My son is 9 months old and is almost only breastfeeding. He was breastfed with supplimentation since he was born until he refused formula and the bottle when he was 2 1/2 months old. He would rather starve than take formula.

He is still having a hard time eating solids. I have tried stage 1 and 2 and just tried 3 yesterday. Somedays he'll eat up to one stage 1 jar once a day, but most days he refuses it completely.

He has been teething almost consantly since he was about 4 months old, got his first teeth at 5 months, and has had 7 teeth since the day before his 8 month birthday. I believe his teething is what is causing his eating problems. He just started with teething bisquits yesterday and likes them, but that's the only solid he ate yesterday and didn't even eat half of one.

I think I have had some feelings of being violated while breastfeeding since the beginning, but now that my PTSD is getting so much worse I sometimes feel like I don't want to feed him and while feeding him I feel bothered, violated, sometimes angry or frustrated. I have even pushed him away somtimes .

(I also have these problems and factors:
Major Depression
Post-partum Depression & Psychosis
Post-Traumatic Stress Diorder:
Worst Symptoms:
Rage Outbursts & Anger
Extreme Fear, Avoidance, and Isolation
Sleeping Disturbances
Extreme, Chronic Insomnia ( I have only slept 0-3 hours a day, never at night)

My son was a product of rape. I filed charges, but the man is still free. The case still hasn't gone to court. Although he was deported once right after I filed a report & for child support (c/s case is required to be filed to recieve medicaid in my state), he got a new name & came back to the US. This man has called threatening many times to kill my fiance (who I have been with for 4 yrs) or have someone else kill him, take my son away from me, get my father sent to prison, etc. He has also shown up at my house. (He has come to the door and has sat out in his truck on the other side of the street for several hours at a time). Last month he really tried to kidnap my son! This man is still free!!!!  

I am unable to work because these problems are so dibilitating, I can't hardly take care of myself or house work. I started online school to become a social worker 8 wks ago but have been falling behind due to my worsening mental health.

I am supposed to be on medication and consuling but I have lost my insurance. I was on medicaid, but have been dropped twice. I recieved a letter stating I was no longer eligible. I do not have a steady monthly income, so this is bs. I am also at risk so this is very aggravating to me.)

My biggest concern is my son and his well being. I had a hard life myself and I don't my son to have to go through anything like it! I want him to have the best life I could possibly give him because he is my world!!!! I don't want to have feelings like this or let my son grow up with his mother feeling and acting like this. He has to eat and I don't want either of us feeling bad about it. I do want to continue breastfeeding at least until he is 12-13 months old and I want him to be weaned by 16-18 months, hopefully.

If anyone has any ideas, advice, personal stories, please share asap!

Whoa honey, i think you need to talk to your doctor or some kind of medical professional.

I hope you find some peace and comfort but i think your AMAZING for doing what your doing

I wish i could help more

I would call the State, see what you can do to get help. You need the help to be ok so hang tight and please do whatever it takes to get help. If your family needs to move, I would encourage you to look for a way. Do whatever you need to do to be safe mama.

Quoting [ P l u s T h r e e ]:“ Whoa honey, i think you need to talk to your doctor or some kind of medical professional. I hope you ... [snip!] ... I hope you find some peace and comfort but i think your AMAZING for doing what your doing I wish i could help more”

   I totally agree. Very stong woman for being able to put your child first despite how you feel and what you have been through!!

I'm so sorry   wth isint this asshole in jail? ugh that pisses me off. have you tried applying for medicad again?

Quoting [ P l u s T h r e e ]:“ Whoa honey, i think you need to talk to your doctor or some kind of medical professional. I hope you ... [snip!] ... I hope you find some peace and comfort but i think your AMAZING for doing what your doing I wish i could help more”

  It may help to talk about it but you should really see your doc and see if there is anything med wise to help you with this. My heat goes out to you! You are a very brave and strong person.

Quoting [ P l u s T h r e e ]:“ Whoa honey, i think you need to talk to your doctor or some kind of medical professional. I hope you ... [snip!] ... I hope you find some peace and comfort but i think your AMAZING for doing what your doing I wish i could help more”

       

Do you hold some resentment towards your son over the way he was concieved? I do hope he begins to eat more solids for your sake. I pray that something opens up and moves these issues along for you. You should definitely try calling some sort of social worker or check out if there is any support clinics/groups to help you out.

Quoting [ P l u s T h r e e ]:“ Whoa honey, i think you need to talk to your doctor or some kind of medical professional. I hope you ... [snip!] ... I hope you find some peace and comfort but i think your AMAZING for doing what your doing I wish i could help more”

I cannot afford to see a doctor without insurance, although there is a place i used to go to for help, I have no transportation to get there and I'm not sure if I could trust a taxi driver....Thank you!

Quoting Mrs. Amy D:“ I would call the State, see what you can do to get help. You need the help to be ok so hang tight and ... [snip!] ... to get help. If your family needs to move, I would encourage you to look for a way. Do whatever you need to do to be safe mama.”

I have been thinking about moving to back to where I used to live, it's far away, the farther the better. Although I do have some family here that want me to stay badly, they are not supportive at all and have never really been involved in my life. My family back home would do so much for me, especially if it has to do with mine & my son's well being.

Quoting Mason's Momma [30 weeks]:“    I totally agree. Very stong woman for being able to put your child first despite how you feel and what you have been through!!”

Thank you! Of course my son comes first!  For one thing he is just starting out at life and learning about this world. He loves life and I don't want that to change. My perception of the world is already messed up, I don't think there's much I can do about that. But through my family I found a much brighter side to life. I really think I'm lucky to have my son and my fiance, when I think of them it always makes me happier. So I just want to help ppl to help them find a brighter side too. I need to take care of myself first though. That's want the doctor said at my son's first check-up.

Quoting kristinmarie721:“ I have been thinking about moving to back to where I used to live, it's far away, the farther the better. ... [snip!] ... in my life. My family back home would do so much for me, especially if it has to do with mine & my son's well being.”

My prayers are with you mama do what you need to do for yourself and your family to be safe and healthy. I have a history of depression and wound up with PPD pretty bad, I thought I was alone with my feelings till I read how others with it feel. I could never do it without the support I have, I hope you find the support you need really soon.

Quoting Lisa ♥ [ebfb.fbb]:“ Whoa honey, i think you need to talk to your doctor or some kind of medical professional. I hope you ... [snip!] ... I hope you find some peace and comfort but i think your AMAZING for doing what your doing I wish i could help more”

    
Is there anyway you could pump?