re: Non-Spanking Mamas / Gentle Discipline Support Thread

Quoting Sheldon & Elora's Momma:" I need help in learning to control my temper I guess... I feel like when I have spanked DS in the past ... [snip!] ... tried it yet but I think I might have to try this for potty training AND non-spanking. So to whoever mentioned that thanks.  "

That was me, hehe. If you're getting angry, try just counting to ten before you do ANYTHING. Unless it's a dangerous situation, but in that case just worry about making your child safe before punishing them. Another mama in here does that and she says it helps her to not act from those feelings.

i am freaking out. i need help from the mamas in here. i found out a sitter of mine had been spanking E (no longer a sitter). and she was starting to act out a lot more..possibly because of it. the other day i flew off the handle and spanked her to see if it actually worked, and of course it did not. i cried, and she laughed and ran off to get into something else. she's pushing every button i have lately. she screams very loudly for attention, throws things at people, whines to no extent, tells me "NO" almost constantly, laughs at me, and runs away from me every chance she gets (parking lots, our yard, the park, the store) i feel like i can't even take her in public anymore.    i'm at a loss. i know she's two and a half. it's a hard age. but i felt like i knew how to be a mom..until now. now i feel like i suck at every little parenting decision i make, because i'm lost. she laughs at any sort of discipline and doesn't understand being rewarded for good behavior vs. bad.

Quoting Evelyn Lilianas Mama:" i am freaking out. i need help from the mamas in here. i found out a sitter of mine had been spanking ... [snip!] ... make, because i'm lost. she laughs at any sort of discipline and doesn't understand being rewarded for good behavior vs. bad. "

My daughter is 2,5 too, and I know just what you mean about knowing how to be a mom until now. I am clueless lately.

As far as running, I have a rule that she has to hold my hand in dangerous places. If she bolts, she gets carried.

When she's screaming, is, do you mean crying for attention, or just simply screaming? My daughter just started screeching to be silly I suppose. It is loud and imposssibly high pitched. I just let her do it, unless we're somewhere like a library or restaurant.

One thing that helps with fake crying, if that's what you mean, is teaching them to just say mommy, will you pay attention to me? Once I taught my daughter that phrase, that got so much better.

Throwing I have no experience with and whining I cannot find a solution to, lol.

Quoting Chim Richalds:" My daughter is 2,5 too, and I know just what you mean about knowing how to be a mom until now. I am ... [snip!] ... that phrase, that got so much better. Throwing I have no experience with and whining I cannot find a solution to, lol."

when i pick her up to carry her, she kicks, screams, bites, and says "get away, leave me alone, don't touch me, get lost!" i don't know where she picked these actions/phrases up, but it hurts so badly to hear her saying them.

and i mean..SCREAMING. top of her lungs, glass shattering, i need my way and i need it now scream.

and the problem is, she doesn't want my attention, i try and give her attention, and hugs and she hits and says leave me alone.

if she's getting this frustrated at 2.5 and i can't help her, i'm scared for what's to come. i just want to be a better parent for her!

Quoting Evelyn Lilianas Mama:" when i pick her up to carry her, she kicks, screams, bites, and says "get away, leave me alone, don't ... [snip!] ... getting this frustrated at 2.5 and i can't help her, i'm scared for what's to come. i just want to be a better parent for her! "

Don't take the things she says when she's angry personally. We all say things we don't mean when we're angry. And just keep carrying her if she doesn't hold your hand. It's a pretty natural consequence, if she wont help you keep her safe, you will keep her safe all by yourself.

What does she want when she's screaming? Do you even know or does it just seem random?

Quoting Chim Richalds:" Don't take the things she says when she's angry personally. We all say things we don't mean when we're ... [snip!] ... you will keep her safe all by yourself. What does she want when she's screaming? Do you even know or does it just seem random?"

i don't know to be honest. it does seem very random. i keep a close eye on her and nothing in the environment changes, nothing in the sound volume, everythings the exact same as when she wasn't screaming, except she's screaming. and it takes a LOT of redirection to get her to stop.

Quoting Evelyn Lilianas Mama:" i don't know to be honest. it does seem very random. i keep a close eye on her and nothing in the environment ... [snip!] ... the exact same as when she wasn't screaming, except she's screaming. and it takes a LOT of redirection to get her to stop. "

Have you asked her when she's calm why she screams? I wouldn't redirect or distract from screaming, I'd just let her feel whatever it is and sit with her. Sometimes when A does that, I say do you just need to be mad (or sad) right now? And she'll nod and I just say I get it, and sit next to her, ir put her in my lap if she'll let me, usually she does t though.

