question for ladies who have partners in the military

my boi is going to join the army. he's talked about it in an offhand kinda way for years but i never thought he'd do it.   he's just really sick of being a labourer. and sitting round with his loosermates getting stoned. its like he's finally grown up @ 21. ive been waiting for this day but i never thought it would come, now that it has, im not sure i like it. well i like that he finally wants a career, and wants to be a better provider forhis familybut im not sure i want him to join the military. i can see the advantages, free training - he wants to be an engineer, healthcare etc but i cant see past the fact that the military would take him away from me. i'd miss him and i'd hate being on my own. so i was just wondering, anyladies who have partners in the military..

did you want them to join?
what was it like being by yourself?
did you find your relationship grew stronger/fell apart/stayed the same?
was it worth it?

I knew my husband was going in from the day i met him. there was never a doubt. if i wanted to date him/marry him then that was a part of the bargain.

It blows being alone. But you can get through it.

our relationship got stronger, but then again our lives were changing, as we got married made it through the first year and had both of our kids. so i don't think that the air force affected it at all.

is it worth it? sure. it gives my family a very stable life, and I am proud of him for that and for serving.

Well we were seperated when he decided to join, but we got back together shortly there after.

I've gotten used to him not physically being here. We've been back together 2.5 years and I've seen him 8 months out of that. It's not like that for everyone so don't panic, he just has an MOS (job) that deploys a lot.

We grow stronger through the deployments, but once he is home it takes a while to get back into the swing of things and we have our moments where we want to throw in the towel.

It's completely worth it! I'm so proud of what he's doing and I've made some friends that I will have for the rest of my life. There are times that I would like to ask the Army what the hell they are thinking but for the most part I love the lifestyle.

Quoting Annika + Keita:“ my boi is going to join the army. he's talked about it in an offhand kinda way for years but i never ... [snip!] ... what was it like being by yourself? did you find your relationship grew stronger/fell apart/stayed the same? was it worth it?”

We're both in the military, and I love it.

Yes its worth it.

Im actually the one in but I thought Id answer anyways

did you want them to join?I didnt really want to join because I loved the military and all that jazz but I did want to join because it was a last resort and we had nothing else

what was it like being by yourself?Being away was the hardest part but I think that knowing I had to be strong for my family was my biggestmotivation

did you find your relationship grew stronger/fell apart/stayed the same?I think itdefinitelygot stronger

was it worth it? Totally. At times, I just want to get out because it sucks but when you look at the overall picture, its better than most jobs out there and with no major training

did you want them to join? no, but its not my choice. Its his life and his career. He wanted to support the family, and because i love him, i support his choice.
what was it like being by yourself? it sucks because i miss him, but at the same time i am very proud of him.
did you find your relationship grew stronger/fell apart/stayed the same? its pretty much stayed the same, but it has got a bit stronger. just being away makes him more romantic and everything.. just willing to help more and appreciate things more.
was it worth it? well, idk. if he is happy and the family is stable, then yea,i guess so.

did you want them to join? --No, I didn't. but it wasn't my choice. I was there for support either way.

what was it like being by yourself? I was with my friends who helped me threw it. It was very tough at first, but it got easier.

did you find your relationship grew stronger/fell apart/stayed the same? Ours def grew from him being in the Marines. We were long distance relate for two years straight. Living together for one.

was it worth it? To me, it's worth it. He has a study job, can support our family, && he is really making a good person out of himself. It's life changing for some people.


it's tough being alone, when in basic training/boot camp, on duty, deployed.. It is hard having a SO in the military, but it's a good experience to go through. IMO.

Answers:

did you want them to join? I didn't know Jozef before he joined.. so can't answer that one..

what was it like being by yourself? I've been by myself for deployments & such.. and you do get lonely at times.. but you need to keep yourself busy & the welcome home is awesome & makes it all worth it! Boot Camp won't be like any deployment though... Deployments are rougher & more stressful (not gonna lie)

did you find your relationship grew stronger/fell apart/stayed the same? We've grown stronger after each time he's been away/deployed..

was it worth it? Yep! It's worth every tear, sleepless nights, 4am phone calls for 2mins... all the letters, moving across the world with him... it's all worth it!!   In reality, it's what YOU make of it.. If you want it to be a positive experience, then it will be! But if you're negative & pessimistic, then you honestly won't have the best time!

he was in before we met
it sucks being alone my hubby is only home for about 6 months at a time and the time he is home hes training half of that time we have been together for 3 yrs and only been physically together for 18 months if that

is it worth it yes he has a steady job i can be a SAHM heatlh care you can get base housing so u dont have to worry about rent
weve had our ups and downs but i think its made us stronger were going thru our 2nd deployment his 3rd right now and its very hard when ur baby wonders why daddys not home tonight

for the people who answered because they are in the military are both parents allowed to join? i thought there was some rule so the children didnt get left parentless. it was originally my idea after i left school to join the army and to be honest i think im better suited to it than the bf. lol.  but then i had a gap year & baby & gave up everything. and now it's like he's stealing my idea (wouldnt wanna tell him that though & spoil his new enthusiasm). would i be able to join after he was settled in and trained? in like, five years or so?

Quoting Praying for his safe retu:“ he was in before we met it sucks being alone my hubby is only home for about 6 months at a time and the ... [snip!] ... were going thru our 2nd deployment his 3rd right now and its very hard when ur baby wonders why daddys not home tonight”

Her boyfriend wont be able to get a base house unless he has joint or full or hes married to her, she can't get tricare unless shes married
the only one who will benefit other the her baby daddy will be their LO.

Quoting Annika + Keita:“ for the people who answered because they are in the military are both parents allowed to join? i thought ... [snip!] ... though & spoil his new enthusiasm). would i be able to join after he was settled in and trained? in like, five years or so?”

you can if you're married.

I'm going into the Army (I'm currently in the AF reserves) all I need is a family care plan and a dependent waiver.

If you both join at the same time.. then yes, someone needs the rights to your children other than ya'll.. Rules have been a changin'!!! You can't both be deployed & leave your child with someone who just has "guardianship" they need the child's full rights. Same situation goes for Single Moms wanting to join..

This all just came from DH's mouth.. lol

thanks for the answers. im starting to think its a good idea, and an adventure and even if it doesnt work out he can leave, right

Quoting Annika + Keita:“ thanks for the answers. im starting to think its a good idea, and an adventure and even if it doesnt work out he can leave, right”

He should shop around with branches.