how can I escape from this MAN!!!!

okay so through thick and thin Brian and I have made it,BUT I have recently discovered I love him dearly but am not IN love with him anymore.It only took 2 words for me to realize that, I deserve SOOOO SO SOOOOOO much better. A few weeks back him and I were arguing like usual and he comes out with calling me a excuse my language but a "nigger dyke" so I tell him you know before this escaldes I'm going to leave and stay with a friend from work for a few days and I'll be back Friday *i said this on tuesday. I knew he wasnt going to let me take Ana with me so I left her with him. When I get back on Friday he comes pulling up in the driveway and is like well I'm taking you to court for custody of Ana and I have temporary custody of her now because we *meaning his mom and him* didnt think you were coming back... I was like excuse me!!? I called twice that wednesday to check up on Ana and once on thursday *when him and i got into another argument*. He said he hadn't heard from me until thursday and his mother lied to the cop and said i never called. when I called from work on wednesday i called twice and he wasnt there, I even left a message on the answering machine and she swaers up and down i didnt. so now on the 14th of this month I'm fighting for custody of my daughter. now when i was pregnant and we were fighting i told him even if we end up not being together, I want to do joint custody so your in her life... And i swore to him while i was pregnant that I would NEVER do this to him, and now here he is doing it to me..... What the fuck.

Any suggestions?


oh and btw, he has no job, I do, we both live with his mother *because we are trying to work through everything*, and he is behind 2 months in CS.











and before anyone else says anything about me abaondoning my daughter i would never do that in his eyes it's either die before your take my kid or leave and at that point she was sleeping and the cops were already there so i just left.

pack your shit and leave...simple! and I didn't even have to read your post..

Quoting Gracee's Mommy:“ pack your shit and leave...simple! and I didn't even have to read your post..”

well I am in the middle of doing that.. but I'm not leaving without my child. That is the only reason why I have stayed.

Sorry momma - but why would you have left your child and ran away for a few days - you never leave your child...............unless you want to be seen as abandoning her, which is truly what you did. What were you doing from Tuesday to now, what the hell could have been more important for you to be doing than being with your baby - bottom line is, you abandoned your child - and the courts will not allow you custody rights, when you so recently played that trick. I have nothing positive to say, except sorry.

He's not a man. He's a boy.
I would leave his ass alone and get the cops go over there and get your baby. Screw him and all his bullshit.

Quoting cougargagagl:“ Sorry momma - but why would you have left your child and ran away for a few days - you never leave your ... [snip!] ... courts will not allow you custody rights, when you so recently played that trick. I have nothing positive to say, except sorry.”

Well like i said to REMOVE myself from a possibly violent situation i stayed with a friend from work my friend kelly and I knew he wasnt going to let me take my daughter with me, on top of that I had to work those 3 days I was gone.

so it wasnt abandonment.

Quoting ♥Shay♥:“ He's not a man. He's a boy. I would leave his ass alone and get the cops go over there and get your baby. Screw him and all his bullshit.”

i agree. I think I'm just going to wait until court for custody and we'll see. i dont know but I am packing and moving out.

Good for you for finding the strength to leave him, hopefully you will end up with custody or joint custody.

The only thing Im wondering is, why wouldnt you call the cops yourself? if you had, then they would have been there to protect you while you packed up your stuff, your daughter and left that night. I realize you were probably scared that it could have gotten violent but if you had called the cops and had them there you wouldnt have had to worry.

Quoting Jersey+Ana .:FGG:.:“ Well like i said to REMOVE myself from a possibly violent situation i stayed with a friend from work ... [snip!] ... wasnt going to let me take my daughter with me, on top of that I had to work those 3 days I was gone. so it wasnt abandonment.”

Ok, then I misunderstood. But you can call the police and have them be there when you leave with your baby - and her things - to a safe shelter - maybe you will need to use a safe shelter that the police will deliver you to - and work out other living arrangements through the shelter. Take your baby - and never leave her alone with a man who is violent to you - your babe is defenceless and needs you to protect her. So call the cops for a ride to the Shelter - thats what they do.

I would of called the police to escort me and my child out of that situation.

If he has something that says you abandoned her, he's got you.

All you've got is, maybe there are drugs in the house, and his mothers records, etc.

Prove the home unfit.

its not abandonment if you can show you kept in touch, and if the cops were there .. there should be a police report or something at least stating what happened (i grew up in a domestic voilence household where the cops have told my mom (who wasnt the abuser) to leave until it calmed down for the night and to let us kids sleep)

Quoting jessicamatlock:“ its not abandonment if you can show you kept in touch, and if the cops were there .. there should be ... [snip!] ... where the cops have told my mom (who wasnt the abuser) to leave until it calmed down for the night and to let us kids sleep)”

how long did she stay away, or did she check up on you kids the next day. So sorry you had to endure that environment - but thanks for sharing part of your story with us..

the longest my mom was away.. i would say 5 days.. she was gone for 2 months when my youngest brother was 16...



look into your state law.. some states state that one year of no contact is abandonment.. if you can prove you called and checked up on your child and what not it helps

Quoting jessicamatlock:“ the longest my mom was away.. i would say 5 days.. she was gone for 2 months when my youngest brother ... [snip!] ... that one year of no contact is abandonment.. if you can prove you called and checked up on your child and what not it helps”

Ask your friend if she can get her phone bill records? Or if you called on your mobile phone, as your phone company

Quoting jessicamatlock:“ the longest my mom was away.. i would say 5 days.. she was gone for 2 months when my youngest brother ... [snip!] ... that one year of no contact is abandonment.. if you can prove you called and checked up on your child and what not it helps”

Thanks - I'm from Canada, so we have different laws than you. Just want to learn about your situation.