First night of CIO...
posted 10th Nov '09
...and I failed miserably! I put him in the crib when he was drowsy (I typically rock him to sleep) and left the room for 3 minutes. I went back in a min, then left for 5, then 10, 12 and 15. When I went back at the 15 min interval and was rubbing his head and belly, he started coughing from being so upset and puked everywhere.
Ugh, this is SO hard, but I need a baby who sleeps better than he does!! I can not work and be up 6 times a night!
quoteposted 10th Nov '09
When he gets closer to being a yr old.. That's when i would do the CIO.
I ALWAYS rocked Trevor to sleep.
Either a lil before or right after he turned 1 I would let him CIO for 10. If he was still crying at the end of 10min.. I would keep him up with me and then try again in about 30 min. I never let him CIO longer than that.
That was my limit. Most the time he was out within the first 5.
Good luck hunnie.
quoteposted 10th Nov '09
Okay, I'm not looking for anyone to tell me he's too young, I'm just looking for some support. I've read many things for it/against it - and this is what my hubby and I have chosen to do.
quoteposted 10th Nov '09
From Dr. Sears:
What cry research tells us.
Researchers Sylvia Bell and Mary Ainsworth performed studies in the 1970's that should have put the spoilingtheory on the shelf to spoil forever. (It is interesting that up to that time and even to this day, the infant development writers that preached the cry-it-out advice were nearly always male. It took female researchers to begin to set things straight.) These researchers studied two groups of mother-infant pairs. Group 1 mothers gave a prompt and nurturant response to their infant's cries. Group 2 mothers were more restrained in their response. They found that children in Group 1 whose mothers had given an early and more nurturant response were less likely to use crying as a means of communication at one year of age. These children seemed more securely attached to their mothers and had developed better communicative skills, becoming less whiny and manipulative.
Up until that time parents had been led to believe that if they picked up their baby every time she cried she would never learn to settle herself and would become more demanding. Bell and Ainsworth's research showed the opposite. Babies who developed a secure attachment and had their cues responded to in a prompt and nurturing way became less clingy and demanding. More studies were done to shoot down the spoiling theory, showing that babies whose cries were not promptly responded to begin to cry more, longer, and in a more disturbing way. In one study comparing two groups of crying babies, one group of infants received an immediate, nurturant response to their cries, while the other group was left to cry-it-out. The babies whose cries were sensitively attended to cried seventy percent less. The babies in the cry-it-outgroup, on the other hand, did not decrease their crying. In essence, crying research has shown that babies whose cries were listened and responded to learned to "cry better"; the infants who were the product of a more restrained style of parenting learned to "cry harder." It is interesting that the studies revealed differences not only in how the babies communicated with the parents based on the response they got to their cries, but there were also differences in the mothers, too. Studies showed that mothers who gave a more restrained and less nurturant response gradually became more insensitive to their baby's cries, and this insensitivitycarried over to other aspects of their parent-child relationship. Research showed that leaving baby to cry-it- out spoils the whole family.
Crying isn't "good for baby's lungs."
One of the most ridiculous pieces of medical folklore is the dictum: "Let baby cry, it's good for his lungs." In the late 1970's, research showed that babies who were left to cry had heart rates that reached worrisome levels, and lowered oxygen levels in their blood. When these infants' cries were soothed, their cardiovascular system rapidly returned to normal, showing how quickly babies recognize the status of well being on a physiologic level. When a baby's cries are not soothed, he remains in physiologic as well as psychological distress.
The erroneous belief about the healthfulness of crying survives even today in one of the scales of the Apgar score,a sort of test that physicians use to rapidly assess a newborn's condition in the first few minutes after birth. Babies get an extra two points for "crying lustily." I remember pondering this concept back in the mid 1970's when I was the director of a newborn nursery in a university hospital, even before fathering a high-need baby had turned me into an opponent of crying it out. It seemed to me that awarding points for crying made no sense physiologically. The newborn who was in the state of quiet alertness,breathing normally, and actually pinker than the crying infant lost points on the Apgar score.
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