I dont know what to do.

This will probably be very long... But please read it because i need suggestions.
Also i will be deleting so please do NOT quote me.

My boyfriend has had these friends for over 15yrs. The guy is very controlling and gets pissed when my SO can't do something like go to a concert or if we wont go trick or treating with him.
Last night we said we wasnt gonna go trick or treating with them & his friend flipped the fuck out.

They have never liked any of my SO's girlfriends they have always found something about them he didnt like.
His friend hates me because my SO can't go out and party and stuff like he used to be able to do. His friend also has a family but his girlfriend lets him go party his ass of ect ect.
I wont let my SO do that because i want to be a REAL family. but anyways.

His friend has caused so many problems in our relationship that im to the point where i cant stand him and i hate when my SO goes over there.
His friend talks shit about me and my SO just sits there and when i ask him why he doesnt stand up for me he says "how can i when the shit is true?"

Right now we are in a huge fight over them. Last night i decided i didnt want ot go trick or treating with his friend i wanted to do it as a family just him me and our daughter.
His friend got pissed hung up on him & then when we ran into them and his friend compltely ignored him.

Honestly i wish his friend would just fall off the face of the earth.
But anytime i say one bad thing about them my SO goes nuts and says that he is done with me and starts packing his shit & trying to leave.

I love my SO so much.. but im starting to think his friends mean more to him than I do.
His has other friends that i just love and i love going over there and hanging out and i feel comfortable over there.
But when it comes to this friend... anytime my SO asks me to go over there i always refuse. I hate him he goes over there. I can't even stand when he calls.

I really do hate him. I know if i was to make him choose between me & his friends i would lose miserably. Im just so sick of them i cant see straight.

Ive tried keeping my cool & not saying anything about them. But i can only do that for so long.
I dont wanna lose my SO over them. But i also know things cannot keep going like this.

What do I do?

Sorry for typo's & stuff im crying & im shaking really bad.

I say FUCK ALL MEN./ ashdfgggg894ryhafgj

Sounds like your SO is his friends bitch. If he wants to be with his friend than maybe it will take seeing what he is losing to realize it. His friend sounds like an ass and I would be a bitch back to him.

Sorry, wish I had better advice!

Ew, screw that.

Sounds like high school all over again and I wouldn't deal with that. He needs to stand up for you, what kind of a man sits there and lets someone talk down about his SO? How pathetic. I wouldn't deal with it. Tell him he needs to grow up.

I think your SO needs to choose who is more important in his life!

If he chooses not to understand and give you more time, then its time for him to go! I mean, he doesnt need to let go of them completly but he needs to understand that YOU and the children you created together are his life now.

There comes a point in ones life when they must grow up. Some men take longer than others and some never grow up at all.

You need to tell him, its going to be like this OR - c-ya later!

if he would choose his friends over you then you don't need to be with him at all. his wife and child should be first priority and if it's not... fuuuuck that

That's the same thing my sister went through, except she doesn't have a baby.
Honestly, if I were you I'd take my child and leave and see how he feels about that, you can't make him choose, because in that situation you'd probably lose, but it's not right for him to not defend you when that dude talks smack, that's disrespectful to you truth or not..

Quoting LUV333:“ if he would choose his friends over you then you don't need to be with him at all. his wife and child should be first priority and if it's not... fuuuuck that”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

His friend sounds like a douche...I hate him for you!! But it's not all his fault. Your SO needs to stand up to him and not let him disrespect you like that. Regardless if it's true or not. If you think he will choose his friend over you "his partner and mother of his child" then there is a problem. I would never put up with that and take a back seat to his friend. You need to tell him how you feel and demand respect, if not get your stuff and leave his ass

I wouldn't let my SO treat me like that.
Aparently he's thinking these things about you to if he doesn't stand up for you when his friend talks shit.

Basically if i were in this situation i'd say fuck it. It to me sounds like he takes his relationship with this friend more seriously than your relationship together.

I would not stand for that. I'd leave....... seriously. BUT that's just me. I understand you love him and want to make it work.. but no man should treat you like that. Family comes first over friends,work, parties, bars, etc.

& if he always threatens to leave when you say one little thing about his douche bag friend, that's abuse.. mental abuse. He's playing games with you.. he's trying to hurt you into not talking crap about his friends instead of siting you down and talking it over he takes the more drastic approach and threatens to leave.   coward..

He says these friends have been his family for 15yrs.
And when I tell him he has his own family now he is like
"well i cannot just drop them like that they have been here for me"

I try to talk calmly about it with him. But it always turns into a HUGE fight.
Im at such a loss.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY hate his friend.

Quoting Cartman:“ Ew, screw that. Sounds like high school all over again and I wouldn't deal with that. He needs to ... [snip!] ... a man sits there and lets someone talk down about his SO? How pathetic. I wouldn't deal with it. Tell him he needs to grow up.”

 
My sister was in that same situation, it's sad.

What kind of "relationship" do you two have that a the drop of a dime he's ready to pack his things and go because what you say is true too! Or the fact that he doesn' defend you to his butt hole friend...who cares if it's true or not.

He's a dick...you need to reasses why you're holding onto him!

Let him leave and hope he realizes whats important. If he doesnt, you can find someone who will have their priorities straight

I think the problem is with your SO, not with his friends.