im so sad

allI want to do is cry.
on my way to work, at work, after work on the way home...andI cry myself to sleep.


...now
I'd never admit it to him, but I miss him, so much, even after all the horrible things he did to me. I still love him, and I probably will for a long time, as much as I dont want to. He's the father of my babies; I can't hate him, even though I know I should.
I feel sad the most when I look at my son, and I think about what i'm going to say to him when he asks me where his daddy is.
I think about how happy he was when I told him I was pregnant again, and said he hoped it's a girl this time, and he couldnt wait to have a daddy's girl...and then 2 days later he bashed my head against the fridge.
I'm sad because I let it happen...again

im sorry momma  

i'm sorry   but you are better off with out him!

thanks. I am too, for my babies.

I know it's going to be hard, but you did the right thing!! With what he said to you afterward, he's not remorseful nor does he care about what he did. You may love him for a long time, but you know that love shouldn't hurt and I don't believe that anyone who truly loves you back would hurt you.

You don't have to tell your son everything right away, just what he needs to know to satisfy his curiousity at the time. My friend's daughter asks about her daddy sometimes, too and she just gets enough information to make her happy. But I think to talk about different kinds of families with him may help him understand that some families don't have daddies, just mommies.

I hope you start to feel better soon  

Oh my god!!

A man like that doesn't deserve your tears, a beautiful son, or a moment of you missing him! What if you had lost the baby?! What if you stayed with him...would he eventually be doing the same to your children?!

The only one loosing out is that soul-less prick! Be strong mama!!

I'm sorry Momma... I've been there.

I'm on my 3rd kiddo, and Daddy decided it was too much for him and left. This is the 2nd time he's done it. It was really hard for me after the 1st time, and everyone tried to comfort me, but that only made me more and more sad.

After the 2nd time, I got the closure I needed, and I'm stronger because of it. I'm not going to say it was easy then, or that it's easy now, because I'd be lying. And I'm not going to say, "You don't need him anyways" because I know how much that DOESN'T HELP. But believe me when I say that everything happens for a reason. You may not understand it now, but you will get through this.

Good luck, Momma! Stay strong!

you're right, at work ppl are constantly coming up to me and saying "I heard what happened, I'm sooo sorry." "what are you going to do?"
and my favorite

"are you ok?" I love that question

NO 
I'm fucking not ok!
I know everything happens for a reason, I truely do believe that...but why this? I know it's happened to other women, and they've asked the same thing. I just never thought it would happen to me, I never let anyone hit me before. Why did I let him?!


I hate being a fucking statistic