re: Introduce Yourself....

Hi everybody my name is Fee, will be married five years 12 Jan 2013, before i tell my story just wanted to say congrates to you girls who's finally pregnant and to those still struggling be patient and strong.
i was struggling to fall pregnant for two years till it finally happened, the best time of my life until i was almost four months pregnant and had a miscarage. My world felt like it was over and slowly went into depression. I thank god that i have a wonderful family that stood by me every step of the way and a husband that truely loves me dearly.
After a year and a half i found out i was pregnant again i was over joyed but
tried not to get too excited and was very careful in everything i did. When i reached 6mnths i started bleeding and was rushed to ER and the doctor did ultrasound and said nothing to worry about baby still fine.
My son Taahir was born 3 June 2011. I felt so blessed that God finally gave me a baby.
My son turned 9mnths and noticed something really weired he couldn't sit up on his own and couldn't make double letter sounds like mummu or dadda. I decided to take him to see a specialist an they told me he has hypertonia in his bottom half of his body. My first thought was how do we solve this problem and the specialist told me speech therapy and physio. I was not 100% happy with the answer so i went for a second opinion and they diagnosed my son with cerebral palsy, was totally devastated and they told me he won't beable to walk or communicate with me.
I'm confused and scared is there anybody thats going through something similar like this that can give me advice..??

Hello my name is Amy. I am new to this forum but I lost my daughter 18 months ago. She died the day after she was born due to complication during my pregnancy that could have been prevented. My doctor was negligent in tell me there was an issue with my amniotic sac and that my daughter was in in distress. I was involved in a same sex relationship with a woman for 6 years. I had been trying to get pregnant through artificial insemination for 3 years till finally one of the times stuck. I was over joyed when I found out I was pregnant and so was my partner. We had wanted to start a family for several years and it was all finally starting to fall into place. It was sort of a rough pregnancy for me as I had to hide my pregnancy from my family as we had just received news that my father was diagnosed with cancer and there was too much tension in my family for me to drop this on them as well. I wore a lot of big clothes but it became a little easier once winter came around and I was able to bulk up with the clothes. Things between my partner and I were not going well too. She had began to spend more time with another woman she was seeing and this woman had recently received her visa to come to the US from Mexico. As my due date got closer, things became a lot more tense between us and I began to suspect that the other woman my partner was seeing was pregnant as well in an attempt to keep her. Well, on January 17, 2011, my water broke at around 230 in the morning. Not knowing what to do I drove myself to the nearest hospital that would accept patients with no insurance which was a county hospital. I attempted to contact my partner and she did not answer her phone. The doctor looked me over an and he was a NICU specialist. They made every attempt to locate my primary OB and they could not contact him at all not even on his emergency line. They gave me some Pitocin to speed up my labor and before you know it around 530 am, I was ready to deliver. I went into the delivery room, alone and scared. The nurses were a big help as was the doctor. When she came out, she was all blue and the cord was wrapped around her neck and she wasn't crying. I knew that it was not a good sign. They immediately took her away to the NICU and I did not even get to hold her. I went back to a room and was there all alone. Getting updates every half hour about my baby. I know the nurses were getting frustrated with me asking all the time but they knew what the situation was and were happy to do what they could. I went into see her after a few hours. When I went into see her, the doctor explained to me that she had been in distress for a while because there was a hole in my amniotic sac and I was losing fluid slowly through the hole. He asked me if I noticed any fluid coming out, I said I noticed that I thought I had urinated in my pants a few times but was told by the doctor that towards the end of the pregnancy that was normal. Come to find out my doctor knew there was something wrong and never told me. Being that I needed to use Medicaid, he was one of the only doctors around that would accept it and he had so many patients and a lot of the time, I would have an appointment at 9 am and would not leave there till 4 in the afternoon just waiting to be seen. The specialist told that had I gone to them weeks before he would have helped me. He told me they gave her some medication to help her and she was on a ventilator, if she did not respond to the medication within 24 hours, she was not going to make it. I prayed and prayed. I was discharged the next morning, I payed some young kid to go and get my car out of the garage and pretend to pick me up. I dropped him off at the corner and went home to shower and change and charge my phone. The whole time I was at the hospital, I could not call anyone because my phone had died and I did not bring anything with me. I could not remember any of my friends numbers by heart so I could not call anyone. I charged my phone, and immediately text my partner. She was upset at me for not getting in contact with her sooner. I told her that I had called her twice and she still continued to argue with me about that. Instead of being supportive and saying I'll be right down, she argued with me and said she wanted to see the baby. I told they would not allow her being that she was not an immediate family member and that she was in the NICU. That made her even more angry. I went back to the hospital, because they called me in. The doctor stated that it had been more than 24 hours and things did not look like they were going to change. I had to make a decision as to whether to leave her like that or let her go. He told me it would be better to let her go as she was not even breathing on her own. I decided to let her go. I held her and they let me use my cell phone to call my partner. I had her on the phone as I held my daughter and told her that I wanted out daughter to hear her voice before I let her go. She was so upset still telling me that she wanted to see her. I sent her a picture of her, as they did not let me take but one since I had to respect the privacy of the other babies and parents in there. But, it wasn't enough. She hung up on me and I held my daughter for a while longer and then told them to unplug her. As they did, her little heart took its last beat and that was it. I held her for a little while longer in a curtained off area and then gave her to the nurse. The doctor told me that they would hold her body for me and that a full autopsy would be done. I called my friends and a few of them came to help me. I received some text messages and phone calls. But the one person that I wanted to be there was not. I went home and wanted to tell my parents but, they were not home and I did not want to stay home by myself. I told them the next day and after the autopsy had her body cremated and I bought the urn that sits in my room now. They were of course very upset with me as I should have told them sooner. The autopsy showed that the amniotic sac had a hole and the fluid was leaking out which made it difficult for her to receive anything from me and cause discomfort. There were two other women and I who took the doctor to court as these other women had the same thing happen to them. The doctor ended up recently getting his license revoked and could no longer practice OB/GYN here in this state. That still doesn't bring my daughter back but at least he cannot do that to anyone else. Her name was Mia Renee, she was someone I had been waiting for, for a long, long time. I have never wanted anything more than to become a mother and it was taken away from me. I find comfort in the belief that God had a special plan for my angel and that he did not want to put her in the middle of the situation that was going on between my ex partner and I. My partner ended up leaving me after she died and shacking up with the other woman from Mexico as it turns out my intuition was right and she did get pregnant. They now live together and are raising her baby. I felt like I lost my whole life. It's taken me 18 months to even attempt to try to get some kind of a life back. I miss my little girl every day but, with God's grace I will have another baby soon. My body is okay and I am able to still have children. I just pray that God will grant me a little angel soon and that my little angel will always watch over me and never be forgotten.

