re: Introduce Yourself....
posted 1st Oct
I am Rebekah and my husband is Billy. We have been married since Jan 07. In march of 07 i was bleeding irregularly but i felt it was normal because i have always been irregular. I took 3 preg tests and 2 had slight +. So i made an appt with my obgyn and then cancelled after bleeding again. i didnt know what was wrong because i bled for a week but 2 days were the most excruciating pain ever. by the time i got to the dr i had already miscarried and they couldnt tell if i was pregnant but i know i was. she sent me for tests and found i have PCOS. I then stopped seeing this dr as i didnt feel she was right for me. In Dec.07 i felt i was pregnant again and my hubby took good care of me. Then one night is tarted bleeding again. I still wasnt for sure if i was prego so i didnt think much of it. The next morning came the pain again. We went to the hospital this time. the lady in the US room and the ER dr said they didnt see that i was prego but they did say my uterin lining was thin ( which i didnt know what it meant.) at the same time i had many people around me having babies which totally sucked. In March08 i started seeing my friends obgyn. He put me on the pill and said come back and i was ready to have a baby. well a mth and a half later i came back but because my BC was havin side effects. but in the midst of it i was changing jobs so no insurance meant no new BC. So we said we would try in July. We did and it took. For the 1st time i actually had + signs on 3 tests. I WAS PREGO!!! it took the dr's office 3 weeks to get me in even though they knew i was high risk. i went in 3 days before my appt. because i had a UTI and needed meds.The nurse did my PAP and it hurt so bad. She said my dates were off so they would have to do an US and i said ok. They did it the next day and we saw our baby oh how sweet and amazing it was. the following day i had my appt. the dr said the FHB was only 87 and that my progeterone was a little low but that it wasnt to major. so i went home did research and what i found out was 87 was low but not to bad so i didnt worry much. He scheduled an US again for a wk later to see my progress. This time no smiles just a fast in and out. I knew something was wrong but billy kept saying maybe she was just in a rush. a lady i had never met sat us down and said there was no FHB and that we should choose by the next day to go natural or have a D&C. we went in and i almost had an anxiety attack the next day being around prego women. We chose D&C. so that whole weekend i lived with my baby in me andthen monday he was gone. We buried him on september 22 2008. we feel he wouldve been a boy so we named him Kevin Blade. i was only 7 weeks. Now we have started the process of infertility testing to see whats wrong and what to fix. so hopefully this time next year we will have a baby maybe even two.
I have 3 angel babies & live in Nevada
26 postsposted 1st Oct
I wanted to give everyone the opportunity to check out this site http://babiesinthesky.ning.com its for all angel parents.
quoteI have 2 kids & live in Kissimmee, Florida
291 postsposted 8th Oct
Well, here's my story...On June 5, 2008 I decided after a week of what I thought was a stomach virus to do a pregnancy test, I never expected it to be positive...my doctors had told me pregnancy was a near impossibility. To my shock and elation that lil stick blinked "pregnant" and I literally jumped for joy.
I told the baby's father the news and was horrified to hear his reaction, he wasn't "finacially or physically ready for another child" My heart sank, but I decided I could do this on my own! June 6, 2008 I went to my primary care physican and had bloodwork to confirm the pregnancy. A week later I saw my OB and laughed at him, saying "boy you were wrong!"
July 2, 2008 I had the chance to see my angel for the first time, it was essentially the most amazing moments of my life, yet in the back of my head I was waiting for the other shoe to drop...it couldn't all be this easy. The ultrasound technician was in a hurry and didn't even let me get the chance to hear the baby's heartbeat, though I got to see it at 166 bpm.
Friday, July 18, 2008 my joy turned to sheer panic when I started spotting. I went to the ER and was told that they couldn't find a heartbeat, but "the baby was moving" on ultrasound. The following Monday I went in to see my OB, whose nurse said she heard a heartbeat by doppler...but it was so slow I knew it was my own. The OB refused to do an ultrasound because the heartbeat had been heard.
On July 28, 2008 I began bleeding again this time heavier than before again I went to the ER this time, the one where my OB was on staff, and the ER doc informed me that my HcG levels had dropped, and that "this was a miscarriage." My doctor gave me the option of having a D&C right away or letting my body do it naturally, but really stressed the natural method so I obeyed...never again!
On July 30th I began severely hemmoraging, but I was determined not to go to the hospital until I had passed the baby because I emotionally and psychologically needed the baby to hold even if just for a moment, then to have to bury with my grandmother. An hour later I passed my tiny bundle of joy although not much to look at I could see all of its limbs, eyes, ears, nose...it was perfect in my eyes. I wrapped it's tiny body up in a blanket and stuck it in the freezer so it would not deteriorate until I got back from the hospital.
