~SCREAM~
posted 18th Dec '06
Some days I can't stand the thought that I have lost my baby! She would have been 14 weeks now. She died at nine weeks due to cystic hygroma. At first, I told myself I wouldn't keep up on her fetal age and development, but I do. . I hate the fact I'm not pregnant anymore. I hate the idea that all the other girls that are in my life are moving on with their pregnancy and everything is normal. I can think of at least eight women that I know who are continuing on to have a normal pregnancy. I hate that I'm part a statistics. It's just not fair to any of us! ~SCREAM~ I want to be a mother more then anything. It' all I think about. I'm going to start driving my DH crazy. My life is consumed with getting pregnant again.
I guess I just need to vent that off. I'll be 28 this coming year and would like to have at least have one child before I'm 30! Is that so hard to ask!!!!
quoteposted 18th Dec '06
Hang in there girl, you'll get that baby!! Try again as soon as you can. Its gotta be tough, and I would be a wreck. You are definetly in my thoughts. Good lucks and hugs!!!!!
quoteposted 18th Dec '06
Oh Honey! you hand in there. Once your body knows how to be pregnant it will get pregnant again soon. It was only 2 months after i had my miscarage at 9 weeks that i became pregnant again. My son is now 7.
You will always remember that child and you will forever thing, oh, she/he could have been born this month or she/he would have been 1 this month. Allow yourself to grieve, it is a loss of a baby that was very real and you need to grieve as such. You will first be sad, then the sadness turns to anger and then you are at peace.
Ask your husband to just hold you. He may not feel what you do but i am sure that he feels helpless not being able to help you get through this.
Since you have no other children, go away for a little vacation even a little weekend get away. Promise your self and your husband that you will not think of the loss or even at trying to get pregnant again. Think of just each other and why you two got together in the first place. Rekindle the love you shared and do share before your tragedy.
You will come though this just fine. We are all here for you.
Jane
quoteposted 19th Dec '06
jenroyce - Thank you for your kind words.
JaneMiss. That's funny you mention a vacation...We booked a trip to Hawaii for the beginning of February. I also think that's a great idea! Thank you for your encouragement.
JaneMiss wrote: Once your body knows how to be pregnant it will get pregnant again soon. at trying to get pregnant again.
I pray that's true for me as well! quoteposted 19th Dec '06
honey i am so sorry i know it is very hard it took me a long time to get past it you will never get over it just maybe past it though i fell into a deep state of depression for like 7 months after i miscarried it happened at 9 weeks and 2 days and by looking at an ultrasound they said my babys fetal developement was only at appx. 5 weeks and 6 days so my child was dead inside of me for 3 weeks before i knew anything and 4 weeks before i actually passed her through. yep i had to flush my baby down the toilet because they said she wasnt very big so there was no reason for a D and C. But yes it is very normal for you to keep track of how old your baby would be i wanted a girl so bad so I named her Natalie Leanne Clay. My beautiful angel would be 1 year on February 13 2007 (my due date) and i know my grandmother is taking good care of her in heaven. Im not religious but i have to beleive my baby is somewhere.... I loved her so much i wanted to roll over and die because of this so many times but the only thing that kept me alive was my son and close friends and family. yes i do have a child and a child on the way and i have 3 stepkids but nothing in this world could replace my daughter. i am now pregnant a year after miscarrying and i try not to be so scared because i dont want to stress out over it that might be part of the reason your not pregnant yet after i stopped stressing over it and stopped trying to get prego i got prego. well i know this is long but i hope you read it and i hope it was helpful take care and good luck
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