Letting Go A Little.

So today my SO and I were in the car and we were passing by a beach that we have gone past a thousand times and I noticed something that made me nervous. It was a child walking along a small barrier that is elevated above the beach sand. Immediately I thought of how "bad" the parents were for letting their kid do that. But at the same time I thought about how judgmental I was being. I was as young as that kid at one time and my mother let me do the same thing and I never sustained an injury. But the thought of letting my daughter walk that same wall when she gets older gave me chills.

This whole situation made me think of when is it time to let go and not protect them from every bump and bruise. How do you know what an acceptable risk is? I can't keep her from getting hurt but I want to do a suitable risk management. But then if I protect her too much she could turn out to be a hyper nervous child.

I feel slightly dumb for writing this but I just want to hear the opinions and experience of others on the matter.

I have a hard time letting my son be, well a "boy". They like to be rough, and take risks, and i have a really hard time just letting him, in fear of him getting hurt.

I've thought about this before. It's easy to say, "I would never let my child do that." But who knows what will happen when that situation actually presents itself.

I think I'll have to let go of my own nervousness and just let my kids be kids. They'll get scraped knees and bruises and maybe even broken bones but it's better than having them live in a bubble.

Quoting SpaceCowgirl:“ I've thought about this before. It's easy to say, "I would never let my child do that." But who knows ... [snip!] ... be kids. They'll get scraped knees and bruises and maybe even broken bones but it's better than having them live in a bubble.”

That's exactly how I started to feel. I felt kind of ashamed for immediately placing judgment.

I dont know how good i will be at letting go, when its a dangerous situation...

but for things like mess, and clothes, and everything else that doesnt matter as much

 
i will let go

Quoting tantriclemons☮ebfb:“ I dont know how good i will be at letting go, when its a dangerous situation... but for things like mess, and clothes, and everything else that doesnt matter as much   i will let go”

lol

I was a little dare devil when I was a kid. I got a ton of bumps and bruises, and even stitches a few times.

There are a ton of things that I can classify as dangerous, like playing at the playground; going on swings, climbing the ladder for the slides. It all makes me think what if.  

Quoting Jess Bootyfuck:“ lol I was a little dare devil when I was a kid. I got a ton of bumps and bruises, and even stitches ... [snip!] ... like playing at the playground; going on swings, climbing the ladder for the slides. It all makes me think what if.  ”

see, thats different
letting them play is one thing

i lived in the mountains and we were aloud to do whatever, just go play

BUT if its a situation where walking somewhere, way young, and there is a danger of getting hit by a car or somehting like that
nah
i will be fine with my uptight ass

Welcome to the Motherhood Club - and letting go is one of the hardest things you will need to do - and still be caring and protective of your child. I am still trying to do this with my guys - and they are all in their 20's - different ages, different issues, different advice and options to consider - you will forever have the innate protectiveness for your children - and you will wonder about them everyday for the rest of your life. I worry about my oldest son walking on beams at work, worry about my middle son that he doen's smoke the wrong stuff, and worry about my youngest son riding his Motorcycle and speeding. Then they bless you with grandchildren, and you want them to parent properly, feel you still know best.........and always want the best for everyone. It continues - in all honesty.

I stop Lily if it will really hurt her.
I let her learn her own limits if the worst that will come of it is a fake tear. She's really good about being careful now. She knows that jumping off the coffee table can hurt a little bit.

Quoting tantriclemons☮ebfb:“BUT if its a situation where walking somewhere, way young, and there is a danger of getting hit by a car or somehting like that
nah
i will be fine with my uptight ass”

I totally agree with being insanely cautious about situations like that.

I guess what brought this thread on was seeing the little boy walking the wall and me thinking would I be too cautious to let Alyssa do that. I don't want to protect her too much.

I am incountering the same problem. I have kept Joshua in such a bubble that when we took him to the park a few weeks ago.. He cried because he was scared to play on anything. My dad and FIL are both always yelling at me telling me I need to let Joshua be a boy. I don't care. I just don't want to see him hurt or in pain. Such a rock and a hard place.

Now with ANOTHER boy comming.. I am going to give myself an ulcer.

Quoting HeatherOO7:“ I stop Lily if it will really hurt her. I let her learn her own limits if the worst that will come of ... [snip!] ... is a fake tear. She's really good about being careful now. She knows that jumping off the coffee table can hurt a little bit.”

That's exactly like the situations I'm thinking, where there is a mild risk. I always have the habit of thinking worst case scenario.

I know I'm tons late on this, lol....well at least by six hours.

As soon as my boys started to walk, that's when I let go. Not by choice, mind you. I was brought up by and over bearing, over protective mother. Even though I swore I wouldn't be her, I find myself her mirror image at times. The person who stops me becoming her is my husband. As long as they are not endangered to the degree that would warrent a trip to the emergancy room (like playing on the stairs), we let them go.

We live in an all but gated community where there are neighbors who look out for neighbors and security cars riding around often. My husband and I are toying around with letting our oldest who is seven years old go to the playground down the street by himself. We've taught him the dangers of strangers and he is very responsible for his age. I'm just not sure if I am ready for that to happen.  

Quoting Jess Bootyfuck:“ So today my SO and I were in the car and we were passing by a beach that we have gone past a thousand ... [snip!] ... child. I feel slightly dumb for writing this but I just want to hear the opinions and experience of others on the matter.”

Ihave this debate with myself often!!!!
when I think of some of the things my mom let me get up to Im like   how am I alive?   
it sucks - i think at some stage we gonna have to just let them learn for themselves - but Im in the same boat as you - I hurt when he hurts  

I have this same issue when im working at my daycare. Im really big on safty and i catch my self alot of times being to cautious and that i should just let the kids be kids. However i feel working at the daycare it maybe a little bit differnt because there not my kids and there ages range from 9 months to 7 years old and what scares my the most is when the older kids might do something and i try so hard to just let them be kids but it scares me even more when a two year old is watching and wants to do it as well .