re: Introduce Yourself....

hello, my name is barbara and currently i am 22 yrs old. well back in march of this yr me and my hubby found out we were pregnant. i had really bad morning sickness but other than that and my baby having a small calcification in her liver (it wasent going to affect her in her lifetime) everything was great. july 24 me and my hubby were intimate and everything was fine until the morning. i didnt have any cramps but there was slight bleeding when i had went to the bathroom. i called labor and delivery and they said it was fine just come in if i had cramping. so i went back to bed annd woke up around 12. i had slight cramping. thats when i got worried. i went into labor and delivery and they did an ultrasound and told me that everything was fine and to take tylenol for pain. i went home and did as i was told but something just wasent right. the tylenol didnt take away the cramps so me thinking that the doctor knows best just decided to stay home and wait it out. the next day i went to work, i had cramping all through out the day. i knew i was in labor when they came every 3 min. so i went into they hospital and had to wait 2 hrs for someone to check me. when the doctor finally came in they checked me said i was 2 cm dilated and i had a slight fever so they were going to let nature take it's course and let me deliver....they had also said i was ''leaking fluid''. well they had given me antibiotics and my fever went away , i was still 2 cm dilated but they still refused to stop it. my daughter was fine, no signs of stress and her heart rate was 155 beats a min. at 1:35 am july 26 i gave birth to my daughter. i still dont get it, they said her chance for survival outside the womb was not good at all and would pass within minutes, my angel stayed alive for 35 minutes without the doctors help. they refused to help her stay alive....as soon as i gave birth they cut the cord put her in a blanket and gave her to me to die in my arms. they said she wouldnt be able to breath and her lungs werent fully developed. but the funny thing is they told me if i waited 3 more days she would have survived. i was 23 wks pregnant....my daughter was beautiful as with all the others angels that had left all of us...i want to sue the hospital for neglect but my heart says if i went into labor, it must have been for a reason. god knows what he's doing and i wish i could understand but god is what gets me through this and i know my angel is safe with him. there's a saying '' people only dream of angels, but i got to hold one'' i strongly believe in that........im praying for all the other mommies out there that has had a loss.....my heart bleeds for my daughter every minute of every day........ i hope i get to meet alot of woman on here cause even with gods help i still feel alone.........everyone is in my prayers and if u read this if u could pray for me also........

Madeline olivia collazo............i will love u always and forever

Quoting BrittanyD86:“ My names Brittany and i'm 21 years old.right now im 25 weeks pregnant.and things r so hard at the moment.a ... [snip!] ... sorry to the other moms out there.whether ur baby was born or a miscarriage loss is hard no matter what and equally important”

I give you so much credit for going through such a major thing so young and being so mature about it and coming through..Theres not many people that would have been strong like you have..I can't imagine how it must have felt I miscarried while pregnant and never even met the baby or had time to bond and it was REALLY hard..I didn't think I would ever snap out of the depression..Also guys as much as they try don't seem to understand like we do..I know it must be hard and scary being pregnant again but try to stay positive and focus so you don't stress and worry to much and believe that god would not have you go through that again..Good luck

Quoting it's a girl!!!:“ hello, my name is barbara and currently i am 22 yrs old. well back in march of this yr me and my hubby ... [snip!] ... and if u read this if u could pray for me also........ Madeline olivia collazo............i will love u always and forever”

awww sweetheart I really feel for you and am sitting here holding back the tears..I can't even imagine! and I do feel there is a reason you went into labor but that doesn't mean the doctors could not have done something to save your little girl..It seems as if they didn't even try or maybe didn't car to..Which I can not understand..You should definately talk to a lawyer to see if there is something you can do..

Quoting Heather Lea:“ awww sweetheart I really feel for you and am sitting here holding back the tears..I can't even imagine! ... [snip!] ... didn't car to..Which I can not understand..You should definately talk to a lawyer to see if there is something you can do..”

thank u...they didnt put any effort into it. but i do believe i went into labor for a reason and thank u for your kind words. even though it's been 5 days i believe im coming to the fact that ive accepted the fact that she's gone. i want to try again for a child so bad but a part of me believes that it's because i want her to be back and the baby would be just like her. im trying to calm down. god loves us and dosent give us anything we cant handle, how are you by the way?

actually when I had my miscarriage I was a train wreck and the ONLY thing that got me past it is looking forward to trying again..Not to replace that baby..But to fill the void..My doctor said wait 3 months and I said thats not possible and she said ok well wait ATLEAST one period..Thats what I did..It then took 4 months/4 periods to get pregnant and found out on fathers day I've been blessed again with another baby..I have had a few minor problems (huge problems to me) like some bleeding/spotting but when I start to worry I say would god have given me another baby if he was gonna take it? After the miscarriage in January I preyed EVERY night to god and St.Janeine (the fertility angel) to believe in me and help me conceive..then it happen and I believe god blessed me because he knew, now I was 100% prepared and very stabile and healthy..So now I think since it was his blessing he won't take it away..Hopefully..I think you should try again after you grieve..Did they say the odds of the next baby being the same is likely? I wish you luck...Oh girl it really brings tears to my eyes I know how sad you are..Especially what got me is people saying hows the baby..I broke down every time..Also I lost the baby a little less then a month before my wedding so of course at my wedding it was congrats hows the baby? I asked my husband and family to spread the word ahead of time but then I got how you feeling? which was worse..I then came back from my honey moon and tried to put it behind me as best as I could and start over..Maybe you should try taking a short vacation just to get away and relax..Is that possible?

