My heart is in pieces

After everything I've been through, this is how it ends. On September 28th, I found out that I was expecting a baby, I was so scared and so happy at the same time when I found out. Then October 3rd I start bleeding and went into the ER, they couldn't help me, he was the WORST doctor ever. My cervix was closed, I was put on 72 hours of bed rest, I couldn't lift anything, or do anything. The ER said not to come back if I wasn't filling more than one pad a hour, I was filling one pad a day if that. I had a doctors appointment on Friday, October 9th and it got rescheduled to this Monday. They took my blood, gave me an ultrasound and said I should be 6 weeks and 2 days pregnant. The doctor prescribed me prenatal vitamins, and that is the one thing that gave me hope that my baby was okay, the prescription. My doctor had to get my information from the ER and compare my blood samples to each other, to see if my hCG was rising accordingly.

Today at work, I got the call. I was so nervous but I was hoping that everything was okay. But, the news was.... I wasn't pregnant anymore, and I miscarried. My heart just broke into pieces, and I couldn't believe it. I am trying to understand why, what happened, and where did I go wrong. Did god have a better plan for me? I started thinking about my future and how I finally had my own family and that was taken from me. I even just went out and bought a pregnancy test because I couldn't believe it and it came out negative, which killed me and broke my heart more. I was starting to get so excited and then.... this, this happens to me for a reason I can't figure out. I wish I could bring my baby back and put it back in my stomach and watch it grow, listen to his or her heart beat for the first time, I wish I could feel my baby move for the first time, I wish I could find out the gender of it.... I wish for so many things. I just can't believe it and my heart is so broken....

I am so sorry hun

I'm so sorry sweetie.

IM SO SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT...

I know it sounds so cliche, but I really am so sorry for your loss. I know how difficult it is, but it will get better. You asked if God had a better plan for you, and perhaps He does. I believe that He is in control of everything and it all happens for a reason. I have lost 3 babies and had it not been for my loss in 2007, I wouldn't know my daughter Morgan (17 months now). She was conceived just 3 months after my loss and I would have still been pregnant with my other baby. I cannot imagine not having her in my life, she fits perfectly in our little family. Keep your head up and stay strong. I wish you the best.

So sorry mama.

It'll be hard for the first few months. Keep your chin up. It happened to me with my first pregnancy and this is now my second pregnancy and everything is going very well.Hang in there for about 2 months after everything passed and you can go on and try again. It'll come before you know it.

I'm so sorry mama!

aww.. im soo sorry. that exact thing happened to me. but God does have a better plan for you or He wouldn't have taken your baby from you.

I am so sorry to hear that! It would be very hard and heartbreaking i'm sure.
god bless!

Thanks everyone for the support. This is one of the hardest things to deal with but I have learned to accept what has happened. There is nothing I can do to bring my angel baby back and I know that he/she is watching down on me and my fiancee. I think about the loss everyday at some point, but I have to move forward with my life. One day, I'll have the joy of watching my baby grow but that time is not now, and I am okay with it.