extreamly depressed long vent

My husband is such an ass hole to me and i don't get it. All through basic and AIT and the first 6 months we were married he was the amazing guy i fell in love with but even more amazing. Then when he came home he treated me like shit and was absolutely fucking bonkers. He would yell at me for the gayest shit. Anyways Im almost done and can't take it anymore,Although i believe posting my problems on gaga is a big mistake, Im desperate I feel so alone without my family and feel like I have no one. So I just need a little comfort.


My husband has been NON- stop bitching about me having a job, So I applied to a bizzlion places, No one called me back. The I decided just to get him off my back that I would start up a small photography business. So I did and and I was right it got him off my back for about two seconds. I was up all night editing photos and stuff and making my website and I was up till about 4 in the morning. At 7 in the morning he wakes me up by yelling at me to get my lazy ass outta bed so the maids can make our bed(we just moved to hawaii so were in a hotel and thats why I don't have a job) Of couse im like hell no, I just got to bed, Onalee is still sleeping and Im not going to have the maid make our bed just so I can get back in it? So he flips the fuck out on me wont leave me alone keeps trying to rip me outta bed like Im his teenagedaughterhes getting up for school or some stupid crap. Then he goes on this rant on how Im so lazy and all I do is spend his money and sit on my ass all day. And how im so messy and all this crap. Yes our hotel room is very messy, Why? because my husband comes home and trashes the shit out of it. I have cleaned it twice, Organized it twice, and he continues to mess it up (including my car too) so why the hell should I have to keep cleaning it? I take care of our daughter all day, She is teething so she screams day in and day out and I dont have time to clean? and the maids always come when onalee is sleeping so I never let them in and that also drives him insane cause aperently he is such a pretty boy he needs a fresh set of sheets every day (even though in our own house we never make our bed and change our sheets every few weeks) I just cant stand the way he treats me, and last night he got home from work around 7, He was an extreame asshole just going off about this and that, then he wanted to go to dinner, so we went to dinner and on our way home I was thinking I would suprise him and get him his fave treat from mcdonalds. He FREAKED out on me, was screaming at me at how its so late and he wants to go to bed (it was 830!!!) he threw this huge fit and was punching things and chucking airfreshers out the window, he went absolutely looney. Is it that bad that I wanted to spend more than an hour and a half with my husband? I never see him cause all he does is comes home, eats, bitches at me, then goes to sleep.

now this is the big problem, He always yells at our daughter and that drives me out the wall and I am not going to put up with that. He never hangs out with her he is either yelling at her or trying to put her to sleep, ALWAYS. I told him I wouldn't stand for it anymore and he promised he wouldn't do it again but then last night I dropped him and the baby off while I went and parked the car and when I walked in the room he was telling our daughter to shut up and stuff? She is 3 months!?!?! I know you get frustrated but come on? did anyone tell him that babies cry???!??? I cant stand it. She doesn't deserve that. sure she cant remember it now but what happens when he makes it a habit and does it when she is a toddler?

I just dont get it ladies, I want out, I want to leave. I hate giving up cause I love my husband and I don't believe in divorce but Im so depressed without my family anyways and now im 100% alone. How can such an amazing man change in a month?

You just moved, correct? This is his first duty station and i bet he's stressed as hell......
It doesn't excuse how he's acting though, he's in the wrong. But its only been a month. Hang in there.

I'm so sorry hun.. Has he every been deployed?

Marriage is hard especially a new one and especially a new one with a new baby. That and he just enlisted and is probably stressed that he has to do good to support you guys and do good so he doesnt fail at his job. Just siot down and have a mature non blaming convo with him

My husband treated my son like that EVER and I would leave. Verbal abuse can lead to more.  

Sounds like he is stressed. That doesn't justify his behavior, but stress does that to people. If it continues, maybe you can suggest marriage counseling or something?

Maybe he is stressed out or depressed..but I wouldn't stand for him yelling at my baby like that

He needs some professional help. No one should be treated like that. I am so sorry for you. Go see the pastor at the church on base, they can normally point you in the right direction.

I'm sorry you're having a rough time   It's not ok for him to treat either of you that way. Have you made any friends down there? Maybe give him a little space and hang out with them instead. I'm sure it's tough living in a hotel room right now too. I say wait it out until your house is ready and see if it gets any better when you're not crunched in a hotel.
Honestly, I think the biggest thing is he's jealous. He's jealous that he's working and you're not. Just explain to him that you're TRYING. Jobs are scarce and he has to understand that. And you're married now so there is no "HIS" money anymore. It's both of your money.

Quoting Lindsey!EBFB:“ Marriage is hard especially a new one and especially a new one with a new baby. That and he just enlisted ... [snip!] ... good to support you guys and do good so he doesnt fail at his job. Just siot down and have a mature non blaming convo with him”

Yeah Im sure its from stress, but when does the stress ever end?

and we have had a million talks, He always promises me he will change and he is sorry then the next day its like we never even had the talk and he is still doing the same shit.

Quoting sunkissed☼sweethear:“ You just moved, correct? This is his first duty station and i bet he's stressed as hell...... It doesn't excuse how he's acting though, he's in the wrong. But its only been a month. Hang in there.”

thank you, Im trying

Quoting @bby:“ I'm so sorry hun.. Has he every been deployed?”

no his first deployment is june of 2009

Im scared. I have no idea who that will make him

Quoting Onalee's Mommmy♥:“ thank you, Im trying”

Maybe spend your free time exploring or relaxing on the beach (if its close)
Be cold towards him... not hateful, but dont express emotion, and dont start conversations. Just be cold or neutral towards him. Show him that you aren't going to put up with his jerky attitude and its not going to phase you to leave him. (even though that isn't the truth)

Quoting MonsterBoobs:“ My husband treated my son like that EVER and I would leave. Verbal abuse can lead to more.  ”

Yeah and thats what im scared about. Although I realllyyyy realllyyy believe it would never lead to that cause my husband is (or use to be) extreamly against abuse. cause he watched his sister get abused by her husband and his dad was verbally and semi abusive.

Its just sad.
I really want a divorce but I just really feel I haven't tried hard enough, But how long until I finally break? It just sucks

im sorry momma   has he been deployed? im not a mili expert but my old neighbour would FREAK out at everything, he was always screaming and drinking and yelling at people..even in the middle of the night he would wake up and start screaming, turned out it was from all the bad stuff he saw