re: Wanna know a secret?

Quoting Just Ames:" What exactly are you waiting on? For him to be done with dating and decide he wanted you back?"

I guess, but like I'm not waiting and not doing anything about it. Like I'm dating other people to, with the intentions it may work out it may not, but it still doesn't change the fact that I want to be with him. Like I'm not blocking anything out that could happen, because I could findn someone really great and it work out, and be fine. just ehh I don't knwo how to explain it..

Quoting Just Ames:" I don't feel bad for you at all. You married him knowing he had this past and had to pay child support, ... [snip!] ... so. You need to buck up, grow up and deal with it. And while you're at it, try and treat his kids like your step children."

thats the thing he doesnt get to see these children..and never will... the mothers have already admitted they only wanted to get pregnant and take him for support...which they have...
he doesnt get to see the kids just pay for them

and mean while we have 4 kids together and he had 3 previous kids before me.....so we have 7 kids.. like i said 3 of which we here before me and i am their mother since their mom isnt around....

he has a lot of kids...and i knew this before we got married i was young and in love...i still love him but i have become obsessed with his passed and i think it is ruining our marriage..i just cant get over it   and NO ONE should feel bad for me...i just dont know how to get passed this..i want to love him and forget about the past but i cant. and the women like i said always do something to medle in our lives they are NUTS...and they dont want him to be happy it seems like...i just cant stand it...
ive been stopped many of times in the grocery store by random people saying what a POS my DH is because he has those 2 kids and he should pay more support   why
i just dont get it...

Quoting BG Secrets:" thats the thing he doesnt get to see these children..and never will... the mothers have already admitted ... [snip!] ... people saying what a POS my DH is because he has those 2 kids and he should pay more support   why i just dont get it..."

So you have 7 kids in your home? 3 from previous relationships (of his) and 4 you both had together? And you're saying he pays child support for 2 kids but will "never get to see them"? If he is truly paying court appointed child support then he should have visitation. He needs to get an Attorney if that's the case. But with all that said, I think you are making excuses for him.

Quoting BG Secrets:" thats the thing he doesnt get to see these children..and never will... the mothers have already admitted ... [snip!] ... people saying what a POS my DH is because he has those 2 kids and he should pay more support   why i just dont get it..."

wait what? dude has 9 kids? sounds like he needs to get fixed...
Honestly, he needs to fight for visitation..

Quoting Just Ames:" So you have 7 kids in your home? 3 from previous relationships (of his) and 4 you both had together? ... [snip!] ... visitation. He needs to get an Attorney if that's the case. But with all that said, I think you are making excuses for him."

i am not making excuses at all ..whats to make excuse about i was venting..

no he doesnt get to see those 2 kids at all he ISNT allowed to..the mothers wont let him and we dont have the funds to pay for an attorney for what it would cost...so he just pays his support...im just sick of these bitches constant drama to make his life hell and that is what they do!!

and yes we have 7 kids...plus the 2 he pays support for...

he had 3 kids with his ex who he thought he was going to stay with turns out she was a meth whore...to say it lightly...and she abandoned him when the youngest was 1m he actually got rsv in the hospital and left him there...dh has since had the kids ..full custody...and he doesnt receive support from her...at all ever..

that was 2001 he had a one night stand like many of us have ...and he was one unlucky man the woman wanted to get pregnant and she was sleeping around...he was the sperm donor for that child...she had 6 other men tested...

then he met another woman who wanted to be in his life and his kids so he started dating her well she said she was pregnant after their first encounter according to her (i am "friends" with her to keep everything calm..she loves drama) well she actually wasnt pregnant according to when the kid was born so she lied to dh idk why ..but she did...so he believes the child is his..and he signed the BC ...the kid kinda looks like him and kinda doesnt ...there is another man in ? ...but we havent pursued a DNA test...have had the extra money...with me being in school and him providing for us all ...

then we met and married and had 4 more kids...and yes i plan to have more...well we are talking about it...we take care of our kids (7) and the ones (2) he had besides our 7...we just dont have vacation money or thousands laying around we make it monthly with a few bucks left over..so we live comfortably...

thats all there is to this story i was venting i just HATE his past..not the kids...the women are evil...and he really hasnt done anything to them..besides bless them with children and pay them monthly for sleeping with him...

no excuses... just frustration!!!

Quoting BG Secrets:" i am not making excuses at all ..whats to make excuse about i was venting.. no he doesnt get to ... [snip!] ... to them..besides bless them with children and pay them monthly for sleeping with him... no excuses... just frustration!!!"

The women arent evil, hes just stupid. Any woman faced with him as a BD and an ex would probably appear evil.

You dont put enough blame where it belongs- on him.

Quoting Alissa (lissapfa):" wait what? dude has 9 kids? sounds like he needs to get fixed... Honestly, he needs to fight for visitation.."

yea "dude" has 9 kids...so what...not like he has 9 by 9 different moms...3 came from the same mom and 4 were by me...in between he made 2 VERY crappy mistakes!!!

and NO he doesnt need to get fixed...

the duggars have what 19... the people down the road from us have 12...his mother came from 8 ...your comment was rude...and to be honest i am getting so sick of hearing that he needs to get fixed!!!!

and we pay for our kids and his 2 other kids fine but we dont have the extra money left over sadly to fight for his rights....he should have rights he pays but the mothers WONT allow him to see the kids...they are plain nuts!!

and he hasnt seen these 2 kids in a long time
the 1st one he has never seen except for on the road when we drive by their place..
2nd he last saw when the woman left him right after she got out of the hospital ...she lived with him exactly 10m...moved in with him since her house was condemned and he let her move in then she said she was pregnant right away and then 9m later had the kid and left...she was terribly lazy (my MIL told me this,, she (MIL) would come over get the kids ready for school and feed them and do the laundry because all this woman did was sleep!!)

yeah so DH KNOWS how to pick some winners ...*UGH*

i just wish i could get over his past so we could be happy like truly undividedly happy!!!

