re: Kind of touchy D&D

Quoting Rian [go phils!]:“ Definitely a positive way to go about it. At least you're giving her things within reason this way she ... [snip!] ... she doesn't need to go behind your back to make an account somewhere and post things that she probably shouldn't be, ya know?”

Yup.
She's had her issues.
And her dad is an idiot about dealing with them.
But she knows she can talk to me anytime and I'm not gonna put her down or punish her for being upset...or for speaking her mind...or for being different.

Quoting Rian [go phils!]:“ What I mean is, if a parent were to tell their child not to dance that way because it's "inappropriate," ... [snip!] ... times. I just don't think the mind of a child needs to be clouded with shiz like that for another few years. Let 'em be kids.”

i don't think there's a problem w/ explaining sexuality in terms of appropriateness. i will always frame it logically based on what makes sense to my son. e.g. inappropriate = something that adults do and not children. by the time they're big enough to ask why on that point and really mean it, i will then move to the next phase of explanation.

i see how your mom was actually quite a bit too honest-- but again, i don't think what she did was age appropriate honesty.

there much better ways to be honest w/out digging into the scary and harmful details of her life. to equip your child w/ clear understanding of their own sexual rights is important-- to let them know that any adult who wants to touch them has no right, that they should yell, scream, and get away as soon as possible is important, but they certainly don't need to know about the scary gruesome details of someone's rape/molestation.

for me, that's the only time that the "let 'em be kids" rings true-- by not introducing fear unnecessarily into their lives.

i just don't think i'll be framing sexual issues or premature sexual behavior under a blanket of discipline unless it becomes a true consistent problem. it is, after all just human behavior-- even when it happens in children spontaneously. unfortunately, sexual child abuse exists and is often the reason for premature (but not always) sexual exploration... in which case, punishing your child is not only unfair, but harmful to their already confused and hurting psyche.

I didn't show my 7 year old the videos, because I showed my husband first, lol.....
I had told him I was going to show it to Nicaya and see what she would say about it, and he said, "you're not showing her that shit..." Then I said, "Why, what do you think about it? Do you think it's sexual, racial?" He said, "IDK what that is, whatever you wanna call it, racist, sexual, cultural, tribal, whatever... I don't want my daughter dancing like that!!" "That's bullshit. How can you sit there and record your kid dancing like that?"...and then he walked off and said he didn't want to see it anymore....
Soooo, that seems to be the opinion here, lol....

Quoting Suzie *Diosa Venezolana*:“ I didn't show my 7 year old the videos, because I showed my husband first, lol..... I had told him I ... [snip!] ... then he walked off and said he didn't want to see it anymore.... Soooo, that seems to be the opinion here, lol....”

smart man