The "true you"

Just something I've noticed that a lot of people don't seem to realize... so I wanted to point it out.

Human beings do not have one "essential self", there is no one "you" that is the "real you". We are all human beings with infinite (ok, not infinite, but so huge it seems infinite in our minds) possibilities, different strengths and weaknesses, able to more or less fluidly go from one "self" to another "self" depending upon circumstances.

I say this because I see so many people saying that because someone acts one way in one situation, and another way in another situation, that they must be "acting" or "lying" or something like that... and sometimes, sure, people are putting on a show, but most of the time people are just being what makes the most sense for them to be according to the situation.

To put this into an example that might make it make more "sense"... imagine you like both quilting and violent video games. When you are with your quilting circle, it's unlikely that you're going to start talking about the latest violent video game you just purchased, you'll likely discuss quilting or other placid subjects, your demeanor will be more suitable to a calm activity like quilting. Later that night, when you're with your buddies playing said violent video game, you're probably not going to get into the new quilting stitch you learned earlier, you're probably going to talk about gaming, you're probably going to be a bit more energetic and keyed up, and you might start letting insults fly that you wouldn't think of uttering to your quilting buddies ("I just pwned your ass, noob!").

So, is one of those the "true you" and the other is just an act, or are both of them equally true representations of who you are, depending upon when you are in a certain place, with certain people, doing certain activities?

C

The only time you're putting on a face is when you're lying to your self. But, if you do that lie enough, it becomes you. Like, if you say you don't like the color purple when you really do, your resentment you have for your self for lying about your likes will be taken out on the color and suddenly, one day, you really won't like purple.

People have so many different personalities, that it's hard to describe someone one way.

I'm not sure I have an answer for this one.

I agree, the true you doesn't have to mean you only act 1 certain way with everyone you talk to all the time. Its okay to have different interests and in a way, different personalities depending on what you are doing.

For example, you miss out on something you were looking forward to, you are sad. You mope around and pout a little. Then say, a parent dies. You are inconsolable. You weren't "acting" sad when you missed out on something you were looking forward to just because you reacted differently, but different circumstances and environments call for different behavior.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:



Sums it up nicely.  

I think it's entirely possible for someone to have multiple "personalities" for lack of a better word.
I have many interests and act differently in many situations. For instance, I am/act a certain way at work, I am crude, rude, and aggressive, and I hang with "the guys" I work with.
When I am home, I have a circle of female friends and we make bows and talk girl shit. I am compassionate, caring, and calm when I'm around my friends.
I really don't feel either is an "act" or "fake", I think I just have different sides to my personality.

Quoting PO-PO.:“ I think it's entirely possible for someone to have multiple "personalities" for lack of a better word. ... [snip!] ... around my friends. I really don't feel either is an "act" or "fake", I think I just have different sides to my personality.”

I do this. The bad part is when the 'guys' attitude doesn't stop before I'm with the girls.

Just like on BG - Some times I curse like a sailor and yell at noobs. Some times I'm sweet and happy and helpful. Doesn't mean that one time is specifically me, just means I'm a bi-polar crazy snatch.  

I think there are many layers of who we truely are.

Quoting Dr. J {The Socialist.}:“ I do this. The bad part is when the 'guys' attitude doesn't stop before I'm with the girls. Just like ... [snip!] ... I'm sweet and happy and helpful. Doesn't mean that one time is specifically me, just means I'm a bi-polar crazy snatch.  ”

LOL same here! Sometimes I will cuss someone out in a post just because they are stupid and then go into the next post and offer sweet and helpful advice.
Maybe we are all just bi-polar... lol.

I think everyone has different layers of their true self that they show to people depending on interests, mood, relationship, etc.

For example, I do not show my children the same side of me that I show my friends.

I think having a multi-faceted life is a part of being a human and being aware of your surroundings.

I would never talk to my school teachers, for example, the same way that I talk to my husband. When I am at work, I don't show any parts of my personal life nor do I act the same way with a customer as I would with a friend. While my friends might find my Stewie Griffin impression hilarious, I highly doubt the VP of my company would.

I think that we all have different aspects of ourselves - that doesn't make them fake, it just makes them different.

Quoting God:“ Just something I've noticed that a lot of people don't seem to realize... so I wanted to point it out. ... [snip!] ... of who you are, depending upon when you are in a certain place, with certain people, doing certain activities? C”

We debated this ALOT in school, in Philosophy, etc. I think there is a true, core, "you" for everyone. A basic foundation if you will.

Quoting G.E.L.:“ I think everyone has different layers of their true self that they show to people depending on interests, ... [snip!] ... on interests, mood, relationship, etc. For example, I do not show my children the same side of me that I show my friends.”

Yeah, totally. If my girl friends saw the way I acted at work, they would be like  

I think.. you're right.

humans are able to adapt to different sitations.

sure people lie.
but just b/c you act a different way in a different setting... doesn't mean you're lying.



if my SO were to see me at work i think he'd laugh at me b/c im all 'serious' but at home.. im far from.. but that doesn't mean i am acting at work or acting at home.. im 'me' in both sitations... just 'me' adapted to the surroundings.

Quoting Dr. J {The Socialist.}:“ The only time you're putting on a face is when you're lying to your self. But, if you do that lie enough, ... [snip!] ... have so many different personalities, that it's hard to describe someone one way. I'm not sure I have an answer for this one.”

I so much agree.

I would hate for their not to be more than one self  

Quoting Dr. J {The Socialist.}:“ I do this. The bad part is when the 'guys' attitude doesn't stop before I'm with the girls. Just like ... [snip!] ... I'm sweet and happy and helpful. Doesn't mean that one time is specifically me, just means I'm a bi-polar crazy snatch.  ”

I giggle sometimes when other members get into arguments over whether or not I'm a bitch or a nice helpful person... one is adamant that I'm nothing but a heinous bitch who does nothing but attack people, and the other is equally adamant that they've never seen me say one cross word and that I'm the friendliest person they've ever met...

Because, of course, I'm both depending upon circumstance.

heh

C.