Quoting Sam and Addie ☼:" The women arent evil, hes just stupid. Any woman faced with him as a BD and an ex would probably appear evil. You dont put enough blame where it belongs- on him."

trust me i do...but whenever i get pissed at him for the mistakes he made he turns it on me saying to let it be its the past...but his smurfing past is what is always looming over our heads...

and no these 2 women are vindictive and mean....you should see or read the things they have said about me and my kids...i have done NOTHING to them and in fact i am friendly with one since she is always medling in our life...

he isnt a bad BD or ex he is just stupid and made terrible choices and he knows that ..and wishes he could go back but cant...so we have to live with it...
except i am too obsessed about it that i cant move on...

its me not him...

Quoting BG Secrets:" yea "dude" has 9 kids...so what...not like he has 9 by 9 different moms...3 came from the same mom ... [snip!] ... how to pick some winners ...*UGH* i just wish i could get over his past so we could be happy like truly undividedly happy!!!"

Sorry I was rude. If you all want more kids more power to ya. Is there anyway when you go back to court for them to ask for more money, you guys can try to work in custody then? Not sure how it works..

Quoting Alissa (lissapfa):" Sorry I was rude. If you all want more kids more power to ya. Is there anyway when you go back to court ... [snip!] ... when you go back to court for them to ask for more money, you guys can try to work in custody then? Not sure how it works.."

ya know i never thought about that...he is going back in may so i will bring it up to him and i will call the county prosecuter tomorrow to see what exactly we can do...thanks for that!!!!

it would be nice for the kids to know their "sperm donor" as the mothers call him to the kids ...or POS... and yes they do call him that to their own kids...i find it disgusting them do that to the kids...they are cute boys but with their mean mothers i dont think theyll want anything to do with their dad....they are 8 and 7.

and yea i would like 7 or 8 kids ..dh has said no to that..but well see...i want a HUGE family..idk why just do!

Quoting BG Secrets:" ya know i never thought about that...he is going back in may so i will bring it up to him and i will ... [snip!] ... 8 and 7. and yea i would like 7 or 8 kids ..dh has said no to that..but well see...i want a HUGE family..idk why just do!"

Uh, you have 9 kids right now  
And I don't blame him for wanting no more. He has 4 different Mothers to all his children. Don't you think that's enough for one person?

Quoting Chippermunkk {LPC}:" Would you say the same even if both people are casually dating other people. Like would you still give ... [snip!] ... we're just casually dating other people. So trying to move on, but would you still give up the hope of getting back together?"

it depends on why you broke up... but most of the time, it's the right choice.

you don't get there w/out a good reason, eh?

it's not like in the movies where one tiny misunderstanding leads to a tragic separation and then someone's playing a boombox under your window one night.


i lived in denial about being broken up for a while -- clung to some self-destructive notion that my (correct) choice to break up was wrong and we just needed to find each other.

i'd move on if i were you. honestly... ask yourself what it is that keeps you coming back to him and 9 times out of 10 it's the pain and loneliness that follows being broken up (not really loving your ex or they, you) .... you think returning to him will be better than working your smurf out and finding someone new?

mmm?

Quoting Just Ames:" Uh, you have 9 kids right now   And I don't blame him for wanting no more. He has 4 different Mothers to all his children. Don't you think that's enough for one person? "

he was a whore who slept with 2 whores and had 2 mistakes...

its his past wish it would have never happened but it did...and now i want to move past it but cant....dont know how...

and we have 7 kids...he doesnt get to see those children so they are not part of our family...and he was just a sperm donor and what sperm donor has had to pay for child support...its odd....women go looking to get pregnant they go to a sperm bank if they can afford it lol if your poor you just sleep with random men...... then turn around and file for support...its a flipping joke...

and yes i want more children...if we care for our kids and they can be happy...why not...

i just posted to vent about my frustrations with his past...which i will forever have to deal with....well maybe until they are 18 and figure out their bio father wasnt as bad as their mothers made him out to be...


and yes i wish i could be the mother to all his kids...but hey he made some mistakes...gaaaaaaaaaaaaah i hate feeling so frustrated!!!

Quoting BG Secrets:" i am not making excuses at all ..whats to make excuse about i was venting.. no he doesnt get to ... [snip!] ... to them..besides bless them with children and pay them monthly for sleeping with him... no excuses... just frustration!!!"

it really seems like excuses to me... sorry

Quoting BG Secrets:" he was a whore who slept with 2 whores and had 2 mistakes... its his past wish it would have never ... [snip!] ... i wish i could be the mother to all his kids...but hey he made some mistakes...gaaaaaaaaaaaaah i hate feeling so frustrated!!!"

Im sorry but you sound like a total smurf.. you want more babies but yet you dont have money to get an attorney...

wtf.. excuses...