Husband is a habitual liar..need other views:(

Ok so here it goes...My husband and i are both 20yrs old...way to young to get married in the first place..anyways..We got married dec 30 2006 and i ended up pregnant in feb 07. I had never met his parents before until i had training in miss and they lived in louisiana and came to meet me. The first night out, we went to dinner and as we were talking and getting to know eachother (note: my husband is in another state) we started figuring out that their son had flat out lied to me about all kinds of things. Just stupid things that i dont even care about..for example, that he owned a bmw, had it almost paid off and then sold it and saved the money for school (about $19,000). He also told me he used to be in a band and gave me the cd...i listened to it like every night (this was in the beginning when we first met). I always questioned whether he was lying or not just because i know that a 18/19 yr old cant afford a bmw just working at restaurants and stuff and especially almost pay it off in just 2 yrs or so? lol i would make fun of him all the time for lying about that but he would never admit. I just always had a gut feeling he was lying about a lot of the stuff he was telling me. He told me about some girl that he was pretty serious with before me which i later found out he was only hooking up with her now and again for like 8 months and she was sleeping with some cop at the same time so i know she didnt really care about him all that much..he just told me this to make me jealous. He even told me stories about just small stuff that happened to him, just conversation stuff..that i found out never even happened to him but to his dad! Whats the point in making up stories just to talk? After that dinner i was so mad and hurt cause here i was pregnant and married to him already and just finding this stuff out from his parents. I called him and bitched him out so bad and he admitted he lied about all that stuff and said he just did it to impress me in the beginning but never thought we would get this far. I told him one more lie and it was over and he said he'd never lie to me again. We had a long distance relationship for about 9 months but i never suspected he was cheating or anything and i never have had a gut feeling that he was. Now that we are living together, i know he isnt cheating on me cause he never has a chance to get away to do so, so im not worried about that, but i caught him lying to me again the other day about a credit card he had. Now he's always twisting and turning things to keep me from getting mad but i can tell thats what he's doing and it just makes me 10 times more mad. What is the point in lying about small things that we can work out in an hour? When he lies to me i just nag him about it everyday trying to get him to admit when all he would have to do is tell me the truth and we could fix it. I just dont understand how someone could lie that much. He tells me its cause i get so angry but i dont get any more angry than anyone else would. I believe he just cant stand making people angry or unhappy so he'll lie about anything. i dont know what to do. I made him set up counseling for us but even after he did that i caught him lying about what he did with $10. I dont care what he did with TEN freakin DOLLARS i just want to know the truth and want him to stop pretending he lost it in our home and doesnt want to tear the place apart looking for it...HE OBVIOUSLY KNOWS ITS NOT IN OUR HOME otherwise he would just find it and show me and id be happy and over it! Half the stuff he lies about makes no sense. I tell him its not what hes lying about that makes me so mad, its the fact that hes lying. Anyways, thats kind of my situation, my venting, and i just want to know if anyone knows someone like this. Or what they would do...i know if we dont go to counseling i will leave him because i cant be married to someone i cant trust. I told him its so simple to tell the truth. Just let me be angry/upset about whatever you did for like an hour and then we can work it out, but dont lie and make the situation worse. i dont get it. I wouldnt leave him for spending $10 but i would for lying. How can he not figure that out?

Geez! He sounds just like an ex I had. He was a chronic lier he didn't have to lie but he always did. Even about stupid stuff like how much something costed. Or he would tell me that he had to work late and really go hang out with friends... I didn't care where he was we really weren't that serious. He will just go on to lie about huge stuff. Be careful there is no cure for a man like that  

Pathological liar. I'd face him with it and force him to fess up. That is kinda unforgiveable. Lying is horrible. Right up there with cheating

yea trust me ive faced him with it, lol usually i cry like a baby but this time i freaked out and yelled at him like an evil step mother. I forced him to either set up counseling or im gone..  

Good for you  

I am so sorry about your discovery. That is really unfair!! I know I have dealt through this and am still dealing with it... my fiance is/was compulsive liar. He would tell me the reason he lies... He said I would question him too much... and he said its because I am never happy with the truth?!!! He would lie about the dumbest things. From how many ppl he has slept with (everytime I would ask him it would be a diff #)... to where he got our dog?! He said the dog was abused and he rescued him.... when years later he tells a Friend right infront of me "yea I got my dog from my ex's best friend, they were giving away puppies ... and then he adds "he is a full breed".... but the dog is NOT full breed?!!

It was the mostly the first year of our relationship... now I confront him about it and he is more willing to tell me the truth... but he has always made up stories to impress me, his friends... even strangers, etc. Sometimes they weren't even made up... just an exaggeration of what really happened to make himself sound/look better (like how much $$$ he makes)   . Now we live together and he really doesn't have allot of room to lie to me about things that I won't find out about on my own. But i have always wonder if he is lying and why the need to fabricate stories to others??? Now if I catch him in a lie we have to sit down and discuss "why he felt the need to LIE" ... and how it hurts our relatioship! Its getting better but its not easy living with someone like that!!! Counseling is the only thing I can tell you might help.. but both of yall have to be supportive and patient with each other!!! I really hope things work out for you!!!

Take Care... I know its a HUGE problem (disorder even) but I think its one yall can solve with each others help!!!

hmmm all sounds soooo familiar....

i am 19 and my fiance is 22 and have been together for nearly 2 years and found out he had lied to me about almost everything at the start of our relationship and his excuse was that he was making sure i stayed around.makes me angry at the fact he thought lying bout alot would keep me round....but it has...not the lying...the other half of him.