I was bleeding so bad until I got to the hospital that the doctor was going to come in and do an D&C at 1 am! However, he decided to try Methergine instead. It stopped the bleeding (I was bleeding through chux not pads!). I continued to bleed in the following weeks and was put on 10 days of Methergine, to no avail.
Finally, on August 29, 2008 a month after the M/C the doctor did a D&C, as well as a left ovarian cyctectomy (I developed a 5 mm cyst in one week between ultrasounds and was tripled over in pain)
Today is October 8, 2008, and I finally got AF to visit again, I've never been so happy or relieved to see her...at least I know when I'm ready I can try again!
quoteI told the baby's father the news and was horrified to hear his reaction, he wasn't "finacially or physically ready for another child" My heart sank, but I decided I could do this on my own! June 6, 2008 I went to my primary care physican and had bloodwork to confirm the pregnancy. A week later I saw my OB and laughed at him, saying "boy you were wrong!"
July 2, 2008 I had the chance to see my angel for the first time, it was essentially the most amazing moments of my life, yet in the back of my head I was waiting for the other shoe to drop...it couldn't all be this easy. The ultrasound technician was in a hurry and didn't even let me get the chance to hear the baby's heartbeat, though I got to see it at 166 bpm.
Friday, July 18, 2008 my joy turned to sheer panic when I started spotting. I went to the ER and was told that they couldn't find a heartbeat, but "the baby was moving" on ultrasound. The following Monday I went in to see my OB, whose nurse said she heard a heartbeat by doppler...but it was so slow I knew it was my own. The OB refused to do an ultrasound because the heartbeat had been heard.
On July 28, 2008 I began bleeding again this time heavier than before again I went to the ER this time, the one where my OB was on staff, and the ER doc informed me that my HcG levels had dropped, and that "this was a miscarriage." My doctor gave me the option of having a D&C right away or letting my body do it naturally, but really stressed the natural method so I obeyed...never again!
On July 30th I began severely hemmoraging, but I was determined not to go to the hospital until I had passed the baby because I emotionally and psychologically needed the baby to hold even if just for a moment, then to have to bury with my grandmother. An hour later I passed my tiny bundle of joy although not much to look at I could see all of its limbs, eyes, ears, nose...it was perfect in my eyes. I wrapped it's tiny body up in a blanket and stuck it in the freezer so it would not deteriorate until I got back from the hospital.
I was bleeding so bad until I got to the hospital that the doctor was going to come in and do an D&C at 1 am! However, he decided to try Methergine instead. It stopped the bleeding (I was bleeding through chux not pads!). I continued to bleed in the following weeks and was put on 10 days of Methergine, to no avail.
Finally, on August 29, 2008 a month after the M/C the doctor did a D&C, as well as a left ovarian cyctectomy (I developed a 5 mm cyst in one week between ultrasounds and was tripled over in pain)
Today is October 8, 2008, and I finally got AF to visit again, I've never been so happy or relieved to see her...at least I know when I'm ready I can try again!
I'm due July 15th, have 1 angel baby & live in Boyertown, Pennsylvania
posted 21st Oct
My husband and I are trying to get pregnant now. We have had terrible problems over the past two years. I got mis-diagnosed with ovarian cancer and went through 4 of the most painful procedures I have ever been through in my life. After that, we decided that I would get an IUD to make things easier on me until we were "ready". That was a nightmare too! I ended up with having emergency surgery to have that removed as well as parts of my cervix b/c my body rejected it so bad. I had it in for over a year and had regular doctor appts (one every months) and they never caught it. I stayed sickthe entireyear and had to go through so much medications b/c they were misdiagnosing my IUD w/just a "normal cold" type sickness. My husband and I are trying now...but I haven't had a cycle since I got my IUD removed so I don't even know if I am ovulating. Soooooooo Stressful!!
quoteI'm TTC since August '08 & live in Georgia
775 postsposted 24th Oct
my husband and i got married in may '08. i have PCOS and have always known that it would likely be a challenge to have kids. as my periods can be irregular, i didn't think much of it when i was late in august. i started spotting at the end of august and just figured it was my odd cycles. when i was still spotting almost 4 weeks later and had a horrible bladder infection, i went to the doctor. while checking the bladder infection, they found i was 8 weeks pregnant. i had my first hemmorage at 9 weeks and was put on bedrest because of subcorionic bleeding. then, at 10 weeks, another major hemmorage. but every time i expected there to be nothing on the U/S screen, the baby would be there, wildly moving and with a strong FHB. after the last follow-up appt. to the second hemmorage, the doctor told me that my next appt. would be after 14 weeks, and i would likely remain on bedrest, and i would likely hemmorage again, and it would be, and i quote, "a long pregancy for you."
