Quoting Ryder&Spencer'sMommy:“ I started introducing Ry to pting when I was pg with Spenc. (about 22 mo)I would put him on the toilet ... [snip!] ... regressed) I worked with him until he really seemed ready to pt. His teacher worked with me too, which made it easier i'm sure.”

 Wow..this might come off as harsh but I would NEVER do that to my daughter.  I woudlnt' suggest punishment as a PT method ever...I would rather have a toddler in diapers than a toddler who uses the potty because she is afraid of getting put in a cold shower.  That's effed up.

Quoting Mer is a Mean Girl:“ Wow..this might come off as harsh but I would NEVER do that to my daughter. I woudlnt' suggest punishment ... [snip!] ... a toddler in diapers than a toddler who uses the potty because she is afraid of getting put in a cold shower. That's effed up.”

Well, does that mean that making them clean up their own mess is bad too?

There's a fine line with consequence and unnecessary punishment.

If you have smurf all over you, literally, from making a mess then you honestly need to get clean. For some, a shower is quicker/easier. So -- what's wrong with not making it a fun/warm/pleasing shower?

Quoting Animal Guardian:“ Welcome! We've still got just random words on our end. He communicates well by pointing and shaking his head no, etc...but he's not too interested in verbal communication.  ”

 Well he's not "behind" by any means, kids definitely progress at different skills at different speeds!  So the kid that doesn't talk all that much might be a whiz at putting together puzzles, or climbing and running, etc.  My daughter is pretty verbal (though actually not the most verbal by a long shot of the babies that I "know" her age on gaga!) but others her age are "better" at other things, ya know?  She has NO clue about puzzles, no interest in shape sorting, colors, etc and insists that every number be called three...she just started being able to color very recently (meaning random scribbles) while other kids her age have been coloring for 9 months or so....  
Also, with most things, but especially speech, it seems like kids barely speak at all and then one day they are practically speaking in sentences.  He will start talking one day and you will be like    at all he can say out of the blue! 

Quoting Animal Guardian:“ Well, does that mean that making them clean up their own mess is bad too? There's a fine line with ... [snip!] ... need to get clean. For some, a shower is quicker/easier. So -- what's wrong with not making it a fun/warm/pleasing shower?”

 Because a fun warm pleasing shower is getting clean, a cold shower is punishment.  Verbalizing how disappointed you are is punishment.  
Potty training is a skill that needs to be learned just like any other skill.  I wouldn't punish my daughter because she doesn't properly identify colors, I also will not punish her because she doesn't fully grasp PTing.

My replies in bold
make a huge deal whenever he peed. <-- did he start peeing at 22 months, or did it take time before he realized he should pee?

I started at 7mo pg. He started peeing. I used the same phrase with him as I did when I had to help pt my nieces. 'use your stomach muscles & push'


Till I actually had S thats all I did though. I would put him on the toilet when I changed his diaper in the morning & before bath at night. <-- How much time elapsed? Meaning, did you start early in the pregnancy or towards the end?


I started towards the end. I knew I wasnt going to have him out of diapers before the baby came.

I would flush his poop down the toilet & we would say bye-bye boo-boo (poop). We did this for about 6 weeks. <-- Did he decide on his own to poop in the potty after 6 weeks, or did you suggest it after six weeks and it just worked?

When I told him to use his muscles one he pooped, suprising us both. Thats when I made the huge deal & started flushing everytime.

I remembered reading in a book that a cold shower might help. <-- Interesting. I hadn't heard of this one before. Do you remember which book by chance?

No I dont, I was in the bookstore. My aunt also did the same thing with her 4yo (years&years ago) when I was babysitting.

Quoting Mer is a Mean Girl:“ Wow..this might come off as harsh but I would NEVER do that to my daughter. I woudlnt' suggest punishment ... [snip!] ... a toddler in diapers than a toddler who uses the potty because she is afraid of getting put in a cold shower. That's effed up.”

It was a regression, I didnt start out that way.
The shower was not cold, just cool. Not a warm fun shower but a matter of fact you made a mess, you clean it up.

