burying a loved one

I recently went home to say goodbye to my Grandma.
I also went home in February to say goodbye to my Granny..

what i noticed and have heard talked about before these two funerals was that the family is not allowed to stay and watch them put the casket down..
they waited for us to leave with my granny .. she was actually buried and my grandma was put in a mosoleum and they actually asked us to leave.

I heard that this was a law now.. maybe just in Oklahoma but does anyone know why?
in past funerals we stayed and actually put dirt in after the casket went down.

Quoting ~*~Lydia Rene'~*~:“ I recently went home to say goodbye to my Grandma. I also went home in February to say goodbye to my ... [snip!] ... just in Oklahoma but does anyone know why? in past funerals we stayed and actually put dirt in after the casket went down.”

I havent heard this!! It must be a new law within the past 2 years.... ?

Hmm, I don't know for sure, my dad just died Sept. 24 and the pall bearers put the casket on the grave opening, but that was all we were allowed to see as well. We talked about this at the time and thought maybe because it was too traumatic.

sorry about your grandma and granny.

but someone always stays when we bury a family member. not because we wanted to see them be put in the ground, but because someone's casket had gotten stolen by the funeral home.

see we talked about it at the time too and I was thinking maybe they didn't want to risk dropping the casket... dropping it in the ground is one thing but when they do the mosoleum it's up like 12 ft i would guess.. and they use a lift to put it up there.. so imagine if they dropped that..

but i never knew they stole caskets.. how sick

Quoting pilot Jess:“ Hmm, I don't know for sure, my dad just died Sept. 24 and the pall bearers put the casket on the grave ... [snip!] ... that was all we were allowed to see as well. We talked about this at the time and thought maybe because it was too traumatic.”

sorry about your dad

Quoting sunkissed☼sweethear:“ I havent heard this!! It must be a new law within the past 2 years.... ?”

I don't know.. i dont' remember when i first heard about it .. and i'm not completely sure it's an actual law..
maybe i should call a random funeral home and ask??

Quoting ~*~Lydia Rene'~*~:“ sorry about your dad”

Thanks....

I'm sorry about both of your Grandmothers.

Quoting ~*~Lydia Rene'~*~:“ I don't know.. i dont' remember when i first heard about it .. and i'm not completely sure it's an actual law.. maybe i should call a random funeral home and ask??”

idk...

Are you still in OK? I'm sorry that you had another family loss...

Quoting sunkissed☼sweethear:“ idk... Are you still in OK? I'm sorry that you had another family loss...”

thanks, it sucks losing two people in a year.. the first one was my great grandmother but we are a very tight nit family so she was just like my grandma not some distant relative.. but since she was so much older we were more prepared for it i guess...
with my grandma i have to remind myself constantly that she's gone.. it is very surreal i guess.. she was young only 69..

but no, sadly i'm not still in OK.. i just saw your post about being in OK.. i wish i would have known.. we were there for a week.

Quoting ~*~Lydia Rene'~*~:“ thanks, it sucks losing two people in a year.. the first one was my great grandmother but we are a ... [snip!] ... no, sadly i'm not still in OK.. i just saw your post about being in OK.. i wish i would have known.. we were there for a week.”

It must be really hard. That has been my biggest fear, losing someone i care about while overseas.

Quoting sunkissed☼sweethear:“ It must be really hard. That has been my biggest fear, losing someone i care about while overseas.”

yes and then dealing not only with that stress but the stress of lost time, school, work.. then the money it costs..

our tickets were 1000 bucks..

but hopefully we'll be pcs'ing next fall to either tinker, altus, or that other one.. or one of the ones in texas.. i can not wait..

When we buried my grandmother in Arkansas in February of 2008, we were at the cemetery talking to family members that we never see because they live in Arkansas. I remember the cemetery people telling my mom & uncle that people had to start getting outta there so they could bury my gma.

Maybe it's a southern thing? I'm not too sure..

they do that in NY too... i think that it has to do with 2 things (that I can think of...)

1) people that arent ready to say goodbye sometimes get hysterical and jump on the casket as its being lowered
2) if for some reason there is an issue getting the casket in the ground, they dont want the family members to see it.

because lowering a casket into the ground is probably more emotional because its like the last time that person will be above ground.

a few years ago, i remember the hole they dug for a casket wasnt large enough and couldnt accommodate some of the ornaments on the outside of the casket and it got stuck going in while people were watching... this was in like 2003 or something but since then, i havent seen them lowering them into the ground.