i don't have the story of ultimate loss that i read here in this thread. but as i am suffering with constant worry that the baby is no longer alive. with every symptom (or loss of symptoms) that i go through, i read the stories here and i am actually comforted to know that i am not crazy to worry. there is no "magic date" in a pregnancy that you pass and everything will turn out great. my husband is scared that my anxiety is only exacerbating the problem, and my depression over bedrest and the stress of the pregnancy is sometimes overwhelming. thinking that the baby isn't there anymore everytime i bleed or discharge. the stress is amazing. i don't know what will happen when i see the dr. again on nov. 4th. i face the U/S screen bravely every time anticipating the worst. this pregnancy has already been so physically difficult for me that my husband and i aren't sure that we will try again if we do have a healthy baby.
i just want to be cautious, and i don't feel like anyone is listening, truly listening, when i try to tell them that the fear is real. this thread helps me to know that i am not alone.
quotei don't have the story of ultimate loss that i read here in this thread. but as i am suffering with constant worry that the baby is no longer alive. with every symptom (or loss of symptoms) that i go through, i read the stories here and i am actually comforted to know that i am not crazy to worry. there is no "magic date" in a pregnancy that you pass and everything will turn out great. my husband is scared that my anxiety is only exacerbating the problem, and my depression over bedrest and the stress of the pregnancy is sometimes overwhelming. thinking that the baby isn't there anymore everytime i bleed or discharge. the stress is amazing. i don't know what will happen when i see the dr. again on nov. 4th. i face the U/S screen bravely every time anticipating the worst. this pregnancy has already been so physically difficult for me that my husband and i aren't sure that we will try again if we do have a healthy baby.
i just want to be cautious, and i don't feel like anyone is listening, truly listening, when i try to tell them that the fear is real. this thread helps me to know that i am not alone.
I'm due April 30th & live in Fort Worth, Texas
32 postsposted 24th Oct
Hi everyone. This was my first pregnancy. While it was not planned, my husband and I were so excited to become parents. Early this week, I started bleeding which only got worse after ordered bed rest. Eventually they sent me to ER where I was diagnosed with a threatened m/c and told to have a follow-up in 48 hrs. So today hubby and I went to Dr (my first and last appt) who told us that I had miscarried. I don't want to be sad b/c I know it was not in my control, but it is sooo hard not to be. Thanks for letting me share. It helps to be able to get all of this emotion out! Amanda
quoteI have 1 angel baby & live in Georgia
5 postsposted 30th Oct
I'm Josie and I haven't been on the site for that long well here goes
I frist got pregnet when i was just 17 fresh out of highschool. I was scared and didn't know who or where to turn to I turned 18 just a couple days after finding out I was pregnet. I was young and stupid so I hide my pregnecy from everyone even my friends. I never went to the doctor never got the chance to hear my babys heart beat or see it maybe if I had we would have cought something in time. I went into labor early January 14th 2006 I drove my self to the hospital and gave birth to a beatiful 8 pound baby boy but he was still born the doctors ran test after test and they couldn't figure out why my baby die. It took me a year to tell my family what had happened. Earlier this year I got pregnet again I was nervous but happy then in September I though I had lost the baby but when I went to the doctor eariler this moth the doctor told me that I was pregnet with twins and had only lost one baby. I am still pregnet now and just found out that im having a boy Zander Lee Johnson the doctors say he's doing great I'm so scared that I'll lose him but hoping for the best. I can't wait to get a second chace to be a mom
quoteI frist got pregnet when i was just 17 fresh out of highschool. I was scared and didn't know who or where to turn to I turned 18 just a couple days after finding out I was pregnet. I was young and stupid so I hide my pregnecy from everyone even my friends. I never went to the doctor never got the chance to hear my babys heart beat or see it maybe if I had we would have cought something in time. I went into labor early January 14th 2006 I drove my self to the hospital and gave birth to a beatiful 8 pound baby boy but he was still born the doctors ran test after test and they couldn't figure out why my baby die. It took me a year to tell my family what had happened. Earlier this year I got pregnet again I was nervous but happy then in September I though I had lost the baby but when I went to the doctor eariler this moth the doctor told me that I was pregnet with twins and had only lost one baby. I am still pregnet now and just found out that im having a boy Zander Lee Johnson the doctors say he's doing great I'm so scared that I'll lose him but hoping for the best. I can't wait to get a second chace to be a mom
I'm due May 5th (a boy), have 2 angel babies & live in Washington
115 postsposted 3rd Nov
Im Denise, I only joined baby gaga a few days ago as I am expecting again.
