Bad Mom??

Not sure if this is where to post this but here goes:

I have a four year-old and when she comes back from spending time with her father, she acts horrible. He's been teaching her to say bad words because he thinks it's funny. She's been calling me a b*tch a lot lately.

Anyway, the other night, she was sitting beside me and said, "Mommy, you're a bitch." I told her to stop. She did it again. I swatted her butt. The third time she called me a b*tch, I got out a finger tip-worth of soap and stuck it in her mouth. That's what my parents and grandparents did to us growing up if we said bad words. It worked, but I felt horrible for it. I told her father what I did and he said it was child abuse (mind you, he's the one who's encouraging the potty mouth) and said if he found out that I did it again, he'd report me.

So is this child abuse? This is the first time I've used soap in her mouth and felt bad. So in your opinion, does this make me a bad mom?

Uhm, I wouldn't stick soap in my son's mouth, and I don't think it's okay, but I don't care what anyone else do to their child.

i dont think so. its disrespectful to be that young and calling her mom that. its just soap. i used to get soap put in my mouth.

i DO the same thing. and if that dont work a little taste of hot sauce does.

My mom put soap in my mouth. As far as 'child abuse' I have no idea. But perhaps another form of punishment could be used...like time outs, or losing a favorite toy?

It's not abuse, but if you want to go the soap route, don't use liquid soap (an overdose is possible, even in small amounts) use a bar soap that has no smells or anything like that.

And stop letting her go to her dads house, lol. I'de freak if my daughter called me a bitch.

it's not child abuse my parents did it and she needs to respect her mother and learn that's not ok she can't go around calling every woman she see's a bitch cause Daddy does tell him to fuck off

Quoting MommaAllie:“ Not sure if this is where to post this but here goes: I have a four year-old and when she comes back ... [snip!] ... child abuse? This is the first time I've used soap in her mouth and felt bad. So in your opinion, does this make me a bad mom?”

Not sure i would do the soap, next time try hot sauce, the lady that lived next door to me did a hot pepper, she'd cut one and touch it to the tongue. Soap just makes me nervous. I go through the same thing, not the cursing but with my 3 1/2 yr old, we trade a week at a time and it definitely takes a day or two to retrain her brain!!!!! Shes a very good girl but her dad doesnt exactly do the right things with her, like a set bedtime, or feeding her the right stuff. It wasnt fun having a fight with a 3 1/2 yr old because she wanted to stay up and watch Conan O'Brian, i mean seriously, WTF???

idk if they would consider it child abuse, everything is now adays

i remember as a child getting my ass beat and if i was even a lil fresh off the the bathroom to get a mouth full of soap. It did work, i sure as hell watched my mouth and even to this day i wont say anything worse than ass in front of my family  

I don't think it's child abuse. I'm pretty sure I could name off a LOT worse you could do to your child.... I can't say that I'd never do it either, my daughter is only 14 months, and hasn't done something bad enough to need to be punished....yet lol.

Just don't tell your ex how you choose to punish her from now on I guess. What happens at your house really has nothing to do with him, as long as she's not in any harm, which she obviously isn't.

I don't see it as a form of child absuse, I mean it's just soap. Your not making her eat the whole bar or anything, you just put a little tiny bit in her mouth so that she would get the point to not say bad words. I would do the same thing if the spanking didnt work.

i wouldn't say its abuse but i would use other means of punishment other than soap in the mouth even though that's what my mom used on me and my siblings but...my daughter hates the corner...so that's what i use as discipline. she has a little chair that sits in the corner of my living room and she gets 3 strikes. 3rd strike she gets timeout chair... and if she cries while shes in the corner and refuses to stop throwing a fit i warn her 3 times again. if she doesn't listen she goes straight to her room.

I would be putting her in the corner, or in her room without the lights on.
That would piss me off. lol

Well according to social services, yes it is child abuse. Although, spanking is not abuse if your fingers are spread.
In my opinion though, anything that could hurt a child is child abuse and soap is potentially poison and a choking hazard.

I had that happen to me a few times when i was younger. i wouldn't let my little boy go to his dad's if he was coming back and saying i was a bitch. but now this day and age.. your not even suppose to be spanking your child.. kuz they are saying thats child abuse now.. its messed up and really.. her dad is the one who needs to be reported. kuz she is going to want to do nothing but bad after that.. soon she will be outta control