I got pregnant when I was 16 by my boyfriend at the time.
We broke up and I started dating another guy.
The other guy knew that I was pregnant and didn't care.
After I had my daughter he said he wanted to be the father of her so we stayed together.
A couple of years later we broke up because he was an alcoholic and he was abusive.
I was really depressed from all the stress that I having a lot of issues and CAS stepped in and my daughter went to go live with my ex (not her biological father) and his mother.
They go to court and force me to add my ex's name to her birth certificate and we get joint custody.
He moved away and started seeing her only every other weekend and stopped seeing her all together recently.
My daughter is 12 now and tells me that she hates her "dad" and said that she doesn't feel part of his family.

Should I tell her that he is not her biological father or just leave it alone?

Probably tell her.

Absolutely. She has a right to know who her biological father is.

wow thats a hard one...

if it were me, i think id tell her. everyone has a right to know the truth about their heritage.. but idk how that would affect her=/

That doesn't make sense.. Why would they give your ex boyfriend joint custody of your daughter when he is not the father?

it's up to you, but IMO you should have told her sooner. why can't she meet her real father?

and bear's mommy..i think she got her ex's name put on the birth certificate?

Quoting Bear's Mommy. ♀:“ That doesn't make sense.. Why would they give your ex boyfriend joint custody of your daughter when he is not the father?”

I was going through a really rough time, and they manipulated me by saying that if I didn't agree to what they wanted they'd make sure my daughter ended up in foster care.

my mom got married when I was 2.
I always thought the dad I had now was my real dad.
When I was 11 she told me I was adopted by him and my real dad wanted nothing to do with me...
In a way it hurt my feelings.
In a way.. tell her.
But then again don't because then she will wonder why her real dad didnt want her..
I would be just as confused as you

Thats weird they would give your ex custody when he wasnt hers..You probably married him though huh??

I would tell her what happened...shes definitley of age, and instead of being confused as of why she doesnt fit in or feel like shes part of his family..it would probably help her and make her realize she isnt related to him by love...but loves her anyway...

Quoting JiLLYAN.:“ it's up to you, but IMO you should have told her sooner. why can't she meet her real father? and bear's mommy..i think she got her ex's name put on the birth certificate?”

I didn't put him on the BC because we both knew that he wasn't the father.

Quoting Tavie:“ Thats weird they would give your ex custody when he wasnt hers..You probably married him though huh?? ... [snip!] ... part of his family..it would probably help her and make her realize she isnt related to him by love...but loves her anyway...”

That's the thing. He stopped seeing her and paying child support because him and his girlfriend have 2 kids together now.

Quoting ~*~Confused~*~:“ I didn't put him on the BC because we both knew that he wasn't the father.”

okay so now i'm confused.

"They go to court and force me to add my ex's name to her birth certificate and we get joint custody. "

so, who did you put on there?

I don't know if I would tell her honestly..

Quoting JiLLYAN.:“ okay so now i'm confused. "They go to court and force me to add my ex's name to her birth certificate and we get joint custody. " so, who did you put on there?”

The courts told me I had to put him on the birth certificate.

Quoting Bear's Mommy. ♀:“ I don't know if I would tell her honestly..”

thats what I was syaing...
I mean when my mom told me it made me wonder why my real dad was such an ass...
and it hurt my feelings
but now, even though it sounds bad.
my biological father is in prison and will die in there
and honestly im glad.
I have the best father I could ask for.