re: extreamly depressed long vent

Quoting Onalee's Mommmy♥:“ yes i know just in the heat of the moment im so angry and sad and overract but after a long walk and a nap i feel alot better”

yeah thats how it is for us....I bitch and groan about him..but the last time I was seriously considering leaving him..but after that day things have been so much better...I try to remember that its no longer just my house..it's his too and we need to realize that we need to work together not against each other....but thats all you need to keep in mind, and trust me you'll read this post days and weeks from now and realize that the heat of the moment can be so over dramatic!!..lol..

Oh honey, this is not good. If I can help in any way, please let me know, advice, chatting, whatever. I'm also a military wife with a new baby, so I understand some of the complexities of sudden changes, but what is going on is not normal, and you need to put an end to it. If what you are saying is not overexaggerated (and only you know if that is the case), then what is going on is a terrible cycle of emotional abuse and looks as though it might only escalate.

You guys are so young, you have a new baby, new responsibilities, a new place, no place to call your own yet...I'm 28 and I know how stressful it is, I can't imagine doing it at your age. However, please get into marriage or even individual counseling before this gets any worse and you two begin to resent each other even more. Do not make excuses for him...if he doesn't want to go, go yourself...Tricare will pay for it. Is there a wives club that you can join? Get involved in the command, get to know people, get yourself out there so you aren't at home by yourself with a little baby all day, I've been there and it does get depressing...you need that human interaction. If he so much as raises a hand to you, you call his command and speak to his superior...any sort of violence against you or your baby should not be tolerated whatsoever.

I'm not sure how he expects you to work when someone has to care for the baby, but that is a whole other issue in and of itself. I'm sure he is worried about money, what the future will bring, etc. He is unsure of himself and confused and no offense, but it kind of sounds like you are feeling the same way...this will not end good if you guys can't communicate. Sit down and have a CALM, LOGICAL discussion...do not let emotions come into play. Ask him what he expects of you and decide if you have that to give. Tell him what you expect of him. Military life is hard and I can guarantee that deployment will not make it any easier. If I can offer any further advice or support, please feel free to pm me or pt me.

Quoting Onalee's Mommmy♥:“ yeah your right its not right. And i think im being misleading by saying yell. Cause that makes it ... [snip!] ... information even though hands down its still not right. He doesn't know how to treat his frustration and needs help with it”

oh, well still. he shouldn't tell her to shut up. that's just mean.

Quoting *Giuliana's Mommy*:“ oh, well still. he shouldn't tell her to shut up. that's just mean.”

yes it is.

Quoting Kelli27:“ Oh honey, this is not good. If I can help in any way, please let me know, advice, chatting, whatever. ... [snip!] ... that deployment will not make it any easier. If I can offer any further advice or support, please feel free to pm me or pt me.”

yeah we have so many calm logical discussions. He has never hit me and trust me I absolutely WOULD NEVER be here if he did. I am a smart lady and would not stand for that. It only leads down worse roads. When we talk it changes things for like a day, and then he always molds back.

We just need professional help. I think individual and couples would be the best.

Quoting Kelli27:“ Oh honey, this is not good. If I can help in any way, please let me know, advice, chatting, whatever. ... [snip!] ... that deployment will not make it any easier. If I can offer any further advice or support, please feel free to pm me or pt me.”

I agree with you....


and Cassie you know you always have MEEEEE!!   Like I said feel free to come over anytime!!!!!

Quoting Onalee's Mommmy♥:“ yeah we have so many calm logical discussions. He has never hit me and trust me I absolutely WOULD ... [snip!] ... like a day, and then he always molds back. We just need professional help. I think individual and couples would be the best.”

You guys should look into it seriously. Before we got married, we had to go to marriage counseling through the church or else they wouldn't do it. The biggest thing that the priest taught us was to avoid using words like "you MAKE me" or things that make it sound like you're being accusatory. If you're mad at eachother, just express that you're angry and leave it until you're calmed down.

I am sorry to hear that. I am not a military wife or girlfriend but if you need someone to talk to you can talk to me any time.