I am 24 and live with my partner Luke of 7 years. I have had 2 miscarriges, one getting to about 8 weeks and another only 5.
The feelings I went through after these where horrible. I didnt no how to handle it or cope, and I went on to develope m.h problems. I guess I just couldnt cope with the stress.
I am having a few problems with the pregnancy already and ill find out Friday if everythings going ok xxx
I send my love to everyone whos gone through this as its so hard xxx
quoteI am 24 and live with my partner Luke of 7 years. I have had 2 miscarriges, one getting to about 8 weeks and another only 5.
The feelings I went through after these where horrible. I didnt no how to handle it or cope, and I went on to develope m.h problems. I guess I just couldnt cope with the stress.
I am having a few problems with the pregnancy already and ill find out Friday if everythings going ok xxx
I send my love to everyone whos gone through this as its so hard xxx
I'm TTC since January '04, have 4 angel babies & live in United Kingdom
26 postsposted 4th Nov
My names Melissa, im 18. I joined baby-gaga when i became pregnant with my little Olivia.
Olivia was bornstill, but still born at 34 weeks & 1 day.
My pregnancy was perfect right up untill I found out that we had lost Olivia.
To see Olivias Story, visit her memorial page. Still working hard on it though.
http://olivia-norwood.last-memories.com/
quoteOlivia was bornstill, but still born at 34 weeks & 1 day.
My pregnancy was perfect right up untill I found out that we had lost Olivia.
To see Olivias Story, visit her memorial page. Still working hard on it though.
http://olivia-norwood.last-memories.com/
I have 1 angel baby & live in Augusta, Maine
3 postsposted 6th Nov
Hi my name is miranda and i am 19yrs. old. I have been with my fiance for going on two years. We decided to start trying to get pregnant, So I got off the shot and got put on hormone pills to get my period to come faster. I had taken so many test but they all came back negative and I gave up.On May 21st me and one of my girlfriends were sitting around and she thought she was pregnant but scared to do a test so i took one with her. Well hers was negative but mine was positive I cried. I went to the doctor and I was only three weeks along! Surprised they could even tell.May 28thi was having bad cramps and bleeding really bad and i went to the doctor and they drew blood and i would have to wait til the next day to find out the news. Then it hit they called me on may 29th and said that I was m/c... I called my fiance and we just laid in bed crying all day cause we really wanted it. Well I went back to work trying to get my mind off of it and threw my fiance a surprise birthday party, I went to the doctor on June 29th cause i thought i had food poisoning and come to find out I was pregnant again. The drew blood to see how far along i was and on June 30th I was six weeks. I called the OB and wanted a u/s done cause something didn't seem right. There was no way I dropped an egg that fast. They confirmed that I didn't m/c. I called the family doctor and they said then it was a twin i m/c. I called the OB again and they said that at a 6 week ultrasound they can tell if you were carrying twins or not because the other sac would still be there. I called the family doctor again and they tried saying they read someone elses file. I was so mad because I had gotten told that i had miscarried and i didn't. I am 25 weeks now with a healthy baby boy but it has a been a bumpy road for us so far.
quoteI'm due February 23rd & live in Des Moines, Iowa
4 postsposted 12th Nov
Hi im Brandy, just Turned 29 on November 2nd have been with my husband almost 7yrs, I joined baby gaga after I found out i was pregnant in June... Heres my story.....
On October 25, 2008 it was a normal day, I had made a pumpkin pie, cleaned the house and played with my 2 year old son all day. We had tacos for dinner and watched a movie that night. I had felt my baby boy move all day. My 2 year old son Zander was sitting on my lap and the boy inside my belly was kicking like crazy. I put Zanders hand on my belly and said your baby brother is going to kick you and he did, Zander pulled his hand away and said "eeew". Zander fell asleep on my lap that night in the chair and I carried him upstairs to bed. I went to sleep and woke up with pains/cramps in my belly. I rolled over thinking it was how I was sleeping and it would go away. They continued so I got up and came downstairs for a glass of water. When I got downstairs my stomache hurt so I went into the bathroom, I had diareah and saw blood. I immediatley contacted my dr and she told me to meet her at the hospital. I ran upstairs and told my husband that I was bleeding and going to the hospital our son was in bed and I was trying to get someone to come be with him so he could come to the hospital. I got ahold of my one sister and she made all the other phone calls (other sisters and parents). I drove myself to the hospital crying the whole way talking to my baby boy telling him it was too early to come as I was only 25 weeks pregnant.