Hello My name is Victoria. I live in Tennessee with my husband. My children are named Mavrick who is 6, Malachi who is 4, Memphis who is 2 and Madex who recently passed at 4 months old. I have had miscarriages, but no longer included them.. I guess I don't include them anymore because I miss my son. And it is extremely hard to deal with the pain. With my miscarriages I was depressed but when I got pregnant again the pain seemed to just disappear. Now that I lost my little boy I know nothing can replace the pain. Nothing can make me feel whole again. I know this was short, but all the pain is still so fresh. I will edit this post later on.


In Memory of Madex (video)
http://youtu.be/gUOQ-nhW3ck

Madex's Story (blog about Madex)
http://inmemoryofmadex.blogspot.com/2012/07/tears-will-never-bring-you-back.html

Someone please help me. I had a miscarriage today and I'm falling apart. I can't breathe.

My name is Chantel i'm 29 and me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for 3 years. I have had 5 miscarriages my last one was June 17, 2011. That one was the hardest as I had to have a d&c done. I haven't been able to get pregnant since and my periods haven't been the same since. Starting to think its just not meant to happen for me.

Quoting Kim~lovinmygirls♥:" *copied from my post in the other intro thread* My name is Kim, im 21 and so is my fiance Evan and we ... [snip!] ... to none, you can live off one perfect lung, but two imperfect lungs is a death sentence(as the jerky 1st specialst told us)**"

my name is Brianna and my son was born with CDH also. we didn't find out until he had an xray when he was less than an hour old. we tried everything possible to help him survive but he wasn't responding to any of the treatments. he had a severe bleeding problem, brain damage, they had him on morphine and adavan, they informed us the day after he was born that he wouldn't last through that night so we decided to take him off life support and let him ease into it. it was one of the hardest decisions we have ever had to make but we did it because it was what was best for him.

