re: Non-CIO Support Thread!!!

"our world needs more love"
so true.
thanks for posting this, i had a hard time getting my LO to sleep tonight, but this post reminds me that being anti-CIO is SO worth it.

Quoting Humbily:“ "our world needs more love" so true. thanks for posting this, i had a hard time getting my LO to sleep tonight, but this post reminds me that being anti-CIO is SO worth it.”

I'm glad it made you feel better.   The link above those has more detail in it.

Jakes 2 1/2, and he's never CIO. I'm very against it so I wouldn't ever do it. I work at a daycare and I've noticed a difference in children that their parents let them CIO and the ones whose parents don't let them CIO. To me, the biggest difference is how well adjusted NON CIO kids are. They adjust so well to daycare and new people b/c they are secure, even from such a young age.

Quoting Erica (Jacob's mommy!):“ Jakes 2 1/2, and he's never CIO. I'm very against it so I wouldn't ever do it. I work at a daycare and ... [snip!] ... well adjusted NON CIO kids are. They adjust so well to daycare and new people b/c they are secure, even from such a young age.”

This short post, to me, is more important than my whole OP! Thanks for sharing!  

Quoting Punk Rock Princess {EBFB}:“ This short post, to me, is more important than my whole OP! Thanks for sharing!  ”

hehe lol, maybe I'm biased but I really don't think so. My son is an example. He started daycare at 2 years old, never been in anything like it, ever. He did amazing, never cried, played well with the other children, at naptime, he grabs his blanket, lays down, and goes to sleep on his own. I beleive in answering his cries, so he has confidence that he needs will be met, and they are. He doesn't go to sleep screaming, so going to sleep is something joyful for him.

I have no doubt that non CIO is the only way to go lol, I've seen it with my own child and with many other children as well.

ohh and we're also still co-sleeping at 2 1/2 lol. there have been no negative consequences whatsoever, and I just can't see em coming. I like how it feels in my bed when my husband's next to me, why wouldn't our son like having the comfot of us next to him, and more importantly, why would I deny him that?

Woot! We are going on 14 months non-CIO. Liam sleeps all night! And sometimes he will let me just lay him in his crib and walk away! But usually I lay him in our bed and lay down next to him and he passes out. Then i move him to the crib. It's wonderful  

I read the other thread. I would never be able to live with myself if I let my baby get to that point.

Quoting kaciesue:“ I read the other thread. I would never be able to live with myself if I let my baby get to that point.”

Me neither. Poor baby, he just wanted his mom.  

CIO does not cause brain damage. Some studies suggest "letting" a child cry for more than 15 minutes can cause a lack of oxygen and therefore cause brain damage, but then any baby with colic would potentially have brain damage. I think it's wrong to use CIO on a BABY but a Toddler is a whole other story. Children need to learn to self-sooth. My son has learned and it has not damaged our relationship at all and his a perfectly happy child. And he never cried for more than 10 minutes or I would go in and comfort him. I find your "facts" offensive. Obviously if there's something wrong with my child, I'll comfort him. Just wondering, where will you draw the line? Will you still rock your 3 year old to sleep??

Quoting summerbabyX2:“ CIO does not cause brain damage. Some studies suggest "letting" a child cry for more than 15 minutes ... [snip!] ... with my child, I'll comfort him. Just wondering, where will you draw the line? Will you still rock your 3 year old to sleep??”

My son can self-soothe too. Yet has never CIO. You don't know how it will affect him in the future. And to be honest I don't know a pro-CIO mom who would admit to their child not being happy.
How would you feel if you were lonely, but your husband said, "You're not hungry or dirty so you're fine." All you want is for him to hug you or hold you, but he walks out anyway and leaves you to cry yourself to sleep. After a few nights of being ignored you would stop trying. You'd learn to bottle up your emotions (they're not as important as physical discomfort anyway, right?) and you'd give up.
The facts are facts. If they offend you, maybe that tells you something.
And yeah, if he needed me to, I would rock my 3 year old to sleep. They're only little for so long. Letting him cry would just make him have a negative association with sleep. Sleep=crying=loneliness.

