miscarriages

before school started my boyfriend and i started fighting, it got pretty bad and for the time being we're not having sex until we feel we're in a healthier place. however before we started fighting we did it quite a bit in august.
around the middle of september i felt a bit funny, and when i got my period i bled for only 2-3 days. i thought that was a little weird (usually i have super periods that last over a week) and after awhile i started getting frequent headaches and backaches and mild nausea. on impulse i snapped up the cheapest test i could find and drank quite a bit before taking it (which i was later told to never do) it came up negative. i was still feeling pretty tired and nauseous so i figured i'd wait awhile to see if i kept having symptoms.
then i was one of the first people in my school to catch what we now know is swine flu. after a week or so of being completely run down and in pain i figured i had felt so bad because i was getting sick. but the symptoms still didn't go away.
then i started worrying. then i missed my period. then i gained about 5 pounds for no reason. then my breasts became so sore that just brushing up against something was horribly painful. i wanted to sit down and talk to my boyfriend first, so i held off getting another test. i started spotting a little, but i knew that was normal, i put in a pantyliner so my underwear wouldn't get wrecked. i went to change it one night and when i looked down there were more than 6 large clots in the toilet and i was bleeding heavily. i bled heavily for about 4 or 5 days. it's only recently slowed down.
i've lost all the weight and my breasts don't hurt. i've stopped being nauseous and my headaches are gone. i told my friend i didn't really know if i wanted to find out if it was another miscarriage because i didn't know if i could handle it.
when i went to the doctor before, they told me i was early enough along that clots followed by bleeding was probably a miscarriage and to just rest. but i would have been a few months this time...does this sound like one?
i feel less emotional than i have in a long time, and i feel if it was another one than it's better for me to start dealing with it than to try not to think about it and always wonder a little.
i'm sorry if these questions are dumb....i've gotten pregnant before but i have health issues and my boyfriend was born in a region close to chernobyl so i've never really had one that's lasted for very long...
thanks to anyone that responds to this.

im wondering why after seeing "6 huge clots" and bleeding "heavily for 5 days" you didnt think it was necessary to see a doctor. specially if youve had a miscarriage before one would think you would KNOW you needed to see a doctor incase you needed a possible D & C... no?

and if this is your 3 miscarriage in less then 2 years, you need to get on birth control. jesus!

Maybe, Maybe not.
I'm not trying to mean or anything, just a serious question.. you are only 17 and have already been pregnant twice at 16 that ended in miscarriages.
Why don't you go on birth control to assure you don't get pregnant again and that way you won't have to suffer through anymore miscarriages.
I'm sorry for your loss, I too have had miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy, but i dont understand how you keep allowing yourself at only 17 to get pregnant. birth control or condoms do work.

kid, you need to get on birth control.

those 3 miscarriages are a way of telling you that your young body is not ready for a pregnancy.

wrong thread

the first time i was on the pill, and used condoms. it was a one in a million shot.

A few months later i hit a depression. it went for months and i would keep my boyfriend up for days howling about everything from the miscarriage to the fact that my shoe was untied. i was too out of it to take my pill, and since it gave me mood swings before, i was afraid it would make things worse. my boyfriend's solution was to have lots of unprotected sex with me because he swears 'he really wanted one' and i wasn't in my right mind enough to say anything about it.
i just want to say quickly that realizing my baby was now top priority is what pulled me out of my depression and made me see the big picture, and even though it's good i didn't bring a baby into my situation, i'm grateful to it for helping me pick myself up. it was dumb of me to have unprotected sex, but i'll never regret it happened, no matter how hard it is to have miscarried.

after that we used condoms every time all the time, if this was a pregnancy then once again i just had dumb luck.