Hello my name is Denise, and I am 28 years old. I have 2 boys age 4 & 2 1/2. I have had some heart breaking fertility issues with my husband. Our 1st pregnancy, @ 12wks I found out I had a molar pregnancy & had to be monitored for a year for cancer, etc. Well @ 11months we became pregnant with our oldest, Rylan. At 39wks we got induced & God was watching over us then, he was born emergency c section, blue & not breathing. He was wrapped in his cord 6 times. Thankfully when his heart dropped to 60- they got him out asap. Then we became pregnant 10 months later & our son Hunter was born no complications. Well when Hunter was 9months old we became pregnant by accident & miscarried at 10wks, possible partial molar so I had d&c. Then we began trying & 10months later we became pregnant again, but day after we saw heartbeat @ 6.5wks I woke up having a natural miscarriage. then 3 months later we became pregnant again- thrilled! Went every 2 wks to confirm baby looked good. I bled a little at 9wks & stopped working right after- I didnt want to risk anything. This pregnancy was harder then with my sons, I was sick all day long, I had horrible heartburn, but HE was growing great & that's all that matters.
August 28,2012 @ 29wks I went to er to make sure I didnt have an infection in lungs. While their they sent me to get monitored @ LD & while there i had PLACENTA ABRUPTION. the "silent" one, & it was complete. Do to medical negligence, my son suffered. They delivered my beautiful son, Shayne at 8:34pm after 40mins of us being in distress & 22mins after they brought me in for c section. I was alone, my husband got there just as they were delivering our son. He opened his eyes, cried & squirmed. They kicked my husband out when they saw the blood in the uterus. Neither of us heard his cries, or saw him awake, & 10 mins after he was born they admitted medicine to help get his heartrate up, but it was too late- @ 9:06pm God took our son, Shayne Reed home & gave him wings. Having a very challenging time accepting what has happened, I should be 32wks prego right now, instead Im empty! Completely empty. When I left the hospital I left without my son, I left with an angel box. Instead of having his welcoming shower, we our having his memorial service. Instead of finishing his nursery, we are taking everything down. Its just so wrong! & what's even more upsetting, is that this COULD have been prevented. If they would have done c section as soon as he crashed into the 80's, instead of 40mins after, he wouldn;t have lost that much oxygen. If they administered the meds right after he was born, he might have lived longer or forever.... BUT we will never no his outcome if we would have had a different medical team help us. I would really like if any mom's who have suffered, would be willing to message me, talk, I need it, I feel so alone. My husband is my only support & our 2 boys, but I need someone who, as a mother, who's bodies carried their baby can relate to the amount of guilt & pain I have. Thank you


RIP to our Angel baby; Shayne Reed Morris born @ 29wks weighing 2lbs 2oz, 14.5" long @ 8:34pm & gained his wings @ 9:06pm.

Hi My name is Katy Shirah. My husband & I have been married for 2 yrs & we've had 2 MC & 1 recent infant death. Our first MC was at 12wks Oct. of 2009, our second was @ 5wks Dec. of 2011. But today, I want to tell Jaxon's story. He passed away almost 3 hrs after delivery. Here's his story.

Jaxon Kerry Shirah's Story

My pregnancy was AMAZING. Up until 21w6d along. I started having severe lower abdominal pain & bleeding @ 12 oclk Monday Sept 3rd 2012. We headed straight to the hospital. They found out that my water bag was bulging and I was 2cm dilated, in preterm labor @ 22 wks along. They wanted me to lay with my bed elevated feet up, head down. They asked my how much I wanted my bed elevated I told them I don't know. So they put it up some (not enough) but I ended up getting my husband to elevate it more because I didn't feel it was up enough. I sat in pain for ever it felt like. They never offered the medication to stop the labor. They never offered the steroid inj to help my babies lungs. On Sept 6th, 2012 @ ab 630am I started having very intense contractions they came in and examined me. Told me I was fully dilated. I was never taken out of my rm. I delivered my baby in the rm I had been in for 3 days visitors in and out the whole time. The aid actually spilt urine on the flr & just threw a towel over it. It wasn't cleaned up until the night after I delivered him. The L&D was full thats why she couldn't take me there. My Dr. Asked me if I wanted her to examine me(I don't frkn know!? Should you examine me??) then she asked if I wanted to push... Once again I don't know do I need to push?? Do I need to get him out?! I don't know & I didn't feel like those should of been questions. I felt as though she should of been " I need to examine you or you need to push...." After I delivered him @ 853am there wasn't even scissors in the rm the nurse was running around for ab a min or 2 looking for scissors... My husband said that when he came out his eyes were open and he was moving. He had a heartbeat & he was trying to breathe. The neonatal dr took him for ab 15sec & handed him back to me. Said he was too small.... She didn't weigh him! & the day before they told me he was overweight. They never turned the warmer on... They never took him out of my room. She said there was a 0% survival rate for babies before 23wks... I don't believe that! & I'm not saying my baby would of made it by any means BUTTTT I feel they didn't give him a chance... They said it was unethical... What's unethical?! My heart hurts & I'll never understand. We laid our sweet baby down on Sept 11th, 2012 @ 330pm. & no one should EVER have to do this... Thank you for reading my story! All the support or kind words are more than appreciate it. We need all the support we can get right now.

