re: The Girls Team (TGT *competition*)

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer (also a blonde).

The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it, and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie it would suck you in. One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

A blonde had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. He motioned for her to pull over.

When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to the blonde, "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!".

He then went to her car and cut up her leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said, "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!" He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car. When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face. He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tires. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it. He goes back to his truck and gets a can of gas, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down.

"What's so funny?" the truck driver asked the blonde.

She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"

Quoting CGB*new start;*BGA:“ have fun mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  ”

NEW PIC whaaaaaa

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

A blonde and a redhead are watching the 6 o'clock news one evening. The redhead bets the blonde $50 that the man in the lead story, who is threatening to jump from a 40 story building, will jump. "I'll take that bet," the blonde replied.

A few minutes later, the newscaster breaks in to report that the man had, indeed, jumped from the building. The redhead, feeling sudden guilt for having bet on such an incident, turns to the blonde and tells her that she does not need to pay the $50.

"No, a bet's a bet," the blonde replies, "I owe you $50 dollars."

The redhead, feeling even more guilty, replies "No, you don't understand, I saw the 3:00 edition, so I knew how it was going to turn out."

"That's okay," the blonde replies, "I saw it earlier too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, "Doctor I'm hurting all over my body."

"That's odd", replied the doctor, "Show me what you mean"

So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.

The doctor says, "You're not a natural brunette are you?"

"No I'm a blonde", she replies.

"I thought so.... your finger is broken.", replies the doctor.

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

Hello my GT Peeeps.

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are traveling through the desert when their car suddenly stalls.

They all get out of the car and, upon realizing that its not going to start, they each take one thing from the car. The brunette takes a bottle of water and the redhead takes a bag of food. The blonde gets some tools from the trunk, removes a door from the car and takes the door with her.

They begin to walk through the desert, and soon stop to rest. At this point the blonde and the brunette turn to the redhead and ask her why she brought the food. She replies, "Well, in case I get hungry Ill have something to eat." They all think this is pretty reasonable.

Then the redhead and the blonde turn to the brunette and ask her why she decided to bring water. The brunette replies, "Well, in case I got thirsty Ill have something to drink." They all decide thats a good idea, too.

Finally, the brunette and the redhead turn to the blonde and ask her why on earth she would take the car door. She replies, "Well, I thought if I got hot I could roll down the window."

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why is the groom wearing black?"

Quoting my babys almost 1 [TGT]:“ this si Hailey in her new tutu! It goes with her bday outfit! ”

awe cute.

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game.

"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quater back!'"

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

erm...your gonna get us retarted...

Quoting .:Chrissy:.MFH:“ A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" ... [snip!] ... idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. we're going at night!"”

There was a blonde woman named, Cindy, that was in deep financial problems.
So she got on her knees and prayed "Dear
God, please let me win the lottery. I really need your help or
I'll loose my car, the house, and everything else." She doesn't
win. The next day she prays to God "God! I really really need
your help! I'll loose my car, the house, and everything else."
Once again, she doesn't win. The next day she says the same
prayer; then God speaks to her " Cindy! work with me here, BUY
A TICKET!!"