military mammas with BD drama..

ok so i dont post much at all but i need advice...i have been(lived) with my BD for 3yrs off and on now and we are expecting our first child in febuary, well he recently joined the marines so i dont see him as much anymore...two weeks ago he came homeso that we could get married by JP so i can move with him to cali where he is stationed, this is the first time he has seen me since i got pregnant,well everything was going great till the weekend came and all he wanted to do was go out and party..so i let him thinking he hasnt seen any friends or family in a while so why not..right? so later on in the night i call text tocheck up on him and no response till the next moring when he shows up..by that time im already pissed..well while he is in the shower i do go thru his phone because i was already having my suspicions..and what do u kno he was with another girl so now my hormones are racing! not only that but this girl in the past has always gone after the guys iv dated..now my BD...so i call her from his phone but she hangs up right away when she hears my voice so i text her saying to stay away..she goes off telling me if he really cared about me he wouldnt have gone with her and that he is dissapointed in himselfand he has no respect for me...imlike ok yea yea somewhat true i leave it at that i never wrote her back...but why couldnt he tell me this instead of telling her...iv always told him everything...so i confront him and hes like shes just a friend bla blah and thathe loves us and wants to be together and see his son grow up,and im the only girl he wants and has been with..and he just doesnt kno why she would say anything like that...ok yearight, it led into a hugeargument and he leaves for a couple daysto stay with his family...so this fucking asshole comesback and lets me kno hes just not ready to get married because its a huge commitment but still wants us to move with him after the baby is born..he also tells me he knows he will be ready to marry me when he gets out of the military which is in 3yrs..umm yea ok...so his last couple days he says he would rather spend his last vacation time with me..im hurt and confused about this iv tried talking to him and all he says is shes just a friend it was nothing..to me its huge it really hurt my feelings i havent seen him in months and the 2nd day hes with me he goes to see another girl.. what do i do?? i love him so much but iv lost all trust for him...please help out

Sounds to me like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to put you on the back burner so that he can go be wild and do whatever he wants, but apparently you're supposed to wait for him.   Sounds awfully immature.

Quoting Julia - First Time Go:“ Sounds to me like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to put you on the back burner so ... [snip!] ... he can go be wild and do whatever he wants, but apparently you're supposed to wait for him.   Sounds awfully immature.”

yes thats exactly what i told him..he has his cake...he was like whatever...and yes he does want me to wit for him it sucks to kno but its so true.. 

tell him that if he really means it to tell that to the girl while you're there and to stop any kind of contact he has with her! i would not move in with him like that. how do you know he wont always be leaving you home alone to go party and crap? like you said you dont trust him. have him earn the trust back before moving with him.

I know its easier said than done, but If I were you I would not move in with him. Your situation is off to a really bad start. I was in the military for 6 years, and alot of people are very unfaithful to their spouses, men and women. Its sad, but the truth.

Don't do it!! He's just dragging you along!My BD (who is also in the Marines) told me the same exact things! He cheated on me when I was 4.5months pregnant. We were broken up for 6 months and he camehome on leave (first time wesaw each other in 6 months) and it was like nothing had happened between us so we got back together...BIG mistake!! He kept telling me he'd move medown with him but it was excuseafter excuse as to why hecouldn't! And then he told me that him and I were gonna get married and all of this other stuff.He camehome acouple months ago and cheated on me AGAIN.His sister told me that the day he had planned to propose to me, he was with the other girl.It's notworth it!! My BD was just dragging me alongand now I just feel likeI was a back up for him

Quoting ginnybear:“ Don't do it!! He's just dragging you along!My BD (who is also in the Marines) told me the same exact ... [snip!] ... he was with the other girl.It's notworth it!! My BD was just dragging me alongand now I just feel likeI was a back up for him”

I agree, alot of men in the military marry their girlfriends because they are lonely but not because they are ready. I hate it when I see young girls follow their men to their duty station only to be left or cheated on, and then they are stuck living in a place where they dont know too many people,with financial problems and having to piece their life back together.

thanx so much girls...im just so torn and being pregnant does not help at all!

Quoting Caleb Gabriels Mommy:“ I agree, alot of men in the military marry their girlfriends because they are lonely but not because ... [snip!] ... living in a place where they dont know too many people,with financial problems and having to piece their life back together.”

I know, I hate it too!!! I'm so glad I didn't stay with my BD. A lot of guysin the military (and I said a lot...not all!! I don't want people trying to start drama) get this big ego! I know my BD would always tell me that he's a "badass Marine and girls would give anything to be with him". It made me sick!! Lol

Quoting ginnybear:“ I know, I hate it too!!! I'm so glad I didn't stay with my BD. A lot of guysin the military (and I said ... [snip!] ... know my BD would always tell me that he's a "badass Marine and girls would give anything to be with him". It made me sick!! Lol”

omgthat would make me feel the same way..mine thinks he badass too im like yea if they only really knew...iv been thinking about my problem so much i even started having dreams about him leaving me for that girl..  i wonder, doubt it, but if he will change once the baby is here he was never like this when we lived together he never went out but now hes soo different...idk

Quoting nunezbaby1:“ omgthat would make me feel the same way..mine thinks he badass too im like yea if they only really knew...iv ... [snip!] ... change once the baby is here he was never like this when we lived together he never went out but now hes soo different...idk”

Yep that's how mine was too!! He told me when I got pregnant that he wouldn't go out because it wasn't fair to me that I had to stay home...he started going out twice as much as when him and I first got together. It upset me a lot and cried for DAYS...but it really comes down to what you think would be best for you and the baby!

Quoting ginnybear:“ Yep that's how mine was too!! He told me when I got pregnant that he wouldn't go out because it wasn't ... [snip!] ... together. It upset me a lot and cried for DAYS...but it really comes down to what you think would be best for you and the baby!”

ugh making ur own choices are so hard..its like i can even get thru to him..i even have a friend who iv known for 8yrs and he hates my BD hes always telling me i will support u nd ur baby i dont need my BD im like no...i cant even think of cheating on my BD or anything of that sort i dont know what it takes for my BD to realize how much i love him and want him...GUYS SUCK! lol honestly i feel like just keeping him around so he can support us but i feel its just not fair