Am I wrong for this?

I have been wondering this for a while. My daughter is 5 she has not seen her sperm donor since she was 6 months odl and he has never done anything for her and I never wanted him to. She believes my husband to be her father and has no idea otherwise am I wrong for lying to her? When is the right time to tell a child something liek that or do I ever tell her. I dont want to really if she finds out who she is it will just make it worse for her I think. I dont know am I a horrible person?

Quoting August mommy of 2 *BASM*:“ I have been wondering this for a while. My daughter is 5 she has not seen her sperm donor since she was ... [snip!] ... dont want to really if she finds out who she is it will just make it worse for her I think. I dont know am I a horrible person?”

i think when shes old enough to really understand, you should tell her. it would be even more messed up for her to find out way too late and then her biological father be dead.

she has the right to know.

You are not horrible for trying not to hurt your daughter but I believe everyone should know where they come from and what if she learns from another person later on it's better shhe knows from you

since he had no part in her life, i don't think your wrong.
i would tell her. but i would wait until she's really aware of what you're saying. like 7-9 yrs old.

Quoting I AM PENIS:“ i think when shes old enough to really understand, you should tell her. it would be even more messed ... [snip!] ... be even more messed up for her to find out way too late and then her biological father be dead. she has the right to know.”

But how do you know when a child is ready for something like that?

Quoting ☮BG Addict BASM :“ since he had no part in her life, i don't think your wrong. i would tell her. but i would wait until she's really aware of what you're saying. like 7-9 yrs old.”

God I was thinking 16.

Quoting August mommy of 2 *BASM*:“ But how do you know when a child is ready for something like that?”

i cant say. i've never been in that situation.

shes your daughter, im sure you'll know when the time is right.

Quoting I AM PENIS:“ i think when shes old enough to really understand, you should tell her. it would be even more messed ... [snip!] ... be even more messed up for her to find out way too late and then her biological father be dead. she has the right to know.”

I know but what if she hates me for not telling her sooner. And when do you even know when the right time is for something like that?

Quoting August mommy of 2 *BASM*:“ God I was thinking 16.”

i wouldn't wait that long. she may be mad you waited so long to tell her. if you want to wait until she's older i would do it around 13 then.

Quoting I AM PENIS:“ i cant say. i've never been in that situation. shes your daughter, im sure you'll know when the time is right.”

I hope so.

My brother didn't find out that our dad wasn't his dad until he was 18. He was so angry that no one told him before that. He didn't talk to anyone, or leave his bedroom for over a week.
I'd tell her when she's old enough to understand. If she decides later that she wants to try to have a relationship that's her right.
I'd say around 10?

My dad left my mom, sister and I when i was like 1 and i was able to understand since I can remember what was going on but every child is different

My mom never told me about my real dad till I was 16. He isn't a bad person, and granted my situation is different then your daughters. My real dad did do things for me, but I was never told till then. She said the reason for it was she didn't want me to shun away the man that raised me, and go through my teenage years telling him that he wasn't my dad so he can't tell me what to do. I see where she was coming from.

Quoting August mommy of 2 *BASM*:“ I know but what if she hates me for not telling her sooner. And when do you even know when the right time is for something like that?”

she'll most likely forgive you.

you'll just have to break it to her gently when you are both ready.

Quoting ☮BG Addict BASM :“ i wouldn't wait that long. she may be mad you waited so long to tell her. if you want to wait until she's older i would do it around 13 then.”

Ya but what if she wants to find him to meet him. I really feel liek it will hurt my husband, and I dont want her to meet him while he can still influence her.