posted 10th Mar '12
He did it again. He broke my glass coffee table. I can't believe he got mad at me for wanting to get rid of the damn thing even after watching the baby bounce her head off the edge of it!
It was my Mom's, husbands, Grandmother's table. It wasn't ours to get rid of so definitely not his to break.
Lol after it was done and I had cut my finger cleaning all the broken glass up he had the nerve to say sorry to me like it was going to make everything ok? NO! You can't just go around breaking things, hurting me, yelling at my kids and then think a simple sorry is going to fix it all. I'm done. If you don't leave I will.
I'm so tired of this. Why wont he just leave? I'm working on finding my own place. But I'm kinda scared of what he's going to do when I move out with the kids...
quoteposted 23rd Mar '12
It's been almost 3 years since you first sent me that message on myspace. Who knew video games, would lead to everything that we've been through together. we have a handsome son, and we're still best friends. I know I messed up and hurt you really bad, and I am truly sorry for that. I wish I could take it back, have a redo, make myself stronger then I was back then. The thing is I can't go back in time, but I have become stronger. I could never imagine cheating on anyone no matter what problems arise in a future relationship. The last time we talked about everything was in October, you were newly dating someone, so it wasn't even the right place for me to say something. I really hope that one day you will forgive me and give me a second chance. In October, you said we were never getting back together EVER and I really needed to move on. I didn't believe it then, and I still don't. I feel somewhere deep inside, you do still love me, and do still wanna be with me, but you're scared of getting hurt again. That is totally understandable. I just want you to trust me that it will never happen again. It has caused too much hurt and heartbreak to the both of us. I've admited I messed up big time. It wasn't even worth it, and i wish i would have realized that at the time. I really just want a second chance. We could take things slow, and just go from there, because I still want to be with you . I've never felt this strongly towards someone, I really believe it is the meaning of true love. I still believe that you want to be with me because of your actions, unless you just come over so much because you feel bad for me, which I hope isn't the case. I asked a bunch of people at one point if they would go to their exs hosue so much, if they still didn't want to be with them. 98 percent of them said no, and even if they had a kid, it would be them picking up the kid, or only being their when the child is awake. That's why I believe your actions speak louder than words. I do get jealous of when you talk about dates, but I've come to realize they are all winding up being flops. It seems like you want me to go out, but at the same time enjoy seeing when mine are flops also. Just seems like you're afraid to lose me, just like I'm afraid to lose you. There are days when I feel you truly mean that we're never getting back together, but more often then not, I feel like it's not true. I've wanted to say something to you about it for a while, but am afraid of pushing you away. But I'm also scared of not saying anything, because what if that's pushing you away also. My minds at a standstill. You're truly the only friend I have, and that's hard on me. I'm glad you have your cousin, and Erik and are making new friends. In a way I can honestly say I'm not trying hard enough to make friends. Because I DON'T want to push you away. I love you, and I always will. I hope that one day you will give me a second chance, and we can be a happy family together. It scares me when you say you're talking to a girl with a kid, because in the back of my head I think well what if it works out with them, I don't want a blended family. I know that's more normal these days, but it would just not be something I wanted. Also, sometimes I feel like you put Draven on the back burner. There's been more times that you say you would come over, and wind up not showing. You've been seeing him less than you normally do.I really hope that you can reconsider there ever being an "us". I love you with all of my heart and then some. You mean everything to me. and i do have to say thank you for staying my friend through out the whole thing, just sometimes I wonder if it's just because of Draven, even though you have said before, you would still be my friend even without us having Draven. I also hope that my family isn't a reason that you would never get back together with me. I know you get aggravated a lot with them, but you can tell I do too. and I love your family and glad they still consider me family. I just want OUR family to be back together.
Love
Steph
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