Abortion: When you want it but he doesn't

I'm not sure where to put this, so I'm just going to put this here since it's about abortion.

My best friend just found out that she is 5 weeks pregnant. She didn't know if she wanted to keep it yet, or get an abortion. She's only been with the father for a month. When she told him she's pregnant he was pretty supportive, but told her that he really wants her to abort. Now, she's fairly firm on getting an abortion because she doesn't want him to be mad at her, and because she doesn't want to make this choice for his life. Whenever she had talked about keeping it, he'd get all whiney and pissy, and when she told him she'd get an abortion he was all giddy. I'm 100% pro choice, but I don;t want her doing something she doesn;t want to do because she doesnt want to ruin this guy's life.

I told her it has no effect on the guy because a lot of guys' lives dont change with the birth of a child, and a lot just leave anyway....and a lot will never want their child until the baby is there, or they have tangable proof that theyre going to be a daddy (like they can ignore it until their gf/wfie starts to show or they see ultrasound pics - if that makes any sense)

I found out I was pregnant around this time last year and my boyfriend didn't want me to keep her at all. It wasn;t in his life plan, he hadn't finished college yet, he didnt want me to keep the baby and be "selfish" and make a choice for both of them....and he was like that for a few months until it all really sank in. Now our daughter is the love of his life.

And I have another friend who got an abortion a week before I told her I was pregnant because she already had one child that her boyfriend had wanted her to abort. Because she kept that first baby and her boyfriend "didnt even love him until he was 6 months old" he told her that it was only fair if she aborted because he didnt want their son and rachel chose to keep him, and now he didnt want this one and rachel "cant always get her own way."

Regardless if her choice, I will stand by her. I just dont think it's a good idea to get an abortion because the guy doesnt want it if you do.

Please give me some opinion, whether you agree with me or disagree.

Robert wanted me to get an abortion when we found out. I told him no way. There is no way I am killing my child because of you, no matter how long we've been together. Needless to say he regrets ever saying it and says it would have been the biggest mistake of his life.

Its her body, her choice in the end.

Quoting Amanda&Silas♥:“ Robert wanted me to get an abortion when we found out. I told him no way. There is no way I am killing ... [snip!] ... we've been together. Needless to say he regrets ever saying it and says it would have been the biggest mistake of his life.”

Jesse's the same way. I told him he;d regret it while he was saying it. Dumbass.

Quoting Amanda&Silas♥:“ Robert wanted me to get an abortion when we found out. I told him no way. There is no way I am killing ... [snip!] ... we've been together. Needless to say he regrets ever saying it and says it would have been the biggest mistake of his life.”

Chris was the exact same way and he regrets asking me to everyday and says he's proud I made the decision to keep Kyle because he can't imagine his life without him now.

honestly i think a lot of guys say that when they first find out a girlfriend is pregnant...especially if it wasn't planned...i say if she wants to keep the baby then she should and tell him that he can be there or not it doesn't matter to her

My hubby was actually completely behind me on keeping Chloe but we had just been engaged for about a month when we found out...i think it would have been a lot different if we had just been dating lol

Quoting †fallen-¤-flame† JAS08:“ Chris was the exact same way and he regrets asking me to everyday and says he's proud I made the decision to keep Kyle because he can't imagine his life without him now.”

I'm so glad that I'm not alone in this - not glad (because it's a shitty thing to have to go through) but...you know what I mean.

I read that 90% of men, regardless if the baby is a surprise, if they were TTC, if they're a husband, boyfriend or fling, 90% of men, their first thought when they find out the girl is pregnant either questions paternity or considers abortion as their first thoughts...even for a fleeting moment. In 90% of first time daddy's getting the big news.

my sons father tired the get an abortion card and i left! then his family tried the hes not his. So needless to say my son will not know it father. however it is her choice. but i do disagree with the babies dont change a guys life. and not all run. My husband couldnt be happier were pregnant and the pregnancy has made him more mature with decissons.
However, if she knows that what she wants to do then more power to her...

maybe you should remind her that this guy might not be in her life forever but she will have to live with whatever decison she makes forever.. the guy could be gone in a month even if she does abort..

I say to go with her gut... if she doesn't think that she can live with the decision to abort, then don't. The guy always has the option to leave. Sucks being a guy though, cause he really has no say.

Quoting Little Lexa's mommy! {Tea:“ maybe you should remind her that this guy might not be in her life forever but she will have to live with whatever decison she makes forever.. the guy could be gone in a month even if she does abort..”

I have. I told her that whatever choice she makes she needs to think of it assuming that she'll be a single mother because too many men use their penis as a get out of jail free card and bail.

Quoting †fallen-¤-flame† JAS08:“ Chris was the exact same way and he regrets asking me to everyday and says he's proud I made the decision to keep Kyle because he can't imagine his life without him now.”

Yep i'm not gonna lie though, he abandoned me and I did my whole pregnancy alone. (been together 5 years). He came back at the end, we tried to make it work, but i've pretty much been a single mom Silas whole life and right now i have decided because Robert can't get it together that he needed to stay somewhere else. Not to say he doesn't love Silas and he would never want me to have gotten the abortion, but he still can't get his shit together. I however would have never killed my baby for some guy, some guy you might not even be with later on, and who might leave you anyway even if you do abort your baby. I wouldn't want to be with a guy like that anyway. I believe that a man should NEVER tell a woman what to do with her body or baby. There will always be a part of me that resents rob for even trying to tell me to abort Silas, even if he does regret it now.

It's her body, her choice. She's gonna be the one going through the physical and emotional pain of having an abortion and that's coming from someone who had one, when I found out I was pregnant again with my son, my BD wanted me to get another abortion and I didn't want one and I told him straight up it's my body, my health on the line and it's obvious you don't give a fuck about anyone but yourself right now and you're looking for an easy way out...eventually his mom stepped in because she saw we were arguing non-stop about it and she told me that she wanted me to keep the baby...it finally sunk in for him when I started to feel the kicks and when we got the sono done and found out we were having a boy and he did apologize to me about pressuring me into having another abortion...I think though that if she goes through with it, that it should be what she wants and not what he's trying to push onto her

Quoting ***Steff***:“ honestly i think a lot of guys say that when they first find out a girlfriend is pregnant...especially ... [snip!] ... been engaged for about a month when we found out...i think it would have been a lot different if we had just been dating lol”

Yes, my husband read that 75% of guys, when they first find out their SO is pregnant automatically think that their girlfriend/wife cheated on them, because they are in such disbelief that their sperm/body actually made a child. It seems much more feasible to them that another man made the baby - not themselves.

However, this is usually the first thought it doesn't last very long (if at all).

I would do what is in your heart.