We lost our baby today...

Today, I experienced a miscarriage.

I'm at a loss for words. I go between hysteria and feeling numb.

I don't know what to do with myself right now...
I have a wonderful support system, so I'm not PHYSICALLY alone.
But no one I know personally has ever gone through this before.

I found out I was pregnant on October 2.
I know it'll take a long time for me to process it all and be ok. Last week, I felt like something "wasn't right" so I made an appointment. They did an ultrasound and couldn't find a heartbeat. The doctor said that I may not have been as far along as I had originally thought, but I knew when I conceived so I knew my calculations were correct. He said to wait a week because pregnancy progresses quickly. Upon going back today for a follow up ultrasound, the doctor saw that the embryo sac actually shrunk and determined it was a failed pregnancy. He said that I could either choose to let nature take its course, which would mean I could miscarry tomorrow, next week, or even a month from now - and that by going through with it on my own, I would risk serious infection. And I could start bleeding heavily during the middle of the night and have to be taken to the ER with sleeping children; that experience would be much more traumatizing and emotionally and physically painful. The alternative was an in-office procedure in a controlled environment with medication and prescribed antibiotics. It's still considered a "miscarriage" because the embryo has already passed. So I chose the office procedure. I was heavily sedated, but next to childbirth it was the most painful experience. Right now I'm at home and I'm in a lot of pain.

I know that God has a plan for everyone, and for whatever reason He chose to put me through this experience for something. To make me stronger, to make Blake and my relationship stronger, to bring us where we needed to be, to make us appreciate life even more. Maybe all of the above. Maybe the baby wasn't healthy. For whatever reason, which I may never know, I will eventually accept this and be happy again.

I believe God had this in his workings and he wouldn't give us something we couldn't truly handle.

It's just not easy to cope with right now.

I'm sorry for your loss, hun. Stay strong.

I am so sorry   I hope some comfort comes your way.

Quoting Mama Denise:“ Today, I experienced a miscarriage. I'm at a loss for words. I go between hysteria and feeling numb. ... [snip!] ... this in his workings and he wouldn't give us something we couldn't truly handle. It's just not easy to cope with right now.”

iam so sorry mama stay strong keep you head up

sorry for your loss!!  

So sorry for your loss!  

Quoting Mama Denise:“ Today, I experienced a miscarriage. I'm at a loss for words. I go between hysteria and feeling numb. ... [snip!] ... this in his workings and he wouldn't give us something we couldn't truly handle. It's just not easy to cope with right now.”

I am so sorry for your loss hun.

so sorry to hear your loss

Its okay mama.
My first time being pregnant was a miscarriage. July 13 of this year.

I just don't even know how to feel.

I feel angry, sad, guilty, depressed, lost, useless.

Angry because I'm a good person, a good mother.
Sad because I lost my child(embryo, fetus, infant, to me its still a child).
Guilty like maybe I could have done something differently to prevent this.
Depressed and lost, self explanatory.
Useless because... now what?

im sorry for ur loss momma  

Quoting Mama Denise:“ I just don't even know how to feel. I feel angry, sad, guilty, depressed, lost, useless. Angry because ... [snip!] ... I could have done something differently to prevent this. Depressed and lost, self explanatory. Useless because... now what?”

I miscarried last year & it was so damn hard. I end up going to talk to somebody & it helped me so much

Quoting Mama Denise:“ I just don't even know how to feel. I feel angry, sad, guilty, depressed, lost, useless. Angry because ... [snip!] ... I could have done something differently to prevent this. Depressed and lost, self explanatory. Useless because... now what?”

Take some time for yourself. I couldn't look at babies for a little while after mine. Stay strong and everything will be okay.
Its what God wanted, and when your ready, you guys can try again.

sorry for your loss

Im sorry hun, a friend of mine had a miscarriage a few months ago and she found comfort in this so I wanted to share.