Dear Leviathan

I need to vent so i am writing my lost son a letter ... dont read if you dont really care its just my way of attempting to cope thanks ....

Dear leviathan , i lost you on September 12 2008 that day was a wonderfull day at one point and celebrated it is your daddys birthday too ... i gave your daddy the worst birthday gift in the history of gifts ... this september marked a year to the day i lost you my precious baby boy .... as i watch your sister grow exceddengly fast and become so strong and start to take her first steps i wonder would you be walking too now ? would you have taken some steps yet ? would you still cuddle into mommy like your sister does ? i wonder if you two would tease each other and "bully" each other or if you two would cuddle side by side for naps ... i miss you my son mommy will never ever ever ever forget you i love you so much i wish so hard sometimes that you where here your loss reaffirmed my belifes that god is false in my world at least not everyones ....
i wonder where you are right now as i write this my heart actually hurts and i can feel it break as my tears well up and i fight SO SO HAR DLEVI I FIGHT to not cry mommy needs to be SO STRONG for you and your sister if i could sell my soul to have you here i would levi i love you

in my heart forever and in my mind all times <3
i love you levi

love mommy

ETA the god comment im sorry i f i offended anyone its how i feel if you have your faith im happy for you but i dont and never will sorry .

I just signed on, so I am late on all your posts, but I am so sorry hun =[ You are such a strong and amazing mom <3

Quoting Momma Bear 12.26.08:“ I just signed on, so I am late on all your posts, but I am so sorry hun =[ You are such a strong and amazing mom <3”

thank you love <3

i'm sorry  
confused also. octavia is a twin?

Quoting Amy {Mama of 3}:“ i'm sorry   confused also. octavia is a twin?”

yes she was a twin  

Quoting Madam Anarchist:“ yes she was a twin  ”

i'm sorry sweetie :hugs:

Quoting Amy {Mama of 3}:“ i'm sorry sweetie :hugs:”

hugs thank you darling