Does anyone else not get along with your in laws?

I hate it. Me and my fiance family used to be so close. But I never got along with his brothers girlfriend. Not because I didn't like her, just the fact that they would tell me she would talk about me, just a bunch of immature stuff. She would always talk about my fiance, it was strange kind of like she had a thing for him. But anyways slowly but surely me and his mom stopped from being close. It was more because his mom and I both have very strong opinions and are both very blunt. Well I would always hear his mom and sisters opinions and just listened, whether I liked them or not, in one ear out the other. Then one day I got tired of it and decided to put my two sense in. OMG... they did not like that, it all went down hill from the day. One day his mom was watching one of daughters but I had forgot to leave the carseat, so I decided to bring it to her on my break from work. My pregnant co-worker decided to go with me because we were going to have lunch. We took her car. Well I dropped off the carseat and left. All of a sudden, his mom texts me {after she was ignoring me for more than a month wouldn't answer my calls or texts, even missed my daughters 1st bday} well she says, "who was that guy that brought you hear" I was like is she serious? It got so bad because she went and told my fiance "she says it wasn't a guy but it sure looked like one" my man didn't believe her cuz he knew the girl. But thats the day she started the drama. My fiance is half mexican half black. His mom being black, his dad being Mexican. Well she started getting racist and calling me white trash, hoe, slut, snotty nose bitch. You name it, she called me it. For no reason. I admit I did call her a bitch because I couldn't believe she was calling me all these names like an immature 15 year old girl. Another inncident, my fiance had lost his phone and I was trying to get a hold of him because he needed to get the baby from my moms house. So his moms house is close to my work and I knew he was there, I hesitated going because how she is being but this was about my daughter. So I drove by and my mans car was there I called her house phone to talk to him and she hung up on me then went outside on her cell talking about how I am her sons stalker and I am a dumb white bitch. I'm like are you serious lady, I'm the mother of his children, he lives with me, we're engaged, we have a relationship and I'm his stalker wow. She just kept saying "your mama", {immature}. That following weekend she calls my phone and leaves a message saying "you dumb white trash desperate ass whore, I am so sad that I don't have the courage to tell my son to get a DNA test because that's not my grand baby and you were fucking 2 guys at once" wow again I couldn't believe it. That lady knows damn well this is his baby, they look like twins for one, for two she was the one who would say aint no denying this baby and call her manuelita {my mans name is manuel}. So pretty much his mom is trying to tear us apart at this point. Well it gets worse... the brothers stupid girlfriend gets a hold of my family {i dont know how, seeing shes never met my family} and tells them all kinds of lies that my man beats me and what not. They're going to the extreme. It was bad enough my mom didn't really like my man for who knows why then this. My mom was like even though this isnot true I just wanted to let you know that I can't standManuel. Then his sisters and mom tell me " you think we care that were not going to see Iliana anymore, well we have other grandchildren"So now on holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas especially, what the hell am I going to do?? Do we just have our own little thing? I know it's going to kill my mom not see my kids on holidays but at the same time if she's going to be rude to my man and make him feel uncomfortable then I can't have that. And his family they already said they could care less if they see the girls. I know this is real long so if you read it thanx, I just needed to vent and the holidays are coming up.

I hate to say this, but it sounds like your familys will end up ripping you two apart. It is very hard to stay together when your family hates your SO or you hate your in laws. I've had words with my MIL and the best advice I have is grin and bear it. Just be nice no matter what she says. Kill them with kindness. Once they see that they aren't getting to you, they will chill out with the stupidity. Good luck momma.

WOW...just wow...  I cant believe how two faced like she is!!! What a big bag of stinky cunts she is being (MIL).

Quoting MiddayHavoc:“ I hate to say this, but it sounds like your familys will end up ripping you two apart. It is very hard ... [snip!] ... them with kindness. Once they see that they aren't getting to you, they will chill out with the stupidity. Good luck momma.”

I know and that sucks and makes me cry to think of that. But his sisters recently said they cant stand Manuel for not backing up his mom and are better without him in their life. My man hasn't been to his families house in awhile and says he doesn't plan on going because they're so much drama and seems like they're trying to make him choose which is not right. They said if they even see me by their house they will call the police. I'm like are you serious. So I don't plan on going there ever again honestly.

Quoting {{MRS CASTR0}}:“ I hate it. Me and my fiance family used to be so close. But I never got along with his brothers girlfriend. ... [snip!] ... if they see the girls. I know this is real long so if you read it thanx, I just needed to vent and the holidays are coming up.”

Families are so fucked up sometimes - and its the women that do it to eachother. Do you really want your daughters to be a part of this stupidity?? - I wouldn't - and you can take a year out and let the dust settle a bit about the gatherings and stuff - I would not allow them to babysit for your girls though - after a while, and the dust settles down, Im sure rational minds will prevail and if that means you and your husband made the choice to do your own thing, well then do that for a year or so - you will see other family members breaking off the ice berg and float over to you - do you have brothers and sisters - cause surely they will all not have that shitty attitude - and for all you know, they are also so very sick and tired of hearing this and would rather have peace, quiet, respectful company like yourselves - and eventualy they too will have kids for your kids to play with, and it will eventually readjust itself - and the bitches will be on one team (gathering) and the nice people will have their own gathering, and everyone is happy...........

Quoting {{MRS CASTR0}}:“ I know and that sucks and makes me cry to think of that. But his sisters recently said they cant stand ... [snip!] ... see me by their house they will call the police. I'm like are you serious. So I don't plan on going there ever again honestly.”

