Two.

On Sunday, it will be two years since I actually went through with my abortion.
I got to admit, it's a little tougher this year than it was last year considering I'm pregnant again.
I am not the type of person who will sit there and talk to my boyfriend now about it because what am I supposed to say... "my first baby's daddy made me do it and now I still live in regret even though I'm in a better situation"?
Still to this day, I don't see why I really did it. And in my opinion, it wasn't really my own choice. I did it for him, not me. And now I don't even talk to him because deep down, I hate him so bad for what he wanted me to do.
Hopefully after Sunday this all gets better so I can move on. I feel like I should have by now...

Quoting Little Ashes:“ On Sunday, it will be two years since I actually went through with my abortion. I got to admit, it's ... [snip!] ... for what he wanted me to do. Hopefully after Sunday this all gets better so I can move on. I feel like I should have by now...”

I am 100% prolife.. I am against abortion for many reasons, but one of the biggest is the lingering effects it has on the mother. Depression and suicide rates are so high among mothers who abort. It seems to be a little better with mothers who give their babies up for adoption. I can't imagine what you're going through. I doubt you'll ever really move on, but I hope things get easier on you.

Yes, in 2 yrs you should have gotten over it.

Therapy is a good route...you don't want to risk depression while pregnant or PPD b/c of conflicting feelings and hormones over the "lost baby" and the new baby.

Quoting KelsnJack'smom:“ I am 100% prolife.. I am against abortion for many reasons, but one of the biggest is the lingering effects ... [snip!] ... adoption. I can't imagine what you're going through. I doubt you'll ever really move on, but I hope things get easier on you.”

    

I agree 100%.

I've never been through that, but I can only imagine how hard it is to get over. It's only been two years, that's not much time to move on from something so life altering. Stay strong and congrats on your LO.

I got pregnant 5 years after my abortion and truthfully never (to my hindsight recollection) thought about the previous pregnancy.

It was therapeutic for me to burn an u/s pic I had of the first pregnancy from 6w. (I did that 2 yrs and few months post abortion).

I have the pictures of the ultrasound before I got it done but I have it completely lost and hidden somewhere at my dad's house which is four hours away. I haven't looked at them since the summer before last.
I got pregnant again a year and a half afterwards and miscarried. After that I thought I was just destined to keep losing them and when I first got pregnant again with the one I have now, I've been and still am way too worried.
I've been through therapy. My doctor put me on medication up until I got pregnant to try to help me cope. I don't really think about it much until this time of year or close to what my due date would have been.

Quoting Animal Guardian:“ Yes, in 2 yrs you should have gotten over it. Therapy is a good route...you don't want to risk depression ... [snip!] ... want to risk depression while pregnant or PPD b/c of conflicting feelings and hormones over the "lost baby" and the new baby.”

Whoa.. Did you really just tell her that she should be over the loss of her CHILD... in 2 years??? There's no amount of time that can make those feelings go away... only time that can help her gain acceptance. Yes, with another pregnancy she should consider talking to someone if she thinks it will help, but that's not always the case. Some days just hit harder than others...

As far as you "little ashes", you may feel regret for having an abortion with your first pregnancy but you have to think... If he didn't love you... then would he have loved your baby?? Would he have been there for you and your baby when you needed him?? Chances are probably not... and that life just wasn't meant to be for you... But anyways, good luck with the little one... Everything will turn out fine... =]

Quoting Shannon12092:“ Whoa.. Did you really just tell her that she should be over the loss of her CHILD... in 2 years??? ... [snip!] ... that life just wasn't meant to be for you... But anyways, good luck with the little one... Everything will turn out fine... =]”

In all fairness, the OP was the one who decided to lose her child.

Quoting KelsnJack'smom:“ I am 100% prolife.. I am against abortion for many reasons, but one of the biggest is the lingering effects ... [snip!] ... adoption. I can't imagine what you're going through. I doubt you'll ever really move on, but I hope things get easier on you.”

I completely agree!

I had an abortion 5 months ago and I feel the same way. I do not feel like it was my choice. The child's father was not ready to man up. He said he would be there financially but that was it. And that was just not good enough for me. I wanted my child to have a father, not a paycheck. So I guess ultimately it was my decision. But he knew deep down I wanted to keep it, and he knews I need to hear him say he would be there for our child. So in my opinion he forced me.

Im so happy for you that your pregnant again! Thats wonderful!
And I also am sorry that its still on your mind.
My advice would be to focus on the baby that you have.
Think of it this way, If you wouldn't have had the abortion, you would have the same child you have growing inside of you now.
Focus on the now!
Stay positive.
Best wishes.

my hubby went threw something like that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant they were just in their teens and they had decided to keep it but their parents had told them no and made her get an abortion he is very sad about it he says yes they prob wouldn't have worked out but he still would of been the best dad he could have been... i understand him and i dont feel like he is sad about what his girlfriend and him had but he is sad for their baby so i think maybe you should try and talk to your bf maybe he will realize your morning a life and not a relationship

It has taken a while for him to come around to knowing somewhat what I am going through. He has never been there and I'm having his first child.
The first guy didn't even want to be a part in the baby's life. Money or no money (he thought I was going to sue him for child support). His exact words were "go get the abortion or your parents will find you in a body bag." He was psycho, to say the least.
My mom brought up a good point the other night. That I did it to protect both the baby and I. I still deep down blame myself just for the simple fact that I put the baby in that position and I kind of turned myself into thinking that I've killed something.
I was talking to my boyfriend the other night and the thing that bothers me is the fact I can remember everything. I can remember crying in the waiting room. I can remember Montel being on the TV before I went in. I can remember calling my doctor's office and some nurse calling me back saying "we don't believe in abortions, we can't help you out" after my doctor said to me he'd give me something for the anxiety afterwards. I can remember crying in the back. I can remember singing Sweet Transvestite to get over my nerves while I was getting it done. And I can remember the waiting room where the girl next to me was crying because she just took the darvocet. (I had the I.V.)

Quoting Animal Guardian:“ Yes, in 2 yrs you should have gotten over it.   Therapy is a good route...you don't want to risk depression ... [snip!] ... want to risk depression while pregnant or PPD b/c of conflicting feelings and hormones over the "lost baby" and the new baby.”

if your child died would you get over it?

scary.

Quoting Tara ♥ TCD:“ if your child died would you get over it? scary.”

yep. I sure did. Read my other posts ninny.