Follow my story...(Abortion, loong!!!!)

oy story begins in late September, 20th to be precise. I'm waiting for the dreaded AF to arrive, she should show her ugly face any day now. The days came and went 21st, 22nd, 23rd....I am still breastfeeding so i suppose my cycle could still be a little messed up...24th, 25th, 26th, 27th....This is getting too late....28th, 29th, 30th!
1st of October i head down to the shops and pick up a dual pack of pregnancy tests.
All the way home i was thinking of excuses to why it would be negative, i wanted it to be negative so it must be? Maybe i have been stressing too much about it? Maybe..Maybe...Maybe!
I get home and straight away i head towards the toilet, i sit down pee on the stick and wait.
My daughter who is almost 1 year old is sitting with me oblivious to the stress and worry i am going through, to young to know the HUGE mistake i could have made.
I looked into the clear window of the test and there sitting plain to see were TWO bright pink lines.
My heart sank into my stomach and my throat was choked and i began to cry. I was so full of anger i began to shake and shout when there out of the corner of my eye i saw my daughter sitting there looking up at me as if to say 'Whats wrong?' i wiped my eyes straight away, picker her up, held her tight in my arms and kissed her over and over and told her how much i loved her.
I made my decision instantly, Abortion was my only choice!
Keeping this baby was not an option at all, i wasnt ready emotionally or financially and it was not fair to do this to my daughter at all and as for Adoption for me personally that is NEVER an option.
For the next week or so i tried to ignore my situation and stupidly just try and wish it away, obviously this was never going to happen no matter how hard i wished and prayed.
After a week or so i rang the doctor to make an appt. Wednesday okay? Sure!
Wednesday came and i cancelled i was to nervous, i didnt want to go, i didnt want anybody to see me and wonder why i was there. Again the next couple of days i ignored my situation and wished harder and harder for the baby to disappear or hope that the whole situation was a big mistake.
I rang the doctor and made another appt, Tuesday?  Fine...
Tuesday came i had a sinking feeling in my tummy all day until my appt time arrived. i Put my daughter in her Buggy and walked to the doctors surgery.
I went in to see the doctor, sat down and there was a student doctor present, i gave my permission for him to stay and requested a termination.
He made sure that i had made the right choice and i told him i was 100% so he began to fill in the forms and booked an appt at the hospital for the following week.
The appt was today i arrived a little late and sat in the waiting room twiddling my thumbs. A lady with short hair ushered me into a tiny room with 2 chairs and a table with little russian dolls on, i was so nervous i couldnt take my eyes off them. She was a counsiller and asked me if there was anything i wanted to discuss or ask i said no so she asked me a few things, 'Have you talked to anybody about your decision?', No, 'Are you sure this is was you want?', positive!
I was then sent upstairs to another waiting room i sat watching the t.v until a lady took me to a room with a doctor.
He asked me for the letter from my doctor so i handed it over and he asked me to sign a form for a medical abortion but because i am breastfeeding this method was not possible so i signed to consent to a surgical vaccuum termination.
The doctor carried out an internal scan and connfirmed i was 8 weeks pregnant.
I was then sent to another room were a lady took my details and said she would call me with details of when the termination will take place.
I am now playing the waiting game. i am so nervous about the surgery but to be perfectly honest i just want it over and done with so i can move on with my life, i have no feelings whatsoever towards this baby i am pregnant with and i feel i have 100% made the right choice.
i will carry on with the remainder of my story when i have been through it to tell.

So you are in the office now?

Quoting .C.:“ oy story begins in late September, 20th to be precise. I'm waiting for the dreaded AF to arrive, she ... [snip!] ... i feel i have 100% made the right choice. i will carry on with the remainder of my story when i have been through it to tell.”

  

so did you do it? i'm sorry but i'm not applauding you at all.

I will keep you in my thoughts hun

Quoting Booperelli:“ So you are in the office now?”

No im at home

Wow, just wow.

Quoting Smex! Wax that ass:“ I will keep you in my thoughts hun”

Thank you

Quoting Rainbow NotSoBrite★:“ so did you do it? i'm sorry but i'm not applauding you at all.”

She didnt ask you to applaud her

Quoting HAMommy™:“   ”

i know im dumb...why'd i open this? hoping itd say you didnt do it? who knows....its just sad.

Quoting Booperelli:“ So you are in the office now?”

 I think she is waiting for themn to call her w/ her appointment for the procedure.

Quoting Rainbow NotSoBrite★:“ so did you do it? i'm sorry but i'm not applauding you at all.”

  Its sad, it seems like shes looking for a high five or something.

Quoting Smex! Wax that ass:“ She didnt ask you to applaud her”

 

Quoting .C.:“ No im at home”

Oh, I see, you're waiting for your appointment. I gotcha