He's childish and won't help!

I don't understand, he's all happy and i know he's 'only' 18 as he keeps reminding me but im younger and i understand that i've got to think out for two people not juts me, i have to watch out for my little son (who is due in march). One of the things at the moment is making our relationship hard is he's not ready to take up responsabilities, his parents wont help and will barely talk to mine, and make snide comments about me, and tell him that he shouldnt be happy and that our baby is evil. I dont understand! I'm trying to start a new future with the help of my parents and he just seems to not want to help or do anything, or even get a job! I used to see him every other week at least but since we've known, he's only made the effort to see me twice and i've had to go see him which means i have to ask my rents to take me which i feel is unfair as they are doing more than enough.
He's also going to see other girls more than me - i know they are just friends. but i feel that i'm second place.

Is it too much to ask him to get a job, and to grow up.
Because i don't feel stable or safe in this relationship and i don't want to bring my son up in an unhappy home.

Should i let him have another chance or leave now?

Iam sorry to say, but it sounds like he'd pretty much already left. If he's seeing other girls more often, not trying to help you, not even trying to see you and not looking for a job then he's not going to change....a baby does not turn some one into a resoponsable person. He might even be avoiding you so he can try and get out of being assigned paternity, since he is 18, he would have to provide some support for the child.

U know i agree with the frist respond the kid has shown no sign of love or even cares, wha tu need to do is find help all around and don' t depend on him or his family. You're better off at least u are realizing what type of person he is being.

I agree as well.I've been going through something similar except we are a lil older and he already has another girl pregnant,the family talking ill the whole nine yards sweetie.You can't spend time focused on him and what he's doing.It's not going to change him, he's young and silly let him go hun. He's extremely childish and in denial,thats only proving that him being with you intimately made him a dad but if he were to take responsibility and act as a man and put all that foolishness to the side to even realize that this is a beautiful thing and a gift then he'll be a father. If he never comes to his senses then oh well sweetie it's his loss

Thankyou!

I saw him this weekend and he promises to help he promises to get a job. But i've been hearing these promises for so long i just don't know what to believe!

I have to agree with the others, it sounds as if he is already gone. If you keep pushing I think you are going to get your heart broken. Men don't see babies the way women do, they don't see all the love and happiness a child brings. They only see the cost in terms of money and free time. It sounds like his parents aren't behaving very responsibly either and they are setting the example for him to follow. Best thing is to cut your losses now and just make sure you file for child support - go ahead and let him demand his paternity test. At least your child will be taken care of financially - I'm pretty sure the courts will make him get a job if his parents won't.

Well... I love my 23 year old fiance with everything... but I am only 17 and he doesn't have a job either. When we argue, he always tells me to "grow up". I can't give you any advise, but I can say I know how you feel.

dont force him to be with you.... he doesnt seem worth the fight.. he can be a father without being in a relationship with you. and if he wont take responsibilityt hen take him to court. dont let him get away with not taking responsibility.. but you also have to let him go he isnt worth fighting for if he doesnt want to be there.

Like u said, U need to think about ur baby. why should u be the one going to him?? you're 7 months preggo what u need to do is relax, get ready for ur baby and kick that kid to the curb. he was gone long ago and this thing that he promises to get a job or whatever, do u really believe him? what he has demonstrated to u so far is that he's a looser and doesnt care one bit about u or his child. maybe some day he'll change   but right now it doesnt look like he's there. dont let him fool u, go for child support either way.

I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel. My boyfriend just didnt go into work for 2 days straight and got fired. So, now he doesnt have a job. I cant get a job b/c i am at high risk. He would much rather be with his friends than to be down here with me. I beg him to come see me and he wont. He just got paid yesterday (his last paycheck) and he I asked him to come down and he told me that he was saving money for Valentine's Day. But yet, he stays with his friends and does whatever they want to do. I get extremely hurt and I feel like he doesnt want anything to do with this baby anymore. Then, he makes all these comments and stuff and makes me feel guilty about it. He was looking for a job down here last week and was going to move in with me. Monday morning, he just gets up and goes "job hunting" supposedly, and he hadn't come back for hours. I texted him to see where he was at, and he went home. He left everything down here, and then used the excuse that he didnt have the money to get back down here. Now, he has the money but wont come back down. Hes staying up there and listening to his mama b/c she wants him to get a job up there. I dont know what to do b/c this baby is due March 19 (same day as yours)   , and we live in two different places and i dont think he is willing to move down here anymore b/c he doesnt want to leave his "friends" behind that aren't really his friends but he cant realize that. He wont even ask me how the doctors appointments go anymore or if everything was okay. I went to the doctor yesterday and he has yet to ask me what they said, so i havent told him. He wont take me to the doctor b/c he is always with his friends...my mom has to take me to the doctor and she has bought half of the baby stuff b/c he blows his money on cd's and dvds. AND his mom and step-dad say that they are ashamed of this baby. Excuse me, but this is their grandson. He hasn't done anything, but yet they are ashamed of him. It makes me feel terrible. And his parents and mine cant get along and they are always talking about each other and it drives me CRAZY. It's just good to know that somebody else is in the same situation as me. Sorry I had too much to say....

I know from experience that situation really sucks. And im sure your going through a lot of different (yet all painful) emotions. I also know its easy for outlookers to say "leave him girl", because A.) its the best thing you can do and B.) They're on the outside, so they arent dealing with the emotional part of it all. One thing about childish boys is they dont know what they want. But dont use the excuse hes young so he just doesnt know better, cause your young too, and you know right? Childish men are hypocrits, meaning if the table were turned and you were putting other men over him, he would have a stroke! So the only advice i can give to you, is if you want to be with this boy, make him show he wants to be with you and will do what he needs to support you and your baby. I keep saying boy, but hes 18 right? you shouldnt have to beg no 18 year old to get a job. He is running from the reality and you dont have time for that mess. Seriously stay away from him. While hes out with others putting you second, make sure he knows hes not your #1. Dont be available to him only when he feels like being bothered with you. Dont call him for a while, make him miss you and see that you are an asset to him, and not the other way around. A lot of times boys take you for granted because they tend to think your life ends without them. If you do these things, one of two things will happen, and you need to be prepared for both. Either he will see youre the one losing interest and obtain some act right to get that interest back, or you will see for certain that he doesnt miss you, and he doesnt care that your gone, but when you realize this for sure, you probably will be use to occupying your time elsewhere and wont miss him as much either. Either way, stand your ground. Cause if you dont he'll walk all over it, and u will keep opening the same wounds.

And use your baby as your distraction. I swear when my @ hole was dragging me through the mud, i would concentrate on some baby aspect. He's not much help either, but im a little older so i would look on craigslist for baby thing i could get for cheap, and go to stores and think about how i wanted to decorate her room, and names, and think about your future with your baby. Even in a stressful situation, thinking of her kept me happy. Friends and family help when your lonely. And when all else fails...watch madea movies...she's funny! And there is always an underlining message about stupid men.

Anyway, whatever happens, i wish you all the luck in the world. and Congratulations on the baby!

I'm going through a simliar situation. I'm not going to tell u to leave him alone, but what I will tell you is to walk away for a little while. Not forever just enough to get yourself together and get adjusted to motherhood. You cant change someone whos not interested in changing. The only person you can control in this life is yourself. So just step out the picture for a little while dont call or come aound. Whatever is to be will B.