July 4th, 2008

Tomorrow marks the day my mother passed away. I can't believe that I've made it so far without her in my life. I've stayed in school, to much of my surprise and of my family's, most of all, I know I've made her proud. I did everything she thought I wouldn't do. I remember that day, I woke up to my sister in law screaming, "JO! JO! JO!" and then my sister shrieking and somebody yelling , "SHES PURPLE, CALL 911". I turned, and my mom was lying on my little sister, her head on my sisters lap... forever sleeping. That was the worst day of my entire life, and I don't remember much after that. I know the night before, my sister called me saying I needed to come home now, I had a feeling something was wrong with mom. She left after I got home to go get dinner, she didn't get home until 3 in the morning, and she had left at 10. I knew something was wrong. She got in 2 accidents that night, neither one was she arrested for, I don't know why. I think that would've saved her life. When she got home, she kissed my boyfriend at the time, and said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my daughter, I love you", I sent him looking for her when she'd been gone so long. I was worried. Never before had something like that happened, she never ever liked any of my boyfriends. Granted, I know she wouldn't like him much now, thank god he's my ex. I wish I had treated her better the years leading up to her death, I walked all over her, partied all the time, and never went to school. She never got a chance to see me succeed. I went to a psychiatric hospital many times in the year leading up to her death, She was always worried about me, and what I was going to do next. I should've been more responsible, maybe she would've been more proud of me. I can't cry over her any more, it just doesn't feel right, I've done my mourning, and maybe after 15 years of being with her, a year of mourning is too short. But even still, it was enough for me. I will celebrate tomorrow, I'll reminisce the times I spent with her, and celebrate her life. My mother was the most amazing woman I have ever encountered, I will always miss her, and I will always love her.

RIP Jo Ella Fox
8-20-64 thru 7-4-08
"Remember, live your life to the fullest, and don't let anything get in your way, peace"

I am soooo sorry for your loss sweetie =(

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother some years ago, too, so I have some semblance of understand of how you feel.

Quoting ♥sheilalynn&hearts:“ I am soooo sorry for your loss sweetie =(”

Thanks.

Quoting Goobear:“ I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother some years ago, too, so I have some semblance of understand of how you feel.”

Thank you, its hard sometimes, but its getting better.

Quoting Harper's Mommy {CLD}:“ Thank you, its hard sometimes, but its getting better.”

I can understand that. Some days are harder than others, yeah? But it lessens as the time passes. |

For me it was especially hard when I got pregnant.

Quoting Goobear:“ I can understand that. Some days are harder than others, yeah? But it lessens as the time passes. | For me it was especially hard when I got pregnