Just one of those days....

Lately i've been doing pretty good with the whole grieving process. I can smile about my memories of my little girl, and make small preparations for the future. But behind what looks like strength... Im breaking inside! I feel like with every few weeks that go by somehow im brought back to August 10th and im sad all over again. Maybe it's because the holidays are coming up... right after my due date. I dont wanna be around my family for Thanksgiving b/c i should have a newborn to introduce them to. I dont want to be "thankful" this year! Im miserable! And i dont feel like dealing with the sympathy and sad looks from my family that haven't seen me since it all happened. I just wanna curl up in a dark hole somewhere and let time pass. Im crying right now for what seems like no reason..... and it came outta no where. Im mad, sad, lonely, and a million other emotions are running through me at this second. My throat hurts from trying to hold it in, cause im at work and i dont need people thinking that i've lost it. I just needed someplace to let it out.... I know you BG ladies understand.

I'm so sorry momma!!! I don't know what to tell you. You probably don't want to hear a million people tell you to just go on with your life - do the family get togethers and "keep things normal"....besides, how anyone can really do that after losing a child is beyond me anyway...I'm impressed that you are working and managing to hold it together well enough to do that...YAY for you! I would tend to be the one curled up in a dark room for many months and not speaking to ANYONE....but I don't know if thats good advice to give either lol. Everyone grieves differently so you just do what makes you better, whatever that may be.

Don't hold back. let it out. Tell your family how you feel about the holiday's they should understand. The one step forward and 5 steps back is normal. I read somewhere that lossing a child and the grivering proceess is like Nija grivef it just sneaks up and you. I am hear if you need to talk.

Cry honey. It dont matter. You is going thru a tough time right now.It is going to take time to heal. Be thankful that God did give you 16 days with her. But also know that she is smiling down on you and is happy and no longer suffering. As for yourfamily Ibelieve that they is going to be there for you and if you want to talk about her they will. Know that I am hear for you.

Quoting ~*Quella*~:“ Lately i've been doing pretty good with the whole grieving process. I can smile about my memories of ... [snip!] ... and i dont need people thinking that i've lost it. I just needed someplace to let it out.... I know you BG ladies understand.”

I understand mama.
thats just how i feel.
u hide behind smiles but inside your heart has a hole in it.
Feels awful.
I cant even say that it gets better because im not even fully healed....and ill never be.
just stay strong mama.

Quoting ~*Quella*~:“ Lately i've been doing pretty good with the whole grieving process. I can smile about my memories of ... [snip!] ... and i dont need people thinking that i've lost it. I just needed someplace to let it out.... I know you BG ladies understand.”

Hey mama... I know how your feeling...Some days are good for me and some days are awfull.. LIke when I went bacck to work I could just feel tears coming on because Just going back to work made me feel like im moving on... I have had to keep myself together cause I have a one year old still..and I have to be there for her...And sometimes when people asked me about my daughter is just makes me sad cause everyone knew I was pregnant but now I dont have my little girl here with me...When I feel overwhelmed by my feelings I always come here and let it all out..and just knowin that people out there that feel the same way I do and has words of encouragement does make it a little better.

I get that way every now and then myself. The EDD will past andI feel some time of way (Nov 2). It gets easier but youll never forget. Not even if you have another child that emptiness still lingers. I stare at my son sleeping now and notice the faceof his brother. Last saturday I went to a memorial service for my 1stson that my support group has every year. I found myself talking to him the whole day becauseI was hurting and the rain added even more emotion to the day. I have special thingsI like to do on the day he was born like write a note and put in his keepsake box.