The time has come to reveal my biggest secret:

Ever since Lego has turned two.. something has happened to my almost sweet, semi-innocent spawn. It's been a pretty frightening transformation and every day I wake up wondering if I'm going to make it through the day.

It's been hard, fearing for my life like this.. and I'm tired of trying to hide it. It's time to let the rest of the world know of my struggles.

Be prepared. This isn't pretty. If you have small children in the room, you may want to remove them. It could cause nightmares.

No "red eye removal" tool in the world could get rid of THOSE red eyes. You know why? Because they're the eyes of pure EVIIIIIIILLLL! Yes. Don't let that sweet face fool you. He's an advocate for the dark side, which, incidentally, no longer has cookies. They have chips. Of the Lays variety.

Why I continue to be drunk and unfit.. you can almost HEAR the head splitting pitch of his evil little voice just by looking at this picture.

This would almost appear to be a sweet child, preparing to listen to some tuneage. Don't be fooled. This is an evil child, who's preparing to listen to his evil child anthem and then attack once my guard is down.

If this doesn't strike fear into your heart. I really don't know what will.

Relaxing after a long day of shenanigans. It takes a lot of out you.

"Nice. NICE MOTHER! I was giving you a break.. and you interrupted. That's it. I feel as though there's a garbage can or something around here that needs to be dumped out all over the floor. I won't tolerate this blatant disregard for my ME time."

Clearly he's writing out his plans to take me down. I'm just lucky enough to have caught the evidence of his mutiny on film.

(And yes, haters. I both smoke Mavericks and leave the Carton on a table near my spawn. Say something.)

A pretty accurate portrayal. And no, don't go saying: "Awwhhh.. Poor Baby!" It's more like: "THANK GOD! The homewrecker managed to escape unscathed! Obviously this is why he's upset!"

Texting Maria (Ariel) after he already called her in attempts to run up my phone bill... either that, or he was trying to score a date. We're still trying to figure that one out.

Clearly thinking of how once my back is turned, he's going to ambush me and drown me.

No words. I don't think I need to say anything, actually.

Lying in wait for me.

It's very Bonnie and Clyde. It's almost be romantical if I wasn't convinced she's in on his evil plans.

Do you see the look he is giving me? Do you SEE it? He is PLOTTING against my LIFE.



Thank you all for listening to my fears. It's been a trying time for us. Him with his very Stewie-esque plans to rid himself of me.. and me, just trying to make it through to another day.

Pray for my sinner's soul... I think he's stirring in his room.


Oh yeah.. and Happy 4th.

I pray you make it thru the night alive...
o.O

omg...that is too cute!

LMAO.

I bez scurred.

Aww, he's cute! Evil, but cute =)

Where'd you get that chair thing? It's really cool

hahaha.
he a little Stewie, plotting his revenge  

i can find a number for a hotline..do you want it?

Omg, the one with him hiding in the closet... genious!!! good luck!

lol that cutie couldnt harm a fly

lmao   hilarious

I think that the Spawness that is Pee'Yah would give him a run for his money  

Lego is so adorable for such a evil little man  

LMAO, that's too cute!

If your sis ever bails on him, Emery would be more than happy to ride "Bonnie" never before have I seen spawn pics on BG that rivaled the tantrums my daughter can throw.

Good job, Lego, good job..... but try not to kill your mother, I'm rather fond of her.

Where do you come up with this shit Krist?! You're amazing my love!


Lego is so gorgeous!

I love them!!!! I love reading your captions!