Quoting Heather Lea:“ actually when I had my miscarriage I was a train wreck and the ONLY thing that got me past it is looking ... [snip!] ... as best as I could and start over..Maybe you should try taking a short vacation just to get away and relax..Is that possible?”

wow, just before ur wedding???? im sorry. ive been getting the'' how's the baby ''at work....i hold back tears and say that i lost her. im glad that god has blessed u with another child. how many months are u? i want to ttc right away also. i was so excited on having another baby to give my love to. i have an appointment august 4...im going to ask all the questions i can. i wont be able to have a vacation till the beginning of sept. (more time for the ttc part! lol) i just picked up my daughters ashes today, the medical examiner had the cause of death as prematurity. ive been praying to god to take the heartache away and today i felt an overwhelming sense of peace. at least i know she was innocent so god will accept her with open arms. i still cry but i do feel as though it has been accepted. no matter what i do she will never come back so instead of feeling depressed im trying to turn it into something to learn and grow from. me and my hubby are together but it was starting to go downhill....since her passing we have connected on so many levels and have gotten closer to each other. maybe it was meant to be. only god knows what he's doing. where are u from by the way?

Quoting it's a girl!!!:“ wow, just before ur wedding???? im sorry. ive been getting the'' how's the baby ''at work....i hold ... [snip!] ... have gotten closer to each other. maybe it was meant to be. only god knows what he's doing. where are u from by the way? ”

I think you should try again..It will help you take your mind off that baby..Also when you do have another baby it will be that much more special to you..But don't try to soon..Your body needs some time to heal..I will prey for you..I am now 10 weeks and 5 days..I am so excited! I prey every night this baby will be healthy..I am from NJ where are you from? Do you have myspace? I don't know if I asked you before..

Quoting Heather Lea:“ I think you should try again..It will help you take your mind off that baby..Also when you do have another ... [snip!] ... night this baby will be healthy..I am from NJ where are you from? Do you have myspace? I don't know if I asked you before..”

im from ct, i just finished a job in absecon nj. yes i have a myspace u can find me by my email clouds_sky84@yahoo.com i'll be praying for ur baby also. how much time do u have to heal? i feel so impatient. idk i just had an crying ''episode'' as they call it.. my mind is neither here nor there...i wish i could stay grounded

Quoting Madeline my angel baby***:“ im from ct, i just finished a job in absecon nj. yes i have a myspace u can find me by my email clouds_sky84@yahoo.com ... [snip!] ... idk i just had an crying ''episode'' as they call it.. my mind is neither here nor there...i wish i could stay grounded”

Well "they" say when you miscarriage you should try to wait 3 months..For me this was not possible so the doctor said atleast one full period..Then it took 4 months/periods to get pregnant..I am not sure how long you should wait when you actualy have the baby because your body doesn't need the time to heal as if you had a miscarriage..Your doctor told you how long you should before having sex right? I would wait until your allowed..The bonus you have is after having a baby the chance of getting pregnant right away is VERY high! I would wait until the bleeding stops from having the baby thne one period..Then start trying after that..I am going to send you a friend request then look it up to be sure..

Quoting Madeline my angel baby***:“ im from ct, i just finished a job in absecon nj. yes i have a myspace u can find me by my email clouds_sky84@yahoo.com ... [snip!] ... idk i just had an crying ''episode'' as they call it.. my mind is neither here nor there...i wish i could stay grounded”

You said you have a myspace right? What you sent me was your email address..Whats your name on myspace? Or you can find me at www.myspace.com/xobabyfeath22ox

Quoting Heather Lea:“ You said you have a myspace right? What you sent me was your email address..Whats your name on myspace? Or you can find me at www.myspace.com/xobabyfeath22ox”

if u go to search and put email thats how u could find me, im about to try u..lol

I'm glad you found me..

