re: How long is acceptable,,,?

I'd stop calling him... unless it's to notify him of an appointment or something concerning the baby.

Honestly, I wouldnt bother trying to get back with him or keeping those hopes. You're only hurting yourself. He's probably thinking, "oh she's pregnant with my baby and stuck on me... I can go back to her when I'm done with this tramp". and then it becomes a routine vicious cycle. You're too good for that. Focus on yourself and your baby... and when you're ready, enjoy the thrills of the single and dating life!  

Quoting Kiffers:“ So who are you engaged to?”

my fiance who isnt the father of my child...

Quoting Owen's Mommy  :“ OP and [Tasha^Nika]... come join us in the BOSM thread (Better Off Single Mom).   http://forum.baby-gaga.com/about617248-474.html”

Thank you!

Quoting ((*Conny*)):“ he doesn't have to talk to you you are broken up   and if he cheated on you why are you still trying to get with him  ”

Oh I'm not trying to get back with him. I don't think I would ever be able to trust him again. But he confuses me by saying he wants to be involved with the baby. Its like I feel like saying to him "How involved are you really if I am the one who has to call you with all the appts and schedules, or take care of all the preparations? And this is all before I have to move cross country after she's born, and you know it."

Its kind of like I have to judge him now on how he acts for how he will act when she gets here. He can flake on me all he wants, but if he does that to her, I'm pretty sure I'll kill him. My dad did that to me when I was a kid, and I never really knew if he was just a deadbeat that shaped up or what. I don't want my daughter to wonder the same. Either he's in or he's out, and that's all I'm trying to figure out -- is which he is -- by how much effort he is putting in.

Thats what I meant, by what is acceptable? What constitutes an ex whos trying or a guy whos going to be a deadbeat?
Apologies if I seem confused. I've just never had a situation like this before.

Quoting [Tasha^Nika]:“ Also I can't not mention this. Judging by your situation, I hate to break it to you darling but .. ... [snip!] ... out of your head then why don't you two have an adult, mature talk and find out where you stand instead of playing silly games.”

I understand that. I actually have my things in order. I'm finishing my degree, I have an income, and a stable place to raise our baby. I know I can take care of her myself. Which is why one of the few things I worry about now is how involved he chooses to be in his daughter's life. Maybe its early to stress about it, but I had issues with my father too, and I hate for that kind of situation to arise again.  

And we do talk maturely when we speak-- we just don't talk much. And he can't give me answers for anything with the baby other than "i don't know". Its slightly frustrating.  

Quoting llynmyhrt29:“ I understand that. I actually have my things in order. I'm finishing my degree, I have an income, ... [snip!] ... talk much. And he can't give me answers for anything with the baby other than "i don't know". Its slightly frustrating.  ”

Well if he answers your questions with 'i don't know' that's neither mature nor a sign that he cares for you hun.

He may love your child but not you.. it's time to ask him what he wants and accept his answer, if his answer is 'I don't know' then that speaks for itself.

Also I'm afraid but it looks as if you're the one who's holding onto him and that he isn't interested in neither how you're doing or what you're thinking.

Quoting MunchkinButt's Mama:“ I'd stop calling him... unless it's to notify him of an appointment or something concerning the baby. ... [snip!] ... good for that. Focus on yourself and your baby... and when you're ready, enjoy the thrills of the single and dating life!  ”

I would think that too, but he knows I won't be around after she gets here cause we're moving. And I'm sure as hell not going to chase him from 10 states away. I want to try dating and everything, but its rather hard with little one kickin away and constantly reminding me of him. I hate this. Its like he can move on before our relationship is even over -- and i have to wait until god knows when to even feel able to move on. gah.

Quoting llynmyhrt29:“ I would think that too, but he knows I won't be around after she gets here cause we're moving. And I'm ... [snip!] ... can move on before our relationship is even over -- and i have to wait until god knows when to even feel able to move on. gah.”

Honestly? I don't think dating a pregnant woman is something the average guy would consider, that and well after you have your baby the odds of you having time to date are sort of slim. I'm not trying to put you down or anything, just trying to remind you that it's the baby who's important in all this.

Quoting [Tasha^Nika]:“ Honestly? I don't think dating a pregnant woman is something the average guy would consider, that and ... [snip!] ... of slim. I'm not trying to put you down or anything, just trying to remind you that it's the baby who's important in all this.”

WhenI met my fianceI was 14 weeks pregnant. The first thing I told him was "i'm pregnant", he never once thought bad about me. He loves me and my unborn child and conciders him his own. I do believe that some guys are good and can step up to the plate and raise a child even though it is not biologicaly his. We got engaged kind of quick yes, but we are waiting to get married for atleast a year.

Quoting BabiiGurl89 *TEAM BLUE*:“ WhenI met my fianceI was 14 weeks pregnant. The first thing I told him was "i'm pregnant", he never once ... [snip!] ... even though it is not biologicaly his. We got engaged kind of quick yes, but we are waiting to get married for atleast a year.”

That's great for you and such, but doesn't change the fact that this kind of occurrence is rare.

Bump.

Anybody else have some opinions?