sooo my kids are rotten and I don't know how to fix it

My daughter has always been a momma's girl. I booted her dad out when she was 4 months old and went on with my life. I started college and married a great guy and he and I have a son together. My baby girl is almost 4 now and rotten as can be. I'm a sahm and full time student. When she wakes up in the morning, I go in there and wrap her up in her dora blanket and carry her to the living room. I wait until she wakes up fully, then go make her a cup to drink while she watched disney/nick jr. I then make her breakfast and we begin our day. The rest of the day is not so focused on her, bc I have her brother, too.. but she is my sweet girl... The problem is; she always wants me and not my husband. I always thought it was just because he was the stepdad. Don't get me wrong, I discipline more than he does... mainly bc I'm home more than he is. He is definitely a fun guy. ANYway.. now the same thing is going with my 16 month old son. I go in his room in the morning, wrap him up, make him a cup... Now they are fighting over me, and NOBODY wants daddy. When he comes home from work, they act like he's got some kind of deadly disease or something. They will fight and cry to keep away from him. My son will just shake his head and say "mm mm". He'll pull away and bury his face in me. I just KNEW he'd be daddy's boy. Is this how all children behave? Am I doing too much for them? How do I get them to like my husband more? I know it's not just him, because they don't want anyone when I'm around-- not even Nana, who REALLY spoils them.. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Maybe they know something you don't.

Is there any chance that he's doing something bad to them.....like molestation, abuse.....

Quoting Höllenengel:“ Maybe they know something you don't. Is there any chance that he's doing something bad to them.....like molestation, abuse.....”

oh God no.. of course, being a mother, that's the first thing I would think of. Honestly, he's never with them without me. I'm here ALL the time. My mom keeps them for a few hours while I go to school two days a week. The rest of the time, I'm here. My mom is the biggest softy on the planet. I have actually left the baby monitor on while he and the kids were in the playroom and I was cooking dinner or something.. and he plays and talks to them.. and my daughter is just really bitchy to him. He says it's because every time one of them gets in trouble, I run in to save the day... I don't know.. It's hard not to

Does your hubby try to spend time with them? like play with them? get down and interact with them?
Does he work long hours? so they dont see him much?

Quoting Lost in Sin City:“ Does your hubby try to spend time with them? like play with them? get down and interact with them? Does he work long hours? so they dont see him much?”

I keep telling him this is it.. he denies it of course.. I spend my entire days in the playroom with them-- reading and dancing and being crazy.. he comes home and wants his "sonny boy" to sit in his lap and watch tv.. He will occasionally go out and play with them, but he feels like it's more his job to provide.

Quoting Lost in Sin City:“ Does your hubby try to spend time with them? like play with them? get down and interact with them? Does he work long hours? so they dont see him much?”

then again.. he probably doesn't WANT to play with or do ANYthing with him.. because I'm constantly on his ass about how to do it my way.   I'm working on that.

Quoting KelsnJack'smom:“ I keep telling him this is it.. he denies it of course.. I spend my entire days in the playroom with ... [snip!] ... sit in his lap and watch tv.. He will occasionally go out and play with them, but he feels like it's more his job to provide.”

maybe thats part of it...
They know mommy as safety, fun, loving, nuturing..
While daddy just wants him to sit in lap and watch tv...
If he really wants his son , and step daughter to love and interact with him.. He as the adult needs to work on that...
Id hide the remote   
and MAKE him interact..  
When he gets home.. leave the kids, with him, and go to an "errand" ... who cares if you go drive around..
Eventually hes gotta learn to deal with the kids - even if they cry and whine and fight... ya know?

Quoting KelsnJack'smom:“ then again.. he probably doesn't WANT to play with or do ANYthing with him.. because I'm constantly on his ass about how to do it my way.   I'm working on that.”

I have to do that too.. But.. I step back , and remember we arent the same person.. he will do things his way - the dad way... and as long as noone is hurt or bleeding.. I keep my trap shut..

Quoting Lost in Sin City:“ maybe thats part of it... They know mommy as safety, fun, loving, nuturing.. While daddy just ... [snip!] ... if you go drive around.. Eventually hes gotta learn to deal with the kids - even if they cry and whine and fight... ya know?”

ha that's a good plan.. I'm just always worried about them being discomforted. I love my babies more than anything and have a magical tolerance for their screaming and fighting. He, however, does not. I'm terrified I'd come home and she's be in the corner and the baby would be crying for me. I know it's unlikely.. and I need to suck it up and get over it. It's just so hard! I just know I can't handle 3 on me at the same time. He loves them and he does provide for us. He does what he knows to do.. He's also become an amazing husband.. Bleh.. as much as I don't want to admit it, you're probably right.. If I'd just leave them with him once in a while, their relationship would probably develop. I don't even give them a chance.

Quoting Lost in Sin City:“ I have to do that too.. But.. I step back , and remember we arent the same person.. he will do things his way - the dad way... and as long as noone is hurt or bleeding.. I keep my trap shut..”

thx for your responses.. gotta get to bed   If you have any more good advice, please share.. I'll check back tomorrow!

Quoting KelsnJack'smom:“ ha that's a good plan.. I'm just always worried about them being discomforted. I love my babies more ... [snip!] ... If I'd just leave them with him once in a while, their relationship would probably develop. I don't even give them a chance.”

I realized that when Monster was like 9 months old..I realized hes never gonna get use to daddy if I dont give him the chance....
Your hubby will learn to deal and find methods that work for him..he will also find different ways to bond with the kids..
You gotta give him that chance tho!  
And, from the sounds of it.. if they are both on you always.. You could use a lil mommy time !!! 

Quoting KelsnJack'smom:“ thx for your responses.. gotta get to bed   If you have any more good advice, please share.. I'll check back tomorrow!”

You are welcome. Hope I helped some!
Goodnight!

Quoting KelsnJack'smom:“ My daughter has always been a momma's girl. I booted her dad out when she was 4 months old and went on ... [snip!] ... they don't want anyone when I'm around-- not even Nana, who REALLY spoils them.. Any advice would be greatly appreciated”

Sometimes kids go through a period of prefering onee parent over another.I did with my mom when I was 3/4,my little sis did with my dad,pretty much all her early years from 6 to 13.
Maybe dad could spend more time with them,like take a day off of work and just hang out while you go see a movie or something?