My miscarriage story...

Me and my fiancee were talking about having a baby and then we finally said "yes lets try to have a baby," and then we thought "everything happens for a reason," so if we got pregnant then it was meant to happen. We didn't try long, it actually only took us a month to get pregnant [my periods were very regular and I knew when I was ovulating and even took ONE ovulation predictor.] My period was supposed to come on September 28th but 2 days before that I had some brown spotting and I thought it was my period because I always spot a little bit of brown then 30 minutes later I start to actually bleed. When my period never came 30 minutes later, I wondered if I was pregnant but I didn't think much of it until 24 hours later my period never showed. So, on September 28th the day my period was supposed to be here, I took a dollar store pregnancy test and it came out positive! The line wasn't to dark so I went out and took 2 First Response, those both came out positive too [I took one that night and one that morning.] The following day after the test I took with my morning urine, I took another test from the dollar store, just to make sure, and sure enough it was positive! The fact of me being pregnant, it didn't hit me right away... but when I kept thinking of it, I started to get more and more excited. I was thinking about my life and how it would be as a mother, I was thinking how labor would be, thinking how it would be to hear my babies heartbeat for the very first time, I was thinking of what the babies sex was, I was thinking on how it would feel to feel my baby kick me for the first time. I was so happy and excited!

On October 3rd, when I went to the bathroom before leaving my house to go to work, I had some slight bleeding, it was nothing serious, and I wasn't even concerned because I read bleeding in early pregnancy was really common. As the day progressed, my bleeding got worse, and I had cramps... that is when I got worried and knew I need to go to the ER right after work. [I also read online that if your miscarrying the bleeding is worse than menstrual bleeding and the cramps are way worse than menstrual cramps, and my menstrual cramps are HORRIBLE and UNBEARABLE and this bleeding and cramping I was experiencing was not even close to how my period is.] When I got to the ER, they got all my information and asked me what was going on and I told them I was pregnant and that I should be about 5 weeks along and I was bleeding. I got in really fast and I'm happy I didn't have to wait. They took my blood pressure, temperature and everything was normal then they took me to the back into my own little area with a curtain. I was asked to change into a gown and to pee in a cup, so I did and I laying there till a nurse came in. The nurse came in and took my blood and gave me an IV, and gave me a pregnancy test with my urine and it came out negative at first with the urine [after the test sat there for 30 minutes then the positive showed up on the test.] The doctor then came in and gave me a pelvic exam, he said he spotted some bleeding but my cervix was still closed and that was a good sign! I had a little bit of relief when he said that. After sitting there for another hour and a half, an ultrasound tech came down and got me to give me an ultrasound. She gave me an ultrasound on my stomach and she also gave me a vaginal ultrasound, and as she was giving me my vaginal ultrasound, I was looking at the screen and I swear I seen my baby or I thought I did. She kept taking pictures but she was not saying anything to me, and after being in that room for about a hour she took me back to my fiancee. I was laying in my small little curtained area for another hour before the nurse and doctor came back, they gave me an rH shot just in case me and the baby didn't share them same blood type. After all of that, the nurse and doctor said that my blood tests do confirm I was pregnant, but my hcg horomone at the number it was at would only make me 2 weeks pregnant when technically I was supposed to be 5 weeks pregnant. I had no idea what was going on really, I was thinking maybe I conceived later than I thought but that wasn't the case. I was put on 72 hours of bed rest, was diagnosed with a Threatened Miscarriage and was told to make a doctors appointment and to go in the next week, I was also told not to come back to the hospital unless I was filling more than 1 pad a hour, and I wasn't even filling one pad a day, not even the day I went into the ER.

After being on 72 hours of bed rest, missing class, and missing work... I thought that there could have been a chance my baby was okay! I did everything that I was told by the doctor at the hospital. The whole time I was trying to be positive, and trying to put the bad thoughts in the back of my mind, but I still had the question "what if I really am having a miscarriage."

On October 12, I finally had my doctors appointment! I went in feeling confident! They took my blood so they could test my horomone levels to what they were at the hospital to see if they were increasing how they were supposed to or if they were decreasing [It was the only way they could tell if it was a miscarriage and I had to wait a day or two for the results.] They gave me an ultrasound too, but they couldn't see anything, I was hurt. The nurse said I should be 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant and something should have shown up on the ultrasound. As the doctor was talking to me, he was explaining everything and was telling me how common it was for your first pregnancy to end in a miscarriage and it was completely normal. He said it wasn't because there is something wrong with me or my partner it just happens for some unknown reason besides it being the body ending an unhealthy pregnancy. In my mind everyday, I still wonder what is wrong with me, my baby died, my body ended the life of my baby.