Wow that's a little extreme. They sound VERY immature. Have you ever tried to sit down and have a serious talk about it with his mom?

Quoting MiddayHavoc:“ Wow that's a little extreme. They sound VERY immature. Have you ever tried to sit down and have a serious talk about it with his mom?”

Tried that. She says I don't want to talk to you Bitch. I have no words for you. So hey I tried being the bigger person, more then once. I had let it go. But it's all starting to get to me.

Wow. Where is the maturity now-a-days? Even if you were with a guy.. it could have been a co worker or a friend and you guys were going to lunch together. Who freaking cares! It's not like you were makin out in the lawn or anything! god! lol. I dont understand why women can't have male friends anymore!! [I know it was a woman, but still.. it irritates me. lol]
Well, you can't reallyblame your family.. someone came to them and told them your SO was beating you. Yes, they said they believe he didnt.. but deep down inside.. they probably do believe it.
Why doesn't your SO do anything? I mean it's not that his family doesn't like you.. but they're harassing you. Calling you names. Calling your family. My SO's brother and his girlfriend were doing shit like that and he cut them out of his life after telling them that if they don't quit it he'd do it.. Sure enough they couldn't shut the eff up. lol. As for his Mom.. he needs to tell her that she'll loose her son and that you're a part of the family whether she likes it or not and that you have a child/children together. Someone needs to tell her she doesn't have to like you but she can't talk to you like that and she can't talk about your daughter that way.

Wow thats really sad but its pretty much for the best if your girls are not around them. I wouldnt want any drama to rub off on them!

Quoting cougargagagl:“ Families are so fucked up sometimes - and its the women that do it to eachother. Do you really want ... [snip!] ... the bitches will be on one team (gathering) and the nice people will have their own gathering, and everyone is happy...........”

Yes, I have one sister that has no kids but loves my kids to death and says shes not involved in the drama. He has two sisters and two brothers. All against me except his older sister, she just says she doesn't want to be involved. They haven't seen my girls in months my man would go over there to visit and if I was at work I would find him some place to drop off my daughter because that house is full of negativity and it's like they just sit around and talk about me. So I will be damned if they're talking about me infront of my kids! I told them to choose their words carefully because they will regret saying they don't care if they see them or for me to get a DNA test.

Quoting It's Ashleyyyy!:“ Wow. Where is the maturity now-a-days? Even if you were with a guy.. it could have been a co worker or ... [snip!] ... to tell her she doesn't have to like you but she can't talk to you like that and she can't talk about your daughter that way.”

I agree. The SO needs to stand up and say something about his family mistreating her. They will be pissed and they may dis-own him, but if they ever want to see him again, they will shut the eff up and deal with it.

Quoting It's Ashleyyyy!:“ Wow. Where is the maturity now-a-days? Even if you were with a guy.. it could have been a co worker or ... [snip!] ... to tell her she doesn't have to like you but she can't talk to you like that and she can't talk about your daughter that way.”

Yea, at first he would tell them just to all shut up because he doesn't want the drama or be invloved. Then they brought him into it like we don't need you either. So he pretty much only talks to his older sister at this point.

Quoting MiddayHavoc:“ I agree. The SO needs to stand up and say something about his family mistreating her. They will be pissed ... [snip!] ... will be pissed and they may dis-own him, but if they ever want to see him again, they will shut the eff up and deal with it.”

That's exactly right. My SO hadn't talked to his Grandmother in like... 5 months.. Then she came crawling back to him.. She had said some awful things about me and to me.. So he cut her out after she sent an email tomy SO"apologizing for being so nice and giving and doing everything and doing nothing wrong.." Good apology? JOKE! As well as saying at the end to my SO "Whoever you end up with I'll love" As if she was trying to throw a jab in there at the end.

Quoting {{MRS CASTR0}}:“ Tried that. She says I don't want to talk to you Bitch. I have no words for you. So hey I tried being the bigger person, more then once. I had let it go. But it's all starting to get to me.”

Release it!!! You do NOT need to waddle around in this pig shit they are flinging at you - that seems to be their mentality - and you do not have to play their games - so focus on your husband, your girls, your shopping, your house, and do not answer the phone if they call, do not go there for whatever reason, and do not lower yourself to their standards. You can choose to have whatever kind of life you want to have, and create that life now, with your husband and kids. Let those other people go................

imagine you have put them into a boat, and set then to float on down the river, and if the crocodiles get them, Oh hell, well, just chill now, and let it be - you have so much more in life that you should focus on now!If the Niagra Falls are up ahead for them,"Oh my" "how would I have known that"??? and if its canyons and cliffs all the way on their life trip -"oh well, looks like they'll have to live on fish, cause they cannot get to the salad bar atWhiteCastle!!!......." lol

OP -you have to choose toBe happy and create with your husband exactly what the two of you had dreamed you would have when you were little. And you have stopped that cycle of crap for your two kids -

Quoting {{MRS CASTR0}}:“ Yea, at first he would tell them just to all shut up because he doesn't want the drama or be invloved. ... [snip!] ... Then they brought him into it like we don't need you either. So he pretty much only talks to his older sister at this point.”

Thank God. You have to eliminate negativity.
I don't go with the "You have to deal with family" B.S. Because you don't. Why should you be emotionally abused. It's not about making him choose you over his family. It's about him doing what is right and choosing you before letting you be emotionally abused.