re: Early Intervention Chat thread

Quoting mommytoelyse:“I think that was one of the hardest things for me to admit is that I am possibly contributing to his speech delay because I just know what he needs. ”

That is part of my problem with Paige. That, combined with her low desire to actually talk, equals a 21 month old with a 6 word vocab.  

Paige had another speech lesson today. She barely said anything to the teacher; she laughs and points and whines when she doesn't get her way, but she doesn't like to vocalize, especially in front of other people. The only good thing about the lesson today is that her teacher said her cognitive and motor skills are excellent... just her speech is way behind.She is due for her 3 month evaluation; she'll probably be rated lower in speech this time.

Quoting mommytoelyse:“ I think that was one of the hardest things for me to admit is that I am possibly contributing to his ... [snip!] ... him cry when I know I can fix it and make all the crazy looks from people stop but then I am not really helping him   So hard!”

I could've written this myself ((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))

Quoting mommytoelyse:“ That is a better way to put it! He still has all the language he gained over the last few months but ... [snip!] ... has no desire to communicate if you give him what he needs so I dont see him catching up without a little pushing on our part.”

I don't even know what to say because honestly we are dealing with the exact same thing with Scarlett! My mom recognizes the delays and need for EI, but she is the typical doting grandma and simply WILL NOT let Scarlett cry. She gets even more frazzled by her fits than I do and will do whatever it takes to get her happy again.

My in-laws blame her vaccinations (so basically me, since they "warned me" over and over.... I however DO NOT believe it was the vaccines). Anyway, not like it matters what my in-laws think as they have minimal interaction with their grandkids...   don't get me started... lol Christina knows!

Anyway, Scarlett is also much better with Scot. She will tantrum with him but they do not last as long because she realizes that he will not cave so after a couple seconds of whining she will give in and use words or sign.

I love being a SAHM, but it definitely has it's disadvantages. Sometimes I think if I didn't have her ALL day EVERY day I would be better at sticking my ground, but at the same time, I am very grateful that I am able to work with her one-on-one, even if it is a little (okay, a LOT) stressful at times and hard to do with two kids.

I can't say how thankful I am that I have you girls to talk to!

Also, YAY! it's almost bedtime! I think Cecilia will be going up in less than half an hour, and even though I'll have Scarlett a while longer she is ALWAYS easier when Cecilia is sleeping (she doesn't feel the need to compete for attention I guess).

Quoting usagi:“ That is part of my problem with Paige. That, combined with her low desire to actually talk, equals ... [snip!] ... just her speech is way behind.She is due for her 3 month evaluation; she'll probably be rated lower in speech this time.”

Okay this is something that struck me as odd...

I asked Scarlett's teacher when she'll next be evaluated and she said not til she's 3?! Is that normal? I thought they did quarterly evaluations... Her teacher use to evaluate kids mostly and did little case work (for 14 years, the last 5 years she's just been doing case work and no more evals), and so she will let me know where Scarlett stands, like she told me that Scarlett's cognitive skills with puzzles are now at 24-27 months. BUT, that's still not really an evaluation and I'd like to see her progress, yano?

Hmmm...

Quoting Scarlett & Lia's Mama:“ Okay this is something that struck me as odd... I asked Scarlett's teacher when she'll next be evaluated ... [snip!] ... puzzles are now at 24-27 months. BUT, that's still not really an evaluation and I'd like to see her progress, yano? Hmmm...”

I guess it's different with each provider? Paige's EI provider is Sunny Days. Although during her initial evaluation, it seemed like the quarterly evaluation was a state-thing?

Quoting Scarlett & Lia's Mama:“ Okay this is something that struck me as odd... I asked Scarlett's teacher when she'll next be evaluated ... [snip!] ... puzzles are now at 24-27 months. BUT, that's still not really an evaluation and I'd like to see her progress, yano? Hmmm...”

That is odd I believe the law states 6 month review and an annual review where the actual IFSP has to be rewritten. Check your parents rights and make sure but waiting till she turns 3 is way too long. They should be checking to see if she is meeting the goals already lined out for her. Also anytime someone on the team requests a change of any kind or if you request anything they have to call a meeting and review outcomes.

I agree it is nice to have you ladies to chat with. Sometimes reading your guys posts is like reading a page in my life story. Alot of people dont understand though and I do feel like alot of the delays can be contributed to me. I second guess myself all the time. I was working full time after I had my daughter and she was siging spontaneously at 5 months speaking at 10 months and using full sentences by 18 months. She was in daycare, what if the reason he is delayed is because of me? The worst part is I worked for Early Intervention and I can't seem to help him.
I feel like I am failing him. Every month that passes with little to know progress puts him further behind and makes him (and me more frustrated) I know I contributed to it so I have honestly considered working even if only part time to help put him in daycare but the thought of my kids in the kind of daycare I would be able to afford scares the crap out of me. I dont know, like I said I just keep second guessing myself.