On October 14th they called me with my horrible news. I was at work [my finacee and I work together] and when my phone rang, my heart just dropped and my mind was going in a million directions. I couldn't figure out if I wanted to pick up the phone and just have them leave a voicemail or what but I knew I needed to pick up the phone. I went into the backroom and I closed the door and picked the call up, and the nurse said "Your not pregnant." The blood test didn't pick up the hormone at all and I had a complete miscarriage and my hormones went back to 0. The nurse though, she was a bitch and couldn't and wouldn't answer any of my questions [I have a doctors appt on the 30th so I am going to ask my doctor, I want answers already.] But, when I walked out of the backroom and I looked at my fiancee I just broke down and I was trying so hard to hold it in but I couldn't, I just had to let it go. He wanted to hug me but couldn't because we both would have just lost it together and we had to keep it together at work. I was honestly shocked at his reaction, I didn't think he would care, but the fact he said "I cant hug you because I will cry too," made me feel so much better, that I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

That night when I got home, I just cried and cried. I was trying to understand why god took my baby from me, where I went wrong, what did I do? I was never going to hear the heartbeat of my baby, never feel my baby kick me for the first time, never know the sex of my baby, I just couldn't believe it and just didn't understand it. I will never understand. I just want my baby in my stomach and I just want to protect him/her with my body. Does god have some kind of better plan for me? Or did he think I wasn't ready to take care of a baby? All these questions run through my mind everyday. I know I would have made a good parent, and would have loved my child unconditionally.



Its been 2 weeks later since I found out I had a miscarriage, I am dealing with it everyday and it is getting easier. I will be blessed again by one of god's greatest gifts. I still want a baby with my fiancee, I am just trying to figure out if this is the right time especially with it being so soon since I miscarried. I think about my baby everyday and I will never let this go and I will never forgive myself for whatever I did wrong. I know it's not good to blame myself, but until I have more answers from my doctor, thats all I can do....

I should be 8 weeks 3 days pregnant, and it breaks my heart....

I am sorry mama

*hugs*

I'm so sorry.  

im so sorry for your loss mama! i hope things get better for you!

i'm so sorry... when i had my first miscarriage... i really didn't know what to do or how to feel. i was so upset...but i decided to write a letter to my baby and tell him/her how i was feeling and how much i missed him/her and it helped me deal with grieving process.

i hope things start to get easier for you. i know it took a lot from you to write your story... there are a lot of girls on here that have gone through a loss and we're all here for you!

Im so so sry about your loss mama. God will bless you with a miracle one day.

I'm so sorry about your precious angel. I too lost a little one when I was 18. I was 12 weeks along when I had brown spotting and it turned into cramping and horrible bleeding. I was devastated.

On my due date..oct 29th 2006 I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. She is beautiful. If I hadn't lost that angel, I wouldn't have the one I enjoy everyday now. Everything happens for a reason, and it's not your fault. Sometimes the egg is compromised, sometimes a bad sperm gets the egg, and the body aborts because it knows something will be wrong with the baby.

This may sound heartless, but it is meant with so much love. It may have been better that you lost your baby, than to have it born with a deformity that would have made it a short painful life. i.e. spinal bifida among other defects. (I am in NO WAY saying there is anything wrong with special needs children.) Sometimes the body intervenes for a reason. It's nothing you did wrong. NOTHING. I had to learn this too.

I pray your pain lessens, and that you are put at peace when you talk to your doctor.

Quoting louboo:“ Me and my fiancee were talking about having a baby and then we finally said "yes lets try to have a baby," ... [snip!] ... I have more answers from my doctor, thats all I can do.... I should be 8 weeks 3 days pregnant, and it breaks my heart....”

My story was similar i got my positive result on sept 8th id be 11 weeks 2 days with my twins. I had the first ultrasound after 3 days of bleeding. found out i was having twins. and then lost them the same day OCT 22nd. They took my blood as well and i dropped from 8,000 to 400 in 3 days. i was really upset and i have a 19month old already. The thing is what are the chances of having twins again   Im sorry this happend to us. I hope you try again soon.My dr. told me MOST mis carrages are cause by our body detecting something wrong with out babies. Stay positive. we are here if you have any questions. i lost my twins on oct 22 2009. im still hurt and it kills me but i know we can try again. Good luck.

Quoting Baby Moma of 3:“ My story was similar i got my positive result on sept 8th id be 11 weeks 2 days with my twins. I had ... [snip!] ... you have any questions. i lost my twins on oct 22 2009. im still hurt and it kills me but i know we can try again. Good luck.”

Twins? Aw, I'm so sorry. I hope and pray next time we both have healthy babies. It just sucks to be so excited for something and then all the sudden everything is taken from you. We will both come out of this stronger than we were before this, it will defiantly take time to heal our hearts. I don't know when we will start trying again but hopefully soon.

Quoting Shandelic:“ I'm so sorry about your precious angel. I too lost a little one when I was 18. I was 12 weeks along when ... [snip!] ... NOTHING. I had to learn this too. I pray your pain lessens, and that you are put at peace when you talk to your doctor.”

Aw, well congrats on your beautiful daughter   But, I totally understand where you are coming from in your post. [No offense to anyone with a special needs child] but I couldn't picture myself being in that situation, at all. I can't imagine how hard it would be! So, you do have a really good point, I guess it is better for the body to reject the pregnancy rather than having to go through heartache knowing your child has something wrong with him/her.

I will overcome this! This was my first pregnancy and I was so excited and it just have my baby taken away from me, it kind of... you know? I don't have the words for it.

But, thank you! You did make me feel better  

Quoting :.Sara Beara.:.TWW!:“ *hugs* I'm so sorry.  ”

Im so sorry for your lost i went through the same last june! trust me i cried for three days straight until my eyes started hurting.. i know its hard but just pray to god and your baby is in a better place now and i wish you and your fiance the best :[

im sorry, just keep telling yourself... god has a different plan