My Dr arrived shortly at the hospital after I did and another OB was there and I heard them talking about mercy flying me to Buffalo to a womens and children hospital.I was checked and confirmed that I was already in full blown labor and 10cm dialated. I began crying hysterically because I knew it was too soon for my baby boy too arive. They then called for mercy flight to come get my boy after he was delivered and mercy flight wouldnt come out as it was too foggy. So they called to have an ambulance drive from buffalo which is an hr and 1/2 drive. My sister showed up, then my parents and then my husband and I remember seeing the fear in his eye and him saying its way too early several times. The ultrasound tech came in and confirmed that my baby boy was breach and I would need an emergency c-section. My contractions kept getting stronger and I could feel my son getting closer to coming out. The Ob that was there wouldnt operate immediatley he wanted to wait for Buffalo to show up at our hospital. They took me to the Or and was waiting and my contractions were getting closer and I finally told my dr I could feel baby coming they needed to take him now. The surgeon Ob came in and checked me and felt my son and said you need to put her out now. I remember thoughts of my precious baby boys face before I was under.
My baby boy was born at 2:54am on 10/26/2008 and weighed 1lb 12ounces and was 13 and 1/4inches long. When I awoke from surgery I was in pain but the first thing I asked was hows my baby wheres my baby? The nurses told me he was stable and buffalo was there to take him to a hospital that was an hr and 1/2 away. I began to cry I just wanted to see him and hold him and hear him cry. They took me by the nursery where he was so I could see him but I couldnt really see him so they told me they would bring him to my room before they left. They brought my baby boy to my room and he was so tiny. I reached my hand in there and his hands were so tiny. His hand just fit around my pinky. I cried and told my lil baby that I loved him and to stay strong after maybe 2 minutes with my soon they took him away and I cried and continued to cry I felt so alone and empty as the life inside of me was just torn out. My husband and father and sister were in the room with me and I told my husband we needed to name him and cried even more. My husband came up with the name Trenton and I said Trenton James. Everyone went home as it was like 5:30 to 6am then and I tried to get some sleep.
Later that day 10/26/2008. I received a call from the Buffalo hospital to tell me that Trentons Ultrasound of his head came back normal and that his vitals were stable and asked for permission to give my baby blood transfusions as he wasnt replacing the blood they were taking out of him. They stated they would continue to do unltrasounds to make sure everything was ok with him. None of this sounded good to me and I felt so helpless and like I needed to be with my baby so he could maybe feel my love and get stronger. My husband drove to see him and spent some time with him that day. The next day 10/27/2008 I got a phone call from the NICU in bufallo. They asked if my husband was there with me and I stated no. So they proceeded to tell me that my baby boys ultrasound did not come back good I began to cry hysterically they said he had a stage IV brain bleed which is the most severe. They werent sure where it was coming from and were trying to stop it. They stated if it continued to bleed it would cause brain damage and they give the parents the option to take them off of life support. I called my husband and told him the news and a few minutes later he sent me a text saying "dont give up hope". I was devistated, and couldnt even think of taking my precious boy off of life support. I cried most of the day/night after talking to them. I called the hospital in Buffalo and asked them if it was ok for my sister to go to Buffalo and see my son and they let her. My sister "layed hands" on my baby boy and prayed for him and prayed with him. That made me feel a little bit better and I prayed and hoped that there would be a miracle that my precious boy would make it through this. That night my dr came in to see me and talked with me and I told her the news. She asked me if I wanted to be discharged in the morning and told me if I was not to overdue it. I told her yes I wanted to go see my baby boy.
The next morning they came in at 8:30am and started the discharge procces and I did not get out of the hospital until 12 noon. We went home and I had lunch with my 2 yr old then my sister came and took him so I could go be with Trenton. my husband drove me and about 1/2 way there I got a call from my sister and Buffalo hospital had called her and were trying to get ahold of me. I was hoping it would be good news that the bleed was gone and was so nervous after the call. My husband tried to talk to me to think positive thoughts but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomache. When we arrived at my babys incubator they came right over to us and told us we needed to sit down. I began to cry and I looked at them and told them they needed to tell me and the guy was silent and said he was going to get the other dr. They came and told us the bleeding was more severe and had caused seizures and that Trentons brain was already damaged. The dr talked with us for a long while about the possible outcomes if Trenton was to stay alive. They said that baby Trenton could stay alive forever on the ventilator but would never be able to walk would have limited use of his upper limbs if any at all. They explained that he would probably never be able to see or hear because of the bleed. I was crying hysterically and held my hand on my baby boys leg and just continued to tell him how mommy loved him. My baby was heavily sedated but was still seizing. My husband asked the dr what he would do and he said " my heart would say not but my brain would say yes". I decided that there was not much I could do at the hospital so my husband and I drove home. On the way home we talked about Trenton and what we felt would be best for him. We thought we were damned if we did and damned if we didnt that both decisions were way too hard. We discussed how much Trenton would be suffering and how much that would also put our 2 yr old son through as well as us as parents. Both of us have to work to make it financially. I broke down and cried and said what kind of mother am I to take my baby off the ventilator but I could just see how he was suffering when he was seizing and his head was swollen. I called my parents and 3 sisters and asked them to meet us at our house.