h.- we have no insurance. period. not even government assistance. we can't pay out of pocket because we make less than $15,000 a year. i can't ask to go in for miscarriages because i can't admit i have them. last time my father suspected i was pregnant he tried to kill it himself.
and i've always had very heavy periods, like maybe a step or two below this, that's why i don't even know if it's a miscarriage at all.
before when i did manage to ask for help i was told since i was only a few weeks along that i should just rest and only come in if i started getting sick.
i hope i covered everyone's questions.
i would have said all this but i didn't want to make my first post any longer.

my god, you dont think your father trying to kill himself because you were pregnant or the fact you have no insurance would make you want to be more careful??

if it was a m/c and you didnt pass it all and theres still some in there, well that can screw up your reproductive system for good. idk what else to tell since its not at all possible for you to see a doctor.

She said her father tried to kill 'it' not himself.. Im really sorry for your loss and i can only imagine what it must be like to lose a baby even if the pregnancy was a suprise.. Here in australia we have a great health service soi cant imagine not being able to head to the docs when im worried abouut something...Keep a eye on your blood flow, if you get a fever, you should maybe go to the emergency room cause there might still be some tissue in there ( if it was a m/c)..Maybe it might be worth looking around for a free clinic or doing some research online to find a different pill or other form of birth control that would suit you better.
I hope everything works out for you..

If you're that fertile then you should stop having sex unless you want to become a teenage mother. That first miscarriage would have been my wake up call-- just like my son is and i'm now abstinent.

You don't need to be having sex at that age and should know better by now. Use your head girl.

ETA: You're underage. Your parents should have insurance for you whether it's through their employer, out of pocket, or on medicaid.

Quoting bumblebee + 3:“ She said her father tried to kill 'it' not himself.. Im really sorry for your loss and i can only imagine ... [snip!] ... to find a different pill or other form of birth control that would suit you better. I hope everything works out for you..”

well whatever, her father tried to kill "it" then.
 

it says in my parents custody agreement that my father's required to provide me health insurance. he has for brief periods in the past but whenever he has to cut back the first thing he does is drop me off his coverage. he doesn't have a job right now, and my mom is self-employed so neither of them are getting coverage through their employer, nor can we afford out of pocket. there was talk of signing me up for the chip program but in 6 months my father 'never got around to it' and now he thinks my mom should sign me up and she says he should do it, and nothing ever gets done about it.
and i'm not dumb, i didn't run around having lots of unprotected sex, the vast majority of the time i was on the pill, or used a condom, or both. it just happens that way sometimes.
the bleeding slowed and i believe has stopped. i just feel like i'm always going to wonder if i miscarried again, and if it seems for sure one way or the other i can either stop worrying or start trying to get over it.

I consider it dumb-- it has nothing to do with number of partners but that you continue to have sex and continue to get pregnant at a young age. If I had a miscarriage I would have stopped having sex-- especially if it was while on BC. The second time would have made me want to burn my uterus out of my body.

Two miscarriages in a year at your age is stupid and unhealthy. I'm being outspoken on this because you still have a chance to be a normal teen and it's something I wish I had. Don't be stupid anymore.

i'm going to have to disagree. if you choose to be abstinent that's your decision, and it's great that you're able to stick to it, i know it takes alot of willpower. but the pill is effective 99% of the time. if everyone was so scared that they would be that 1% no one would have sex unless they were trying to get pregnant. maybe there are some people who think that's the way to go, but most people aren't like that. when i had sex i knew there was that 1% possibility, and that's a risk that myself, and most of the sexually active world take. it was freak chance the pill failed for me, but if it failed all the time it wouldn't be on the market.
i love my boyfriend, we've been together two years and we have sex because we care about each other and we want to feel closer to each other. i wouldn't want to give that up because of a freak accident in a usually reliable product.

Quoting Twitch:“ i'm going to have to disagree. if you choose to be abstinent that's your decision, and it's great that ... [snip!] ... want to feel closer to each other. i wouldn't want to give that up because of a freak accident in a usually reliable product.”

it was a super freak accident if the pill failed and condom broke at the same time.