Its sad and stupid b/c they think they havnt done anything wrong!!!!!!

Obviously he needs counseling. I haven't dated someone like this but I know people that are compulsive liars. My step sons mother is like that and it seems my step son is taking after her. He lies about everything. Compulsive lying is a mental problem and needs to be taken care of that way. We put my step son in counseling and it seemed to help. He was lying just to get attention and feel important in some kind of way. There is probably some kind of underlying problem with your husband that he feels he needs to lie. I think it is great that you asked him to get help. I really believe in counseling, it make a world of difference sometimes. Good luck to you I hope he gets help and everything works out for you two.

thanks! We went to our first session of counseling today and i was really impressed with how my husband handled it. He expressed that he doesnt know why he lies about such silly things and that he really is trying to change. The counselor was impressed too saying that most men wont admit or acknowledge that they have a problem with lying. Im just glad he knows he has a problem. Thanks for everyones support!

My husband has a few family members with this problem. All I can say is it gets worse as they get older.

I hope all works for you. My brother is a chronic liar and it's hard on his fiance and the family. His "fish" stories are huge, it's hard to believe him when he does tell the truth.

My husband is not as bad as my brother, but it's getting out of control. Our problem is more communication, but lying has been an issue. He bounced a check once, we got letters from a credit agency, I got a money order to cover it from the bank, he was suppose to take it in, we ended up getting sued, I typed a letter to the lawyer with the money order number, husband signed it, sent it, had to call the bank to see if it was cashed, sure was - by my husband! Once instance of many and for stupid things. My reactions got more and more angry with each episode. Now it's because he doesn't want me to be mad. Well dumbie (he's 2 , use your brain and grow up.

If only they realized how easy it could be and your really not out to get mad at him. Husbands response " You just like being mad at me". I hope it gets better for you, your both young, but lying, especially about little things, is frustrating. We've done counseling for short time before marriage (3 yrs), but doesn't change. Even when I don't get mad about something, hoping the next time he'll tell the truth, it doesn't work. Be strong. If you love him stick by him, just be prepared that he may not change and you may. I've found I'm more unhappy with my life. 2 kids later - love them and my husband, but lost hope for him. Sorry so long, but hard time sleeping right now. Hoping counseling works for you two. Just know that things may get better, but be prepared if months later you find he really hasn't changed. It really sucks having to be "private eye" and always wonder, "is he telling me the truth"

Keep your head up and stay strong for that baby. Kids change people too, maybe he'll want to be a better example for his child. Good luck to you both!

That's rough and i understand it since i grew up around my brother and hewas always doing that. My parents tried having him see someone but it didn't seem to help well also not surprising cause my parents are divorced and my dad was always telling my brother that the people didn't know anythign and not to listen to them, but lucky my brother seems like he is finally growing up some. Ever since i told him i'm pregnant he's been being more mature and honest which i have a feeling he knew he had to cause he loves kids and he knew i wouldn't put up with that when i had my kid. I haven't had much better luck with men either a lot of them seem to act like that but the worse was my baby's father who did like all that stuff too. I in the end dumped him before i got pregnant but i didn't tell him when i found out but we will never get back together since he has a habit of cheating and is involed with someone who makes the home life for the 2 kids they have horrible and he lied to me about it the whole time. The one good thing that came of that relationship is my unborn baby and his mother is close to me and since we talk has helped make his one daughters life safer and better (that daughter is his from another ex and the women he is with hates her). I wish u all the lucky but all i can say is if he won't change that give him up. Oh yeah i'm 19 and the baby's father is 23 and my brother just turned 22 this year.

My brother was like that, but I knew him too well, everytime he lied I knew he was doing it as it came out of his mouth. I would always just stare at him and then he would jst start crying saying he couldnt help it. I didnt take that either, and we started a thing were he had to call me like every hour or two and tell me what he was doing, where and with who and all that stuff. Then when I saw him, he had to tell me what he had been doing the past day or so since I saw him and he would normally start off lying but he knew I knew the right answer, so after a couple weeks of it he would start to VERY slowly tell me stuff and it started to be the truth more and more.

But it was weird, to most people it would have looked like he was lying because he had to go slow and think about everything before he answered or it wouldnt be the truth. Sometimes he would even blurt out a lie really quick after I asked him something and then just start saying, "no, thats a lie, im sorry", and then tell me the truth.

There is no "cure" but its not like he has to always be like that either. Its just something you have to work with him on and work through it.

Man! do I EVER know how you feel!! My husband is in the Marines now but I started dating him back in May of 2006 and he started lying to me RIGHT off the bat!! talking about how he had a job at Home Depot.. I said ohhh i might see you there! i work there! but you know, stupid me.. he never even HAD a job there!! and, he said his parents gave him a house to have.. NO, that was never their house.. and I would always drive up to that house and love it.. but come to find out it was someone else lived there!! But then we got married in October of 2006 (because it didn't occur to me yet) and now we're pregnant in February of 2007.. and he lies all the time JUST LIKE YOURS DOES!! like... about money BAD.. like oh i didn't spend it but where the hell is it?? and blames it on me!! oh my gosh - we are in the same situation! the SMART thing to do is leave these jerks, but I know how hard it is!! They say they'll change but they never do!! agghh girl if we had half a mind and didn't love them so much.. we'd leave them! hahaha... ohh i hate liars!!!