My BD's in the army and...

I wasn't sure where to post this but heres kinda my question/situation:

My BD is in the army and he had to leave to go do something, I think he said it was a practice mission or something, and that he would probably be back in a couple weeks. He left August 23rd...I found out I was pregnant September 5th. After I found out I asked his best friend if he had heard from Matt and if he knew what was going on/when he was going to get back/etc (because he hadn't been calling or texting me). His best friend said no but he told me he'd give Matt's mom my number and have her call me if she found out anything. She called me when my phone was dead and left a voicemail saying that Matt told her to tell me he was coming back October 19th. She called from his phone...so obviously he left it. October 19th came around and he wasn't here still and I asked his best friend again and he told me that he heard from Matt's mom that he was supposed to be home around November 20-ish...he hasn't talked to Matt so I was thinking ok, no big deal he's just busy and can't contact us.

My mom has been freaking out and telling me that Matt should be able to reach me somehow and basically insinuating that he doesn't care about me and stuff which I know is definitely not true, but she keeps threatening to email his sister and tell her I'm pregnant---I wanted Matt to find out from ME, not anyone else. I don't know what my mom's deal is but she also talked to her friend and he did a report on the army apparently and thinks he knows everything about it because of that and said that the army isn't a prison and therefore he should be able to call me whenever he wants. My grandma agrees with them.

I asked my friends (1 who was in the army & one who's husband is in the army) and the first said that it was unusual for a practice mission to be so long and the other didn't act like it was anything out of the ordinary.

I just need to make sense of this situation because now I don't know what to think...I know he'd call me if he could because he always has, but then why has he been gone so long? and how does his mom know the dates of when he's supposed to be back if he can't contact anyone? If anyone's been in this situation and maybe has any ideas about what's going on, that would help so much...thanks

Thats doesnt make sense. My husband when on missions and was able to call when he was able to. I might get a call a week but I got something. I think you should tell him your pregnant even if it means telling his mom so she can tell him.

Personally, I'd be leery.
My husband was in the Marines (which tends to be a little more strict that the army), and he would have been able to sneak a phone call or something by that point, if it were us.
Plus, Matt was infantry and his "field ops" were never more than a month or so. Honestly, I'd just email his family or tell his mom to get him to call you or something. You can always apologize if he was actually not able to call you, but at least that way you'd know if he was avoiding you or something...

yeah... i grew up in a military family and that doesn't sound normal at all.

Well if he can call his mom he should be able to call you, also that is way out of the norm...the longest my husband ever was away to train was a little over a month. I'd definately be questioning this! Oh and his cell phone rarely worked out there but he did get to call every few days for a few minutes at a time.

My husband is active army. When my husband is in the field or on pratice missions they do sometimes get ectended. If thats the case he would call and tell me, or I could contact his FRG (Family Rediness Group)and get the dates he should be home. When my husband is in the field he can call me for quick spurts, but when he is on pratice missions he has to leave his phone with me because he can get an article 15 for even having it with him. I would say try contacting his unit's CQ desk or their FRG and tell them the sisuation and why you need to talk to him. If all else fails tell his mom and if hes calling her then I am pretty sure he will call as soon as he hears, but the longer you keep it from him he might doubt it being his child not trying to be rude or anything/

IMO, it seems like something is up. Especially if his mom knows info. He has been gone since August and no phone calls??? The Army isnt THAT strict, though I have no idea what he does in the Army or what rank he is and so forth...but...that seems an awful long time with no word. They dont usually do that. At least, no where or any unit I have ever been in.

Hmm. Just call his momma directly

oh really? wow...ok well I feel weird about calling his mom because last time I texted her she didn't text me back so I think she may think I'm annoying or something...should I maybe just ask his sister if he's writing/calling his mom so I know how exactly he's contacting her...and then maybe just tell her? because he doesn't have my address so...and plus I know it will be a big shock to his mom if I tell her...I just don't want to ruin things you know like have him come home and be bombarded by people who already know before he does...ahh now I'm worried and wondering why he wouldn't be calling me OR his best friend.

Quoting *OU Baby* JM-OBAMF:“ IMO, it seems like something is up. Especially if his mom knows info. He has been gone since August and ... [snip!] ... seems an awful long time with no word. They dont usually do that. At least, no where or any unit I have ever been in.”

  

Quoting nascargir97:“ My husband is active army. When my husband is in the field or on pratice missions they do sometimes get ... [snip!] ... as soon as he hears, but the longer you keep it from him he might doubt it being his child not trying to be rude or anything/”

how do I contact FRG?

Quoting *OU Baby* JM-OBAMF:“ IMO, it seems like something is up. Especially if his mom knows info. He has been gone since August and ... [snip!] ... seems an awful long time with no word. They dont usually do that. At least, no where or any unit I have ever been in.”

he's a combat engineer

Quoting !!!:“ oh really? wow...ok well I feel weird about calling his mom because last time I texted her she didn't ... [snip!] ... by people who already know before he does...ahh now I'm worried and wondering why he wouldn't be calling me OR his best friend.”

honestly... from an outsider's point of view, it seems like he's trying to blow you off and his mom not responding to you might be because she's in on it. but of course that might not be the case, just how it looks. the army is NOT that strict, he would be able to call/text if he wanted to. it would probably be best if you tell his mom you're pregnant. i know you wanted to wait but if he is in fact blowing you off, it may be the only way to get his attention.

Quoting !!!:“ how do I contact FRG?”

If you know his unit and what post hes stationed at you can actually call the post hotline number and get the number for his cq desk. call his cq desk and they can give you the FRG's number or someone that can answer some of your questions.

Quoting nascargir97:“ If you know his unit and what post hes stationed at you can actually call the post hotline number and ... [snip!] ... for his cq desk. call his cq desk and they can give you the FRG's number or someone that can answer some of your questions.”

okay well I know what base he goes to here in AZ but as of where he is right now I'm just not sure...one of my friends told me I couldn't just call and get information on him since we aren't married or anything...I've just heard a bunch of stuff and its all confusing me on like what I can and can't do