When we arrived home everyone was there. I walked in and broke down crying. I explained to my family that Trenton was now seizing and his brain bleed was worse. I told them what the Dr told us Trentons outcome and that we have decided to take him off of life support so he would not have to continue suffering from the bleed and the seizures. My husbands mom was coming from Ct on Wensday 10/29/08 so she could see her grandson. I woke up extremely sore and decided to stay home with my 2 yr old son that day as I didnt hink I could handle the trip to Buffalo and we wanted to wait for hubbys mom to get in so I contacted the hospital to see how my baby was doing and they said he was still heavily sedated and needed another transfusion that morning. I asked the nurse to put the phone to baby Trentons ear so I could tell him I loved him. I cried that whole day knowing I was going to Buffalo the next day to end my babys life.
My Sisters and mother and cousin decided to all go to Buffalo with me on Thursday 10/30/2008 for support and so they could meet Trenton. Everyone showed up at my house around 9:30am and we left for Buffalo. When we arrived at Buffalo my precious baby boys head was twice the size it was when I was there on Tuesday. The nurse contacted the Dr and he showed us his ultrasound pictures from that morning and the bleed was even more severe and where it had caused damage. I stayed there and watched my baby seize a few times and could not handle it anymore so we told the Dr what we had decided. They set up a private room for us and brought baby Trenton to me. I held him admired him and told him it was ok to go so he did not have to suffer anymore. Trenton took his last breath approximatley 40 minutes after they took him off the ventilator but his little heart did not stop beating until about an hour and 40 minutes after we took him off.
Baby Trentons life was a short one but he made a huge impact on me. There is not a day that goes by that I dont think of him and cry because I miss him. Mommy will always love you baby Trenton 10-26-2008 to 10-30-2008. My baby boy was laid to rest on November 3rd, 2008. RIP lil guy I love you...
quoteOn October 25, 2008 it was a normal day, I had made a pumpkin pie, cleaned the house and played with my 2 year old son all day. We had tacos for dinner and watched a movie that night. I had felt my baby boy move all day. My 2 year old son Zander was sitting on my lap and the boy inside my belly was kicking like crazy. I put Zanders hand on my belly and said your baby brother is going to kick you and he did, Zander pulled his hand away and said "eeew". Zander fell asleep on my lap that night in the chair and I carried him upstairs to bed. I went to sleep and woke up with pains/cramps in my belly. I rolled over thinking it was how I was sleeping and it would go away. They continued so I got up and came downstairs for a glass of water. When I got downstairs my stomache hurt so I went into the bathroom, I had diareah and saw blood. I immediatley contacted my dr and she told me to meet her at the hospital. I ran upstairs and told my husband that I was bleeding and going to the hospital our son was in bed and I was trying to get someone to come be with him so he could come to the hospital. I got ahold of my one sister and she made all the other phone calls (other sisters and parents). I drove myself to the hospital crying the whole way talking to my baby boy telling him it was too early to come as I was only 25 weeks pregnant.
My Dr arrived shortly at the hospital after I did and another OB was there and I heard them talking about mercy flying me to Buffalo to a womens and children hospital.I was checked and confirmed that I was already in full blown labor and 10cm dialated. I began crying hysterically because I knew it was too soon for my baby boy too arive. They then called for mercy flight to come get my boy after he was delivered and mercy flight wouldnt come out as it was too foggy. So they called to have an ambulance drive from buffalo which is an hr and 1/2 drive. My sister showed up, then my parents and then my husband and I remember seeing the fear in his eye and him saying its way too early several times. The ultrasound tech came in and confirmed that my baby boy was breach and I would need an emergency c-section. My contractions kept getting stronger and I could feel my son getting closer to coming out. The Ob that was there wouldnt operate immediatley he wanted to wait for Buffalo to show up at our hospital. They took me to the Or and was waiting and my contractions were getting closer and I finally told my dr I could feel baby coming they needed to take him now. The surgeon Ob came in and checked me and felt my son and said you need to put her out now. I remember thoughts of my precious baby boys face before I was under.
