Am I wrong?

My husband has had issues with having things on his phone that he shouldn’t. The first time I found it, he told me it would never happen again. The second time, once again he promised that it would never happen again and I gave him the chance for the sake of our son.

Last night I was looking at his phone (since he got a new one and I am all jealous) and I couldn’t help myself. I started looking at his browser history and found something that looked similar to what he had done before. I didn’t get a chance to actually open it and see what it was so I can’t be sure.

Anyway, I confronted him and he took his phone to “see” what I was talking about. Well, once he got it back he refused to let me see it again saying that I have no faith in him and that I never really trusted him. He said that he was doing it to “prove a point” and “stand up for himself.”

My question is, how would you act in this situation? I really am not going to delve deeper into the content in question (so please don’t ask) but if you had been lied to multiple times only to find yourself in a similar situation, how would you react? Am I wrong to feel hurt and betrayed? Or was I wrong to go through his phone and should have just trusted him?

He said I never trusted him and maybe I didn’t but the fact that he flat refused to show me his phone makes me feel like I really can never trust him.

my ex would do that. How old is he?

ya....he's full of shit.

Quoting Jenny the Wicked:“ My husband has had issues with having things on his phone that he shouldn’t. The first time I found it, ... [snip!] ... him and maybe I didn’t but the fact that he flat refused to show me his phone makes me feel like I really can never trust him.”

IMO, you were not wrong to check his phone since there have been issues in the past.
To me, him jumping on the defense is a red flag.
I hope that you are able to work things out.

Quoting Made by Matell Burlesque:“ my ex would do that. How old is he?”

28

Quoting Colleen13:“ IMO, you were not wrong to check his phone since there have been issues in the past. To me, him jumping on the defense is a red flag. I hope that you are able to work things out.”

That's what I kept telling him!

And he just kept saying he was proving a point. I told him that by doing what he was doing, it just made him seem guilty.

My husband throws out the "You dont ever trust me." like its my fault that I dont.
If he wasn't such a lying sack of shit, maybe I'd trust him more, hmmm?
The best thing to do to liars is call them out. Eventually they understand that you catch on. They'll still lie, liars never stop lying, but at least he'll know you arent stupid, ya know?

I guess it depends what was on his phone. Since you don't want to talk about that, I can't really say. I mean, yes I would be upset that you've given him chance after chance and he lied, etc. But, don't got through someones phone unless you're ready to see what's there.

The getting defensive threw up a flag though.

Quoting Jenny the Wicked:“ My husband has had issues with having things on his phone that he shouldn’t. The first time I found it, ... [snip!] ... him and maybe I didn’t but the fact that he flat refused to show me his phone makes me feel like I really can never trust him.”

Hard to trust someone who does the same bull crap every single time. Maybe if he didn't have anything on his phone like that, you could trust him more and not care what is on it.

He has to earn your trust.

Quoting Jenny the Wicked:“ 28”

This si why I won't date anyone under 35..lol He is full of shit! If you were in a mature relationship he would have no problem talking about it andf you looking into his phone even if you didn't have a reason to be looking.

Quoting Jenny the Wicked:“ My husband has had issues with having things on his phone that he shouldn’t. The first time I found it, ... [snip!] ... him and maybe I didn’t but the fact that he flat refused to show me his phone makes me feel like I really can never trust him.”

The whole "stand up for himself" is a load of shit, when they get busted they have a way of turning things around and making sure that we feel like weare the ones in the wrong and its crap. if you are married you should bee able to go into any email, phone, anything and not have to worry about finding anything or them even caring that you were looking, but at the same time you should have no problem with them accessing anything of yours. Been there.. done that.. And half the time it is some BS stuff that n the end is ot wortht hem losing a relationship over to get there 15 minutes of kicks a day.. I really wish men woud GROW THE F*** UP sometimes!

Quoting Barfy McVomitron:“ My husband throws out the "You dont ever trust me." like its my fault that I dont. If he wasn't such ... [snip!] ... understand that you catch on. They'll still lie, liars never stop lying, but at least he'll know you arent stupid, ya know?”

Exactly. He has lied to my face and then I catch him in it a minute later. I just don't understand. Either way you're going to piss me off. Just grow a pair and face the music.

Quoting Made by Matell Burlesque:“ This si why I won't date anyone under 35..lol He is full of shit! If you were in a mature relationship ... [snip!] ... he would have no problem talking about it andf you looking into his phone even if you didn't have a reason to be looking.”

I guess he forgot what he had been looking at during the day because he had no issues with me looking at it initially.

He's never wanted to grow up.

Honestly, sounds like a guilty man trying to make you feel guilty so that you won't question him anymore.

You felt the need to check his phone for a reason. Ive been there, done that. I have always had major trust issues. You were not wrong at all. He shouldnt have lied to you.