But like I said in the OP, you do whatever you want to your kid. Obviously the rest of us prefer a more loving, gentle method.

Quoting Punk Rock Princess {EBFB}:“ My son can self-soothe too. Yet has never CIO. You don't know how it will affect him in the future. ... [snip!] ... But like I said in the OP, you do whatever you want to your kid. Obviously the rest of us prefer a more loving, gentle method.”

I agree.
Rachel slept through the night last night!  
Instead of letting her pacify on my breast, I was walking her around and singing Edelweiss (of all songs, lol) and last night around 11 she woke up and I walked her around and she did the sleepy "Mamamama Mamamama Mama mamamaaaa" on my shoulder and eventually fell asleep. I laid her down next to me in bed and she was out like a light. Didnt wake up til 6! My bed was saturated with milk though, lol.
Having her pacify for 20 seconds every 45 minutes was killing me.
I'm glad I didnt let her CIO, she's a baby and should be treated as one.

Quoting Punk Rock Princess {EBFB}:“ My son can self-soothe too. Yet has never CIO. You don't know how it will affect him in the future. ... [snip!] ... But like I said in the OP, you do whatever you want to your kid. Obviously the rest of us prefer a more loving, gentle method.”

I can't even get into this with you. I perfer to have intelligent discussions, not attacks and saying "the world needs more love" is not a fact (just one of the "facts" you listed) I believe in raising independent confident children. And IMO and with all the child psychologists I've worked with and been mentored by they all say that not allowing your children to develop their own sense of self is damaging. And to me rushing in to rescue my child (not baby) is not allowing them to learn that they are capable of doing things on their own.

CIO aside, it's a parenting choice. I will never helicopter parent. And I don't rely on others to validate my feelings. If I'm "lonely" it's because of something internal going on, not because I need a hug. I'm not codependent so I don't depend on others to make me feel one way or other. And I will teach my son the same, codependency is a dangerous thing. And what will you do when your child is older and can't go to sleep alone, or go to the bathroom alone, or is scared of being ALONE? My son enjoys his time to himself. After we read his stories I give him one of his books and he "reads" it to his teddy bear and then hugs his bear and goes to sleep. But you're right I should rock him to sleep and not allow him this time to express himself and interact with his "friend"

Once again, it's different parenting styles. But to say that one way or the other is damaging the child when all you have is a few flimsy studies (I could find just as many pro CIO) is harmful and judgemental. Maybe you should ask yourself why you felt it necessary to slam other moms, just to make yourself feel better and validate what you've chosen to do with your child? Moms should be supporting one another and offering adivce without attacking.

Quoting summerbabyX2:“ I can't even get into this with you. I perfer to have intelligent discussions, not attacks and saying ... [snip!] ... what you've chosen to do with your child? Moms should be supporting one another and offering adivce without attacking. ”

My son is not scared of being alone. In fact he's playing by himself right now. I do not helicopter parent. I just believe in his cries.
Independence isn't something to be taught, it's a milestone just like everything else.
If you clicked on the link, "The World Needs More Love" part was talking about rising rates of depression and anxiety in the world.
Anyway like I said in the OP, this wasn't to slam other moms. It was for moms who already decided to be non-CIO and needed some affirmation.
And if you read all the replies you will see tons of kids who never CIO who now go to bed on their own.  

Quoting Erica (Jacob's mommy!):“ Jakes 2 1/2, and he's never CIO. I'm very against it so I wouldn't ever do it. I work at a daycare and ... [snip!] ... well adjusted NON CIO kids are. They adjust so well to daycare and new people b/c they are secure, even from such a young age.”

I actually have a quick question for you. I kind of let Vincent CIO, and I was just curious what differences you noticed between the children of these two parenting styles. Vincent's been going to daycare since about 4 months, so it's been almost 9 months now, and he loves daycare and took to it like a fish in water. In your opinion, is this because he was so young, or is he just more adaptable in nature? I offer those two options because your experience has shown that CIO kids don't seem to be as adaptable.