re: Non-Spanking Mamas / Gentle Discipline Support Thread

Quoting Leah Santini:" I'm Leah, non hitting mama here!"

Hi  .

Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting dream:</b>" but anyway .. getting to my point .. I've been spanking ... [snip!] ... all, but turns the misbehaviour into a game. I recommended that book very highly, I have it on my kindle and it's so so good."

it USUALLY has something to do with the safety of his brother. Like he's pulling his hand / arm or throwing things around that could land in the crib and hit him or something like that. I'm not sure how I'd make it into a game. I try to separate him from the situation. The "main" form of discipline we have (besides talking/explaining, etc) is where he goes and sits and counts to 10 and that's usually all that's needed. I guess sometimes I just feel like it's such a "light" punishment that maybe he's not taking me seriously or something. IDK. I'm not sure why all of a sudden these past few days I have just gone into "don't do that or you'll get a spanking" mode.

Quoting Chim Richalds:" Can you get a fridge lock? A. rips it off in a few days, but they are a nice thought. That is something ... [snip!] ... in in five minutes telling me she's hungry. Tough. Eat your snack you chose and stay out of the fridge! End vent, sorry, lol."

this is part of the reason we have a gate to the kitchen. I usually leave it open, but if he starts getting into things he shouldn't and getting upset about them. (like getting snacks out that he shouldn't eat right then, but putting up a fuss when I ask him to put the snack back) then I just close the gate and it alleviates the problem. He's been told not to open the fridge or freezer (they are separate in our place) and to ask mama or papa to open it for him instead and so far, he's pretty good about listening, unless he spots a really good snack inside and wants it (like chocolate). haha

Quoting dream:" it USUALLY has something to do with the safety of his brother. Like he's pulling his hand / arm or throwing ... [snip!] ... IDK. I'm not sure why all of a sudden these past few days I have just gone into "don't do that or you'll get a spanking" mode."

Ahh I see. No I don't know how you'd do it either   I wish I could be more help. I guess 'punishment' isn't really necessary because he's not MEANING to hurt him, he just thinks he's loving on him or playing with him. How well does he do with redirection? I guess its about finding the balance between getting him out of the situation quickly but also trying to make sure it doesn't keep happening.

Would standing in the corner be a good gentle discipline technique? I know I've learn a lot just from standing in the corner and thinking as a kid. I was thinking about using it when Maia gets old enough. I had to stand in the corner and hold jugs of water one time.. that sucks. lol Probably wont do that... but Idk...   If she makes me mad enough....

Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:" Would standing in the corner be a good gentle discipline technique? I know I've learn a lot just from ... [snip!] ... and hold jugs of water one time.. that sucks. lol Probably wont do that... but Idk...   If she makes me mad enough...."

I personally do not think so. I think that is more in the category of shaming, that is really embarrassing, and I don't find that to be gentle.

It's all about age appropriateness though for what you choose, there's lots of different things.


Any behavior in particular you're wondering about? Your daughter looks really young so I'm assuming you're asking for the future.

Quoting Sofia's Mummy♥:" Ahh I see. No I don't know how you'd do it either   I wish I could be more help. I guess 'punishment' ... [snip!] ... finding the balance between getting him out of the situation quickly but also trying to make sure it doesn't keep happening."

he does really good with redirection

Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:" Would standing in the corner be a good gentle discipline technique? I know I've learn a lot just from ... [snip!] ... and hold jugs of water one time.. that sucks. lol Probably wont do that... but Idk...   If she makes me mad enough...."

I just have my son sit down and we count to 10 together, either right where he is or if it would be better for him to be away from wherever he is, then we'll either move to another part of the room or go to another room. That's almost always enough for him to calm down or separate himself from whatever he's doing that he shouldn't be.

I think if you can accomplish your goal without having to put them in a corner, then it's probably better, but you have to do what works best for you also depending on your child's personality.

Quoting Chim Richalds:" I personally do not think so. I think that is more in the category of shaming, that is really embarrassing, ... [snip!] ... behavior in particular you're wondering about? Your daughter looks really young so I'm assuming you're asking for the future."

I think she's too young for any punishment right now. She wont even go outside without me because one time she did and the porch was hot, she started crying, ran back inside and closed the door! lol She just doesn't do anything bad enough to make me even want to yell at her. But I know one day she will & I don't want to start yelling and hitting. So, I'm trying to find an alternative method.

Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:" I think she's too young for any punishment right now. She wont even go outside without me because one ... [snip!] ... her. But I know one day she will & I don't want to start yelling and hitting. So, I'm trying to find an alternative method."

It's good to start pondering early. We don't do punishments here really. Just talks, role playing, and redirection.

Of course I get angry sometimes and yell or stick my daughter in time out so I don't yell, or I put myself in time out (aka lock myself in the bathroom  ).

My toddler is 2 1/2 though and it's still going well with no punishments. I don't know if it's simply her personality or if our discipline style plays a part, but she's very kind and empathetic with others. And that's really all I focus on, is treating others nicely and being firm but polite when others are mean to her. It's really all that matters in the long run.

Quoting Chim Richalds:" It's good to start pondering early. We don't do punishments here really. Just talks, role playing, and ... [snip!] ... is treating others nicely and being firm but polite when others are mean to her. It's really all that matters in the long run."

Redirection is all I have to work with right now. She's only 14 months old, and I try to sit her down and tell her she can't jump on chairs because she'll fall and get an "Ouch!" but she doesn't look at me half the time when I try to talk to her. So, I just get some toys out and start playing with her or take her outside so she wont jump on chairs anymore.
Her cousins are so bad though. The one just turned 2 and the others 3 and they steal things off of her and scream and kick her. The 3 year old has even laid my daughter down and spanked her butt! Does anyone know what I could do about it? I know they only hit because my brother and sister in law hit them. But I don't want M to pick up their bad behavior.

Help! My toddler is driving me insane... I have moments where I honestly think I need to be in anger management... he pushes my buttons like no one else ever... so anyway, DH and I went into parenting wanting to be non-spanking parents and honestly we have definitely swatted his behind a few times... so now I'm not sure where to go with this... I don't want to spank any more and could use some help to discipline him more effectively... I really want supernanny to come to my house! advice?

Quoting Miss-Maia's Mommy:" Redirection is all I have to work with right now. She's only 14 months old, and I try to sit her down ... [snip!] ... about it? I know they only hit because my brother and sister in law hit them. But I don't want M to pick up their bad behavior."

Ya 14 months old is early for talks, I still went through the motions and explained, but she didn't care or listen until closer to two, probably after 2.

I use redirection for other kids in my home. If their parents don't take care of discipline, I do. I am lucky that most family and friends do it on their own. But I hover around the kids I know aren't disciplined and don't let them be mean basically. If I see that look in their eyes, I stop it, if they hit, I hold their hands (in a nice way) and tell them we don't hit. Same for pretty much everything else.

In my experience, disciplining other people's children is way easier than disciplining your own. Kids tend to fear other adults, so a little nice redirection is all that it takes.

But your case might be different.

Quoting Sheldon & Elora's Momma:" Help! My toddler is driving me insane... I have moments where I honestly think I need to be in anger ... [snip!] ... any more and could use some help to discipline him more effectively... I really want supernanny to come to my house! advice?"

What specific behavior do you need help with?

And don't beat yourself up, because things happen. Everyone loses their temper. A lot of parents end up spanking even when it's not in their plan, because they werespanked, or because it's so normal in our culture, Or whatever other reasons.

It's like any other thing, just because you have one bad day or even several bad days doesn't mean that determines the rest of your days.

Is one to young for time-outs?