My baby boy was born at 2:54am on 10/26/2008 and weighed 1lb 12ounces and was 13 and 1/4inches long. When I awoke from surgery I was in pain but the first thing I asked was hows my baby wheres my baby? The nurses told me he was stable and buffalo was there to take him to a hospital that was an hr and 1/2 away. I began to cry I just wanted to see him and hold him and hear him cry. They took me by the nursery where he was so I could see him but I couldnt really see him so they told me they would bring him to my room before they left. They brought my baby boy to my room and he was so tiny. I reached my hand in there and his hands were so tiny. His hand just fit around my pinky. I cried and told my lil baby that I loved him and to stay strong after maybe 2 minutes with my soon they took him away and I cried and continued to cry I felt so alone and empty as the life inside of me was just torn out. My husband and father and sister were in the room with me and I told my husband we needed to name him and cried even more. My husband came up with the name Trenton and I said Trenton James. Everyone went home as it was like 5:30 to 6am then and I tried to get some sleep.
Later that day 10/26/2008. I received a call from the Buffalo hospital to tell me that Trentons Ultrasound of his head came back normal and that his vitals were stable and asked for permission to give my baby blood transfusions as he wasnt replacing the blood they were taking out of him. They stated they would continue to do unltrasounds to make sure everything was ok with him. None of this sounded good to me and I felt so helpless and like I needed to be with my baby so he could maybe feel my love and get stronger. My husband drove to see him and spent some time with him that day. The next day 10/27/2008 I got a phone call from the NICU in bufallo. They asked if my husband was there with me and I stated no. So they proceeded to tell me that my baby boys ultrasound did not come back good I began to cry hysterically they said he had a stage IV brain bleed which is the most severe. They werent sure where it was coming from and were trying to stop it. They stated if it continued to bleed it would cause brain damage and they give the parents the option to take them off of life support. I called my husband and told him the news and a few minutes later he sent me a text saying "dont give up hope". I was devistated, and couldnt even think of taking my precious boy off of life support. I cried most of the day/night after talking to them. I called the hospital in Buffalo and asked them if it was ok for my sister to go to Buffalo and see my son and they let her. My sister "layed hands" on my baby boy and prayed for him and prayed with him. That made me feel a little bit better and I prayed and hoped that there would be a miracle that my precious boy would make it through this. That night my dr came in to see me and talked with me and I told her the news. She asked me if I wanted to be discharged in the morning and told me if I was not to overdue it. I told her yes I wanted to go see my baby boy.
The next morning they came in at 8:30am and started the discharge procces and I did not get out of the hospital until 12 noon. We went home and I had lunch with my 2 yr old then my sister came and took him so I could go be with Trenton. my husband drove me and about 1/2 way there I got a call from my sister and Buffalo hospital had called her and were trying to get ahold of me. I was hoping it would be good news that the bleed was gone and was so nervous after the call. My husband tried to talk to me to think positive thoughts but I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomache. When we arrived at my babys incubator they came right over to us and told us we needed to sit down. I began to cry and I looked at them and told them they needed to tell me and the guy was silent and said he was going to get the other dr. They came and told us the bleeding was more severe and had caused seizures and that Trentons brain was already damaged. The dr talked with us for a long while about the possible outcomes if Trenton was to stay alive. They said that baby Trenton could stay alive forever on the ventilator but would never be able to walk would have limited use of his upper limbs if any at all. They explained that he would probably never be able to see or hear because of the bleed. I was crying hysterically and held my hand on my baby boys leg and just continued to tell him how mommy loved him. My baby was heavily sedated but was still seizing. My husband asked the dr what he would do and he said " my heart would say not but my brain would say yes". I decided that there was not much I could do at the hospital so my husband and I drove home. On the way home we talked about Trenton and what we felt would be best for him. We thought we were damned if we did and damned if we didnt that both decisions were way too hard. We discussed how much Trenton would be suffering and how much that would also put our 2 yr old son through as well as us as parents. Both of us have to work to make it financially. I broke down and cried and said what kind of mother am I to take my baby off the ventilator but I could just see how he was suffering when he was seizing and his head was swollen. I called my parents and 3 sisters and asked them to meet us at our house.