My name is Krissy. I had thought I already introduced myself here but I went through this again and I must of not. I am really sorry to hear everyone elses stories. I'm trying to hold back some tears right now, I'm at work and don't want to have tears running down my face. Well, I've found myself coming to the suffering and loss lately. In the beginning of January 08 I found out I was pregnant. We were happy but we weren't really trying to conceive. When we first found out, I wanted to wait a little longer to tell family and friends. I ended up telling my parents the night we found out. My mom's dad was very sick and my parents were in New York visisting him. I really wanted my grandpa to know we were expecting. The next week my grandpa had passed away. My parents had came back to tennessee before he passed. When my dad called me at 2 AM I new right away something bad had happened. He told me and by 7 that morning we were on the road to drive to New York for his funeral. My husband stayed behind and I brought my son with me. My grandpa never got meet Trevor. He was very sweet and even put some flowers in his cascit. The drive up wasn't bad at all, especially with a 20 month old for 13 hours. The actual visit was very stressful. My family is a bit messed up in my mind. Thats another whole story. So february rolls around and that was fine. On March 4th, I found out by ultrasound I had a miscarriage. I would have been almost 13 weeks. I had some light bleeding but no cramps. After a day or two I called my OB and the scheduled an u/s for the next day and that when I found out. I still had no cramps. The next morning I woke up to very severe cramps. I would have very much rathered give birth to my son than to go through those cramps again. My husband wanted to stay at home but I told him to go on to work, there was no reason to watch me in pain. He called my mom and he ended up taking me to her house with our son and then went to work. Thankfully, the cramps only lasted about 6 hours. After that I felt almost fine. Right when I got to my moms house though, I went to the bathroom and I'm pretty sure I passed most of everything. My brother even had his baby born on that same day too. So that didn't really help matters much. I felt pretty strong and went with my mom that afternoon and visited them in the hospital. The hadsome health problems with their baby boy but he was released from the hospital after about maybe 10 days. I had my D&C scheduled for the next day. My OB recommended it, since I would have been 13 weeks along and to make sure everything had passed.

So here I am, 5 months later. Not a day goes by that I don't think about my baby. My due date was Sept 15, only 37 days away. I'm not sure how I will handle it when it comes that day. My best friend found out she was pregnant one week before I found out I was. Her due date is Sept. 16. So this whole time I've been watching her belly grow, and if anything mine has shrunk. I'm not really jealous of her, it just makes me really sad. I haven't said much about it to her, (she has miscarried one aswell) but I'm not sure how I will react when she has her baby. I know I want another one. A girl. I will have my girl one day. I'm not sure when I want to get pregnant again. Part of me does, but then part of me isn't quite ready, or feels its not for the right reason. Another part of me is scared to get pregnant and not get my girl. I felt the miscarriage was a girl and I would be a little heartbroken if I got pregnant soon and it was a boy. I'd still be happy with a healthy baby though.

I thought I was doing really well taking the heartbreak, but it seems the closer to my due date, that harder it is getting. I haven't even had a conversation about it to my parents since it happened, and its hard to talk to my husband about. If I do try to ask my husband about trying again, it seems like he's not being serious. Just wants to do it for the sex. (men!)

So I feel like a little rollercoaster, right now I feel like I'm going down the tracks right now. The ladies here on BG so far have already helped but I fell I need more. I'm open to talking to new people, and any advice on coping I'll take.
Can anyone tell me when they new they were ready to try again?

Quoting krissycates:“ My name is Krissy. I had thought I already introduced myself here but I went through this again and I ... [snip!] ... to talking to new people, and any advice on coping I'll take. Can anyone tell me when they new they were ready to try again?”

Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss. I have a friend that's due 2 weeks before I would've been due and she's got a huge belly and is feeling the baby kick. I'd be halfway through my pregnancy right now and instead I'm getting frustrated with TTC.

Coping is something that's different for everyone. I miscarried during a business trip and had my D&C two days after we came back. I was forced to "get over it" so to say because I couldn't let everyone else see that my world was falling apart. Personally, it helped me to write one final entry in my baby journal. I wrote a letter to my son telling him how much we missed him and how much I wished he was here, but instead he was with God. None of our family knew and just a few of our friends knew so after my D&C, I had to just jump back into life and pretend it never happened. It killed me to have to do it, but in the long run I think it helped.

It's been four months since and we've been TTC for the last three. I had a laparoscopy done with my D&C and found out I have endometriosis so that kind of put a rush on things, but it's been hard. It hasn't happened in a few weeks, but sometimes I get to thinking about things and I'll start to cry. I miss my baby and I can't have him back.

You've got to make the decision as to when it's time to start again. Just do it for the right reasons. Be ready emotionally to be able to deal with another potential miscarriage and know that a new pregnancy and baby won't replace the one you lost. The tears will still come, but over time they'll be fewer and far between (except on the rough days like your due date and the day you miscarried). The ladies here are amazing and we're here for you all the way. *Hugs!*

Quoting MrsDickeyMonster *EB/GIG*:“ Oh sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss. I have a friend that's due 2 weeks before I would've been due ... [snip!] ... days like your due date and the day you miscarried). The ladies here are amazing and we're here for you all the way. *Hugs!*”

Thanks alot! I feel a bit better when I talk about my loss but it seems easier to talk to the ladies on here than my family or husband. that sounds kind of bad to me but I know the ladies her have been through the same. I wish you luck in TTC. I have a friend that I work with and his wife is pregnant (about 15 weeks) and she has endometriosis (sp?) so I know its possible, don't give up hope. And they weren't really trying. I know it will get easier to deal with as time goes by, but some days its just so hard to get my mind off of it when I work 10pm to 6 am, my shift is usually slow so I have alot of time to think to myself.
Part of me is ready to try again, but right now I don't feel emotionally ready to be pregnant again, and another part is not physically ready to raise another baby in addition to my 2 year old. I'm almost done with with my associates degree so that is my goal for right now. I've got till May 09 and I'll have it. I'm thinking I'll atleast be more ready by then to try again.