Thanks for listening to all the venting, I think I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that he really is delayed and it's not just me being paranoid.

I can say no matter how in tuned you are, or weather or not your child is "spoiled" if they can talk they will... It's the lack of desire on there part, that paired with our pareting styles, creates a delay... But our children would also not thrive in an enviroment where there needs were not listened to, do you have any idea the number of children who slip through the cracks because they are in day care, because there parets are unaware of the delays, or only become aware because there provider tells them...

That said from this point forward they do require that extra push and support, I want to type out some of the stuff from this book Ive been reading....

And man I remember it was not long ago at all that Jamil had NO words, at 20 months he had 3 words and lots of signs he wouldn't use!! He couldn't point either, we really only got pure requests for milk and up (both were escape) used in all situations no matter if he wanted to leave, sleep, eat, drink, etc..... By his 2 year appt he had the 50 words used spontaneously!!! Shit I mean we filled out this packet for the mind institute study like a monthish ago I typed out and counted his words and it was 200!!! Do you know this little boy has 600
words!!! I honestly can't even believe it I felt he would never ever talk!!!!

We still have to withhold for responces, but there is and end to all this!!!

Theresa it should be every 3/6 months for an ifsp for sure!!!

Quoting jamils_mommy:“ I can say no matter how in tuned you are, or weather or not your child is "spoiled" if they can talk ... [snip!] ... to withhold for responces, but there is and end to all this!!! Theresa it should be every 3/6 months for an ifsp for sure!!!”

That is so true, I dont mean to be so depressing but I am feeling so defeated with Micahs tantrums   He had speech last night and we decided I needed to leave him and go upstairs. I stayed where I could see him through a reflection in a mirror but he couldnt see me. The cries were heart wrenching. I sat there and cried but I dont know what else to do. Me being around for speech therapy at first worked and he was content to work out of my lap but now he spends the whole time trying to turn around and bury his head in my shoulder to avoid working, he wont complete a task and the whole seesion ends up being pretty much wasted. So his therapist kept him downsrairs and he cried for about 10 minutes, sobbed and it was aweful but hten he stood up and started playing and laughing and saying words spontaneously WHICH HE NEVER DOES!!! My heart melted and I had a little more confidence that I was doing the right thing.

I have a question for you Christina, does Jamil say much spontaneously? He has so many words but does he use them to request for things etc. Have you seen a difference in his tantrums? I am just wondering because Micah has several words (all pertinent to his daily routine) that he knows both verbally and the sign but he wont ever use them without being prompted and I haven't seen his increased language help his frustration at all because he becomes frustrated rather than communicating. He has no where near as many words as Jamil so maybe as he gains more this will come.

Quoting mommytoelyse:“ That is so true, I dont mean to be so depressing but I am feeling so defeated with Micahs tantrums ... [snip!] ... frustrated rather than communicating. He has no where near as many words as Jamil so maybe as he gains more this will come.”

he still tantrums, he does communicate he says what he wants over and over....

Like in the am he'll say "come on let's go, get up! Dada stand up" he can make many many requests, but... If dh says where do you want to go, he can't anwser...

He can say he's hungry, but when we ask him if he's hungry he won't say yes or no, you have to physically bring him the food open it and offer it then he will tell you no or yes...

He also has very little patience, if he asks he wants it right then... And will get louder and louder when asking

Quoting mommytoelyse:“ That is odd I believe the law states 6 month review and an annual review where the actual IFSP has ... [snip!] ... I think I am still trying to come to grips with the fact that he really is delayed and it's not just me being paranoid.”

I know exactly what you mean. I feel like if Scarlett was in daycare she would have all the kids examples to follow, so much more interaction... Idk.
Blah.

I'm feeling down tonight.

And I have no clue why her teacher keeps saying she won't be re-evaluated til 3 y/o. I don't even remember doing her ifsp or whatever it's called (making her goals, etc...).

UGH.
Ok, I gotta go. Scot's home.

quickly, on the brightside, the last 2 or 3 days Scarlett has not been tantruming as much and she also has been napping for me. let's hope it sticks...

Paige had a hearing screen today to rule that out as a factor in her speech delay. She passed with flying colors.  

Quentin pointed at something for the first time yesterday! We were eating and he kept asking for more, I thought he wanted more drink so I gave him a sip. He usually reaches for things he wants with his whole hand but he stuck out his finger and pointed straight at the Cheez-its box and said more! My eyes started to well up when I realized what was happening.

Quoting loving life!:“ Quentin pointed at something for the first time yesterday! We were eating and he kept asking for more, ... [snip!] ... finger and pointed straight at the Cheez-its box and said more! My eyes started to well up when I realized what was happening. ”

Way to go Quentin!!

Yay Quentin!! That's amazing!!!

Thanks!! I guess he was pointing at the TV and saying "num-num" today while I was at work. Too bad it was at dog food and beer commercials, haha.