When we arrived home everyone was there. I walked in and broke down crying. I explained to my family that Trenton was now seizing and his brain bleed was worse. I told them what the Dr told us Trentons outcome and that we have decided to take him off of life support so he would not have to continue suffering from the bleed and the seizures. My husbands mom was coming from Ct on Wensday 10/29/08 so she could see her grandson. I woke up extremely sore and decided to stay home with my 2 yr old son that day as I didnt hink I could handle the trip to Buffalo and we wanted to wait for hubbys mom to get in so I contacted the hospital to see how my baby was doing and they said he was still heavily sedated and needed another transfusion that morning. I asked the nurse to put the phone to baby Trentons ear so I could tell him I loved him. I cried that whole day knowing I was going to Buffalo the next day to end my babys life.
My Sisters and mother and cousin decided to all go to Buffalo with me on Thursday 10/30/2008 for support and so they could meet Trenton. Everyone showed up at my house around 9:30am and we left for Buffalo. When we arrived at Buffalo my precious baby boys head was twice the size it was when I was there on Tuesday. The nurse contacted the Dr and he showed us his ultrasound pictures from that morning and the bleed was even more severe and where it had caused damage. I stayed there and watched my baby seize a few times and could not handle it anymore so we told the Dr what we had decided. They set up a private room for us and brought baby Trenton to me. I held him admired him and told him it was ok to go so he did not have to suffer anymore. Trenton took his last breath approximatley 40 minutes after they took him off the ventilator but his little heart did not stop beating until about an hour and 40 minutes after we took him off.
Baby Trentons life was a short one but he made a huge impact on me. There is not a day that goes by that I dont think of him and cry because I miss him. Mommy will always love you baby Trenton 10-26-2008 to 10-30-2008. My baby boy was laid to rest on November 3rd, 2008. RIP lil guy I love you...
I have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in New York
59 postsposted 13th Nov
Quoting Rina-o1-o9-2oo8:“ Hey I've been on baby gaga since my last pregnancy in 06. Well here is my story When I was 18 weeks ... [snip!] ... fine... I have gotten a cerclage to stitch up my cervix and im on bedrest so pray for me. Im praying for you guys as well ”I'm so sorry for your loss. I do hope this pregnancy turns up to be a healthy baby. I'm gonna pray for you. Congrats btw!
I'm due January 3rd (a boy), have 2 kids & live in Las Vegas, Nevada
18 postsposted 14th Nov
hiya, my names amy im 18 years old from sundeland, i am 12 month pregnant, was with twins but i unfortunitely lost 1, my other little angel is still there fighting! just have to hope for the best and keep my fingers crossed, ive only been on baby gaga for a few days, found out about this site from a friend that told me about it and its great, had lots of help and support of other people that are in or have been in similar situations x
quoteI'm due May 22nd & live in United Kingdom
889 postsposted 14th Nov
Quoting Olivias Mommy.:“ My names Melissa, im 18. I joined baby-gaga when i became pregnant with my little Olivia. Olivia was ... [snip!] ... To see Olivias Story, visit her memorial page. Still working hard on it though. http://olivia-norwood.last-memories.com/”I just read your story and I just can't stop crying. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had some words to say but I have none. God bless you sweetie.
2 postsposted 15th Nov
My name is Jordan, and I'm 17 years young. I joined baby-gaga because i thought i was pregnant and then I saw all these forums and realized you dont have to be pregnant to be a member. I have 2 angel babies. I hate sharing the story of them but I don't feel that i'll be judged here. The first was concieved of a rape when I was 12 years old, at about 5 weeks the rapist found out that I had gotten pregnant and took it upon himself to terminate my pregnancy in some not so nice ways. The second happened less than a year after that by the same man, another rape. I lost the baby at between 5 and 6 weeks I still don't know if it was from the meth habit I had started before the pregnancy or him beating it fromme. Even though I didnt get to spend much time with my angel babies it still hurts when you know you've lost them. And you're never really the same again. I feel that through all this I've matured a bit quicker and changed my life for the better. I've been clean from meth for almost 4 years and have moved myself across the country [ from michigan to arizona ] asfar from any temptations and that evil man that I could get. And through the loss I found myself a wonderful man who understood my story and we are now engaged, I'll also be starting college this spring. I'm almost positive that I'm pregnant again, this time by good means. I hope I am I want to experience all I missed out on with my angel babies. I also have a soon to be stepson who is currently out of reach to me because of his mother who recently moved him to Colorado.
I miss you my angel babies
Oh how I wish I would have gotten to hear your hearts beat.
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quoteI miss you my angel babies
Oh how I wish I would have gotten to hear your hearts beat.
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I have 1 child & 2 angel babies & live in Arizona
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