Is it offensive....

This is probably debateable, but I think you can form a better opinion if you've actually had a preemie, so I'll ask it here.

I've heard more times than I can remember "Oh you're so lucky, you didn't have to get all big and uncomfortable" or "ugh, you have no idea what this is like, you should be so glad you got to skip it!". I know the end of pregnancy is hard and feels never ending for a lot of women, so I normally kind of brush it off. Yesterday though a girl that works with my husband told him that I'm so lucky I didn't have to get so big. It might just be because I don't really like the girl, but I was so offended. I feel certain that watching my baby in the NICU is infinitely harder than the last few weeks of pregnancy going to term. Someone with a healthy baby will NEVER understand what that is like. To say I'm 'lucky' is kind of absurd.

Soooo...do you find it offensive? Would you be offended is someone who knew all you'd been through said this to you?

I would be and I haven't had a premmie luckily. I can completely see where you're coming from.

I would, yes. I hate when people bitch and moan about the end of the pregnancy. Yes, it's rough. But, get over it. I'd rather "get big" than watch my child in the NICU.

People don't really use their head.

My son was a preemie and was also in the NICU for a week...I would be HIGHLY offended if someone said that to me. I would have LOVED to make it to 40 weeks...I'd even go to 41 if it meant my son would have come out healthy. I was a complete mess seeing him in the NICU...that is such an absurd, inconsiderate comment for her to have made.

Quoting J e s s i c a:“ This is probably debateable, but I think you can form a better opinion if you've actually had a preemie, ... [snip!] ... Soooo...do you find it offensive? Would you be offended is someone who knew all you'd been through said this to you?”

the only thing "lucky" about having a preemie is if the baby is healthy and thriving thats the "lucky" part. does this chick have kids?

yeah id be a bit irked. I felt the same way when I came out of the hospital in my wheelchair after my c-section and a lady says.."oh you had it easy" I wanted to smack her. Ive done it both ways..and they both hurt like hell.

Quoting J e s s i c a:“ This is probably debateable, but I think you can form a better opinion if you've actually had a preemie, ... [snip!] ... Soooo...do you find it offensive? Would you be offended is someone who knew all you'd been through said this to you?”

I think that it is rude but I bet when people say it they are not thinking about the other end of the spectrum. They are just thinking that you did not have to carry full term therefor you will not get as big.... I really doubt they think of the pain and heartbreak that goes along with seeing your baby hooked up to monitors. Id just let it go... People just dont think before they talk.

Quoting M e g a n♥KDV[PTM]:“ I would, yes. I hate when people bitch and moan about the end of the pregnancy. Yes, it's rough. But, ... [snip!] ... Yes, it's rough. But, damn. I'd rather "get big" than watch my child in the NICU. People don't really use their thinkers.”

It's seriously everybody. Even my best friend of 14 years has said this to me. I just don't get how they could not see that I paid my dues...just in a way different way than they did.

Quoting J e s s i c a:“ It's seriously everybody. Even my best friend of 14 years has said this to me. I just don't get how they could not see that I paid my dues...just in a way different way than they did.”

SMH, and they have kids?

Quoting M e g a n♥KDV[PTM]:“ Do they have kids? Or been through pregnancy?”

Yup. They usually say it at the end of their pregnancies of course.

It's just a weird thing to say I think. I get that people don't feel my heartache and know how much pain the whole scenario holds for me...but it seems like they'd have a clue...ya know?

Quoting J e s s i c a:“ Yup. They usually say it at the end of their pregnancies of course. It's just a weird thing to ... [snip!] ... feel my heartache and know how much pain the whole scenario holds for me...but it seems like they'd have a clue...ya know?”

Yeah, I've never had a preemie, but my fiance's uncle's son was born at 26 weeks. So, of course I was around it, and I saw how much heartache his Uncle went through.

I totally understand where you're coming from.

Well at least I'm not completely irrational for thinkings its BS  

Quoting J e s s i c a:“ Yup. They usually say it at the end of their pregnancies of course. It's just a weird thing to ... [snip!] ... feel my heartache and know how much pain the whole scenario holds for me...but it seems like they'd have a clue...ya know?”

Their hormones are probably just getting to them. I'm sure that they don't mean it in a bad way. You know full term babies can be sick too. My friend went a week over due with her daughter. Her daughter had a heart defect and they had to race her to a hospital 2 1/2 hrs away. It was several days until my friend could see her because of her section. I felt so bad for her.

Quoting I ♥ These 4!:“ They're hormones are probably just getting to them. I'm sure that they don't mean it in a bad way. You ... [snip!] ... to a hospital 2 1/2 hrs away. It was several days until my friend could see her because of her section. I felt so bad for her.”

Any baby can be sick - I know that. None of these people had sick babies though. They had big, beautiful healthy babies.

Quoting J e s s i c a:“ This is probably debateable, but I think you can form a better opinion if you've actually had a preemie, ... [snip!] ... Soooo...do you find it offensive? Would you be offended is someone who knew all you'd been through said this to you?”

Shit, I've never had a preemie and I think it's offensive! Of course, I may jokingly say that if I knew the person well enough.