I really need some help. My older son is going to be 3 in November and he's started biting, really hard. He bit his little brother and he's got a round bruise on his arm, and today he bit me and left a huge bump. I put him in timeput put him in time out (which I usually don't do, but I didn't know how else to react). He's not biting at daycare, just at home. What can I do to ge him to stop so he doesn't start it at daycare?

Quoting blair-[logan&liams mommy]:" I really need some help. My older son is going to be 3 in November and he's started biting, really hard. ... [snip!] ... else to react). He's not biting at daycare, just at home. What can I do to ge him to stop so he doesn't start it at daycare?"

Is he biting for fun, out of anger, for a reaction? Or all three?

I don't know, it seemed really random. I think he was trying to lay, because when he bit his brother they were playing, and when he bit me I was playing with him.

Quoting blair-[logan&liams mommy]:" I don't know, it seemed really random. I think he was trying to lay, because when he bit his brother they were playing, and when he bit me I was playing with him."

Have you asked him?

I need some bedtime help. Claire is 26 months and a couple weeks ago she started getting close to climbing out of her crib. So we put her toddler bed in there(it was given to us, otherwise I probably would buy a twin bed) and for a few nights it was great. Then the novelty wore off. And she wouldn't stay in it. So I opted to let her fall asleep in our bed and that worked for a couple nights. And now she has this hyper spastic time before she crashes.
I also have a 5 month old who cosleeps and my husband is pretty much gone for the next couple months. She jumps around the bed, throws things, pulls my hair and snuggles too rough with Theo. Our bedtime has gone significantly later than previous which makes me more stressed out as I now have basically no time to myself. I can handle that for a time, but not a fight every night. It's stressing me out. Bedtime used to be between 8 and 9(it got later with summer) and now it's closer to 11 before she's asleep.
Any suggestions? The only way I've been able to get her to calm down is by shutting her bedroom door for a few minutes but that makes me feel terrible. But being by myself, I don't know what to do. I'm trying to nurse Theo to sleep at the same time and it's a mess.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chim Richalds:</b>" Have you asked him?"</blockquote>


No, I didn't. He hasn't bit again though.

Quoting Jenn O:" I need some bedtime help. Claire is 26 months and a couple weeks ago she started getting close to climbing ... [snip!] ... terrible. But being by myself, I don't know what to do. I'm trying to nurse Theo to sleep at the same time and it's a mess. "

I will answer this tonight   after my kids are in bed. Don't let me forget.

Quoting Jenn O:" I need some bedtime help. Claire is 26 months and a couple weeks ago she started getting close to climbing ... [snip!] ... terrible. But being by myself, I don't know what to do. I'm trying to nurse Theo to sleep at the same time and it's a mess. "

Our kids are the same ages and my husband works second so I do bedtime alone and we're pretty much in the same boat  .


Ok, what we do here, is that I get my son to sleep first, then I lay down with my daughter. If I try to get them both down at once, they keep each other up and it is a nightmare.

I would get her a twin anyway if you can afford it. Then you can lay down with her in a separate room from your son and not risk waking him up again.

The spazziness, my daughter totally does. Sometimes a massage helps, I start with her feet, and then get her legs. Sometimes I have her lay on her belly so I can rub her back. Sometimes, it doesn't help at all. But it's worth a try. Being over tired=adrenaline which is bad for sleep obviously, haha, and she's probalby over tired anyway if she's been sleeping like garbage, so it is a cycle. Either way, a massage is super relaxing and a bonding time before you go through the trying process of actually getting her to sleep.

Also, if she is going to be up late anyway, instead of trying for hours, just try an hour or two later than usual for a couple nights and see if she passes right out. Then you can move her bedtime 15 minutes earlier every night until it's back where you feel works best for everybody. That might reset her body into remembering bedtime is a time to lay down and sleep, not see how long she can fight.

Those are just a few things we have tried, if you have specific questions or if you think those won't work, I have a million more suggestions. We've tried pretty much everything around here because we have sleep issues. Sometimes they just evolve and a lot of times what works one night doesn't work the next night (or ever again!).