Quoting kshirah:" Hi My name is Katy Shirah. My husband & I have been married for 2 yrs & we've had 2 MC & 1 recent infant ... [snip!] ... for reading my story! All the support or kind words are more than appreciate it. We need all the support we can get right now."

im sooo sorry u and ur family are going through this horrible painfull time.im know only to well the pain u are feeling as i too have 2 angel babies.the hospital should be held responcible for ur situation from what i understand from ur story is they never even bothered to try and help u or ur baby.they dont know what could have happened if i was u i would investicate the situation further the hospital and staff sound to me to be atleast particaly responcible and u deserve alot of answers.if u ever need to talk just mesage me my thoughts and prayer are with u and ur family at this difficult and painfull time xxx

Quoting kshirah:" Hi My name is Katy Shirah. My husband & I have been married for 2 yrs & we've had 2 MC & 1 recent infant ... [snip!] ... for reading my story! All the support or kind words are more than appreciate it. We need all the support we can get right now."

that is awful! i am so so sorry for your loss!
i think i would honestly sue them for negligence though, they didnt try to prevent labor or to help the baby at all. that can not be legal!

Quoting kshirah:" Hi My name is Katy Shirah. My husband & I have been married for 2 yrs & we've had 2 MC & 1 recent infant ... [snip!] ... for reading my story! All the support or kind words are more than appreciate it. We need all the support we can get right now."

My heart breaks for you. I can not even imagine! I did do some research on this because we thought we were having a miscarriage @ 17 weeks. They would not do anything for us. Depending on the State and what hospital, they will not even attempt to save a baby until it is so many weeks. This is total bull crap to me. Who are they to decide? They are not God. They are a hospital and their job is to do everything they can to save a life.

<blockquote><b>Quoting abouttime momma:</b>" My heart breaks for you. I can not even imagine! I did do some research on this because we thought we ... [snip!] ... to me. Who are they to decide? They are not God. They are a hospital and their job is to do everything they can to save a life."</blockquote>




Exactly... I was 22 wks when I delievered & they didn't do anything no warmer/ no oxygen. Nothingggg

Quoting kshirah:" Hi My name is Katy Shirah. My husband & I have been married for 2 yrs & we've had 2 MC & 1 recent infant ... [snip!] ... for reading my story! All the support or kind words are more than appreciate it. We need all the support we can get right now."

I am so very sorry that you have to go through this I just lost my son at 29wks 19 days ago. I think you need to look into medical negligence; we are doing it as well. We put our children & our lives into the medical staff hands, & its up to them to do everything they can, to protect death!!!! If you need to talk please feel free to message me on here- I can send u my personal email as well, from one newly grieving mother to another Im sure we can both relate & vent to one another. Hold your head high & try staying strong.

Hello... My name is Jenny. I was a mommy-to-be at 11wks 2 days when I woke up this morning. I had an ultrasound done this morning because I went to the ER last night with some bleeding and pain. The ultrasound showed there was no longer a heartbeat and our baby has expired. So, when I wake up tomorrow morning, I will someone who lost a child.

I had a blighted ovum about 15 yrs ago, but I didn't even know I was pregnant until it passed through. In 2005, I was diagnosed with PCOS and told that I would not be able to conceive w/out serious fertility help and even then it wasn't a guarantee.

When I met my husband, he said he loved me no matter what and we would adopt as many kids as we wanted. When we found out we were pregnant in July, we were floored! We wanted this baby and loved this baby with all of our hearts. We are devastated and numb.

I am going in tomorrow morning to talk to the doctor about what we should do next (according to the ER doc, my cervix is still closed, even though there's bleeding & pain). I'm not sure if we should wait until the baby passes through naturally or have the d&c.... part of me knows it would be less painful (physically) to have the d&c, but I can't get over how much it feels like an abortion (though, I've never had one).

I'm just really confused and hurt and angry and sad and depressed.... I've never been through anything like this --- I feel sadness & guilt for my husband, our moms & his stepdad (first grandchild in our families) --- I feel like a failure and like I let everyone down. Even though I KNOW it isn't my fault, that I did nothing wrong and there wasn't anything I could do differently. I just feel more sorry for them all right now. I am hopeful for the future, but I'm afraid about what's to come in the next few days  

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