re: Advice on my husband(long)

Hon he made his bed.

dont feel guilty..

he is having his cake eating it to..he has u sitting at home basically waiting for him.

I am all for the milirary and totally support all service men and woman but it seems like he punked out when Marrige and the baby got to hard he ran away to the service.

you needed him most when you were going through all that and in my eyes he failed you.

you did a lot more to salvage it than I ever would have..

Quoting Navy Wife Abraham:“ thanks ladies, i do have a back up plan, i have friends who are like my family that have money set aside ... [snip!] ... like its my chance for closure or a new life depending on what he does... im kinda doing this to myself im starting to think”

i dont think you would be denying her at all, from what you have said you are a single parent already, you just have a bloke hanging round not doing much for you or her.

Quoting Makennah's Mommy:“ Hon he made his bed. dont feel guilty.. he is having his cake eating it to..he has u sitting at home ... [snip!] ... when you were going through all that and in my eyes he failed you. you did a lot more to salvage it than I ever would have..”

thats what i kept saying is he joined to run off and i got called a bitch and yelled at because jioning the military is a admiral thing and he did it for a better life for us and blah blah blah but i know him better than that...

and yeah kind of my closure so i know i made the right choice either way

Quoting madii:“ i dont think you would be denying her at all, from what you have said you are a single parent already, you just have a bloke hanging round not doing much for you or her.”

there is a guy who i talk to, he is my best friend but im kind of in love with him, as wrong as that is with me being married, he said the same thing. he already has a 3 year old he basically takes care of on his own, and told me to cut my losses and he would move me down to Az and give me a place to stay but i would feel like i failed my daughter if i did what i wanted

Quoting Navy Wife Abraham:“ there is a guy who i talk to, he is my best friend but im kind of in love with him, as wrong as that ... [snip!] ... and he would move me down to Az and give me a place to stay but i would feel like i failed my daughter if i did what i wanted”

if anything you would be doing the best for her by doing whats best for you.
kids pick up on so much more than people give them credit for, if your upset and stressed she will eventually pick up on it and an unhappy mama means unhappy babies

This is just an idea but what if... Instead of moving there- you just go for a visit. See how he acts, reacts to your daughter, see what your feelings for him are. That might give you some closure without actually going through all the hassle of moving there. Ya know?

Quoting [ Kate ]:“ This is just an idea but what if... Instead of moving there- you just go for a visit. See how he acts, ... [snip!] ... feelings for him are. That might give you some closure without actually going through all the hassle of moving there. Ya know?”

yeah actually, that sounds more plausible than moving all mine and my daughters stuff out there than to possibly turn around and go home

Quoting Navy Wife Abraham:“ my husband and i have been having a hard time ever since i got preggers and our baby is almost14 months ... [snip!] ... she is only mine) getting along he acts like he has changed but in person will that be the case? i need advice ladies   help??”

I would take it slowly. Dont move there right away but do visits. Maybe a few weekends then a week and build up. If he can prove himself then I would start thinking about moving. You dont want to move a baby just to move her back.

However Im not sure if hes going to change. My bio father was the same way and begged my mom time and time again to stay but he never changed. When he left us its cause he actually didnt want me! Knowing that was the worst thing i had ever heard but in the end I got a BETTER man to be my daddy. And guess what im a total daddys girl!!!

Quoting Navy Wife Abraham:“ my husband and i have been having a hard time ever since i got preggers and our baby is almost14 months ... [snip!] ... she is only mine) getting along he acts like he has changed but in person will that be the case? i need advice ladies   help??”

as sad as it sounds even moving with give him a reality check
he is being a little girl,insecure,emotional and stupid
you dont deserve that at this point,with your baby,YOU MIGHT SAY,he is the babys daddy and i depend on him and all that,if you think like that at least consider moving a break,nothing more,you move to AZ,he actually gets that he is in the process of losing you,if that makes a difference,awesome,great,get back to your life,but if that doesnt help either,then he is not worth your time,sure he will be your babys daddy,he will see her when he is ready,but,he does not deserve you and her at this point

Quoting Navy Wife Abraham:“ he calls me but i have to go into his account to pull out money for me and the baby or he spends it. ... [snip!] ... on the web cam and sees us that way too. i just think to him he is in heaven right now because he has no responsibility at all”

i know what u mean me an my kids dad(ex hubby now) went through that he didnt even go with me to the u/s appt with me with either one of our kids he was in the army we lived on base..... he didnt help me with anything he wouldnt even help me with my son when he was born he did the same thing when i was in labor he ws just there long enough to see him be born an then left my mom an sister was there with me the whole time i was in the hospital he never stayed with me...well when my son was about 6-8 wks old i had enough an i told him i was leaving well that didnt work so well he lost his temper an punch my cansters an cut his hand up to were his tendons was hanging out of his hand.... well i left anways an moved back up to the northeast part of the state an we talked for a while an decided to try one more time an then i got preg with our daughter an it was the same ole thing but this time he was cheating an the girl talked to me an told me she didnt know that he was married an he told that we wasnt together an all that mumbo jumbo junk well i he admitted to it an at that time i was about to give birth to our DD he barley made it there to see her be born an only cuz him mom called an fussed him out... well needless to say we have been divorced for 3 years an hes not changed at bit he dont even wanna see his kids unless he wants to show them off the his new GF which that dont fly with me ... but hes sorry an he dont care about his kids my son is about to be 7 an hes since him once on for any od his birthdays an the same with my 4 year old.... just do whats best for u and ur LO

Quoting Navy Wife Abraham:“ he calls me but i have to go into his account to pull out money for me and the baby or he spends it. ... [snip!] ... on the web cam and sees us that way too. i just think to him he is in heaven right now because he has no responsibility at all”

i know what u mean me an my kids dad(ex hubby now) went through that he didnt even go with me to the u/s appt with me with either one of our kids he was in the army we lived on base..... he didnt help me with anything he wouldnt even help me with my son when he was born he did the same thing when i was in labor he ws just there long enough to see him be born an then left my mom an sister was there with me the whole time i was in the hospital he never stayed with me...well when my son was about 6-8 wks old i had enough an i told him i was leaving well that didnt work so well he lost his temper an punch my cansters an cut his hand up to were his tendons was hanging out of his hand.... well i left anways an moved back up to the northeast part of the state an we talked for a while an decided to try one more time an then i got preg with our daughter an it was the same ole thing but this time he was cheating an the girl talked to me an told me she didnt know that he was married an he told that we wasnt together an all that mumbo jumbo junk well i he admitted to it an at that time i was about to give birth to our DD he barley made it there to see her be born an only cuz him mom called an fussed him out... well needless to say we have been divorced for 3 years an hes not changed at bit he dont even wanna see his kids unless he wants to show them off the his new GF which that dont fly with me ... but hes sorry an he dont care about his kids my son is about to be 7 an hes since him once on for any od his birthdays an the same with my 4 year old.... just do whats best for u and ur LO