Quoting Mer is a Mean Girl:“ Because a fun warm pleasing shower is getting clean, a cold shower is punishment. Verbalizing how ... [snip!] ... my daughter because she doesn't properly identify colors, I also will not punish her because she doesn't fully grasp PTing.”

Verbalizing how disappointed you are is punishment.  


So I should always tell him nothing he did is wrong?

Quoting Ryder&Spencer'sMommy:“ It was a regression, I didnt start out that way. The shower was not cold, just cool. Not a warm fun shower but a matter of fact you made a mess, you clean it up. ”

 You said it was cool the first time and cooler each time.  What is cooler than cool? Cold.  Also I wouldn't do it for a regression...I don't see a need to punish a child for  that.  You can have a child clean up their mess without causing them discomfort AND you blatantly told him he was disappointing you...for something that is normal.  

Quoting Mer is a Mean Girl:“ You said it was cool the first time and cooler each time. What is cooler than cool? Cold. Also ... [snip!] ... mess without causing them discomfort AND you blatantly told him he was disappointing you...for something that is normal. ”

It was cool, not a hot shower like he is used to.
I'm sorry I feel the need to punish my child for something that he did wrong.He knew better, he went & hid & did it. Its not like he had diarhea (sp).

He did dissapoint me. I didnt yell at him, spank him, I talked to him a calm manner & told him he was a big boy & big boys use the toilet. If he wanted to be a baby like bubba then go get me a diaper. It was his choice to go get underwear.

I am by far no expert... but what I did try was giving one m&m for potty and two for poop. I had my girls potty trained right after their second birthdays. My son just turned a year old Sept 29 and I have started putting him on the potty just so he is used to sitting on it. He will point to it and sit on it but he has yet to make the connection, he's still very young though. I did get him to pee twice, purely accidental on his part, and I praised him like crazy!

Quoting Ryder&Spencer'sMommy:“ Verbalizing how disappointed you are is punishment.   So I should always tell him nothing he did is wrong?”

 You can tell him that next time he needs to use the potty without saying that he disappointed you. Way to make your kid feel like smurf.

Quoting Mer is a Mean Girl:“ Wow..this might come off as harsh but I would NEVER do that to my daughter. I woudlnt' suggest punishment ... [snip!] ... a toddler in diapers than a toddler who uses the potty because she is afraid of getting put in a cold shower. That's effed up.”

Um, wow, I agree too! That is cruel!

Quoting Mer is a Mean Girl:“ You said it was cool the first time and cooler each time. What is cooler than cool? Cold. Also ... [snip!] ... mess without causing them discomfort AND you blatantly told him he was disappointing you...for something that is normal. ”

agreed. that would only make me fear the toilet more, and make me NOT want to go at all. That instills fear into a child. Now that child is going to have A BAD memory of his potty training.

I have a three year old daughter that regressed after I had another baby... no way would I ever go to extremes about punishing it though. It is very common for children to regress even if there is no real reason for it. We just started to do a sticker chart and hung it on the side of our vanity and if she did good she got a sticker and if she had an accident we put on a sad face.

Quoting Ryder&Spencer'sMommy:“ I started introducing Ry to pting when I was pg with Spenc. (about 22 mo)I would put him on the toilet ... [snip!] ... regressed) I worked with him until he really seemed ready to pt. His teacher worked with me too, which made it easier i'm sure.”

I'm sorry but as a child development professional, you did SO many things wrong here!!!!
When I did Rys I said eww gross, babies use diapers big boys need to use the toilet.--->this can cause children to be embarrassed about pooping. Therefore afraid to do it. Therefore leading to constipation, future body image issues, etc.

So when he did it the 2nd time in 1 day I told him I was very disapointed in him. ---> you should NEVER tell a toddler this. They can't understand punishment or disappointment and accidents should be expected and handled with KINDNESS


I turned on the shower & made him wash himself. I used cool water the1st time (cooler everytime). ---> THIS is outright abuse!!!! Punishing your child with a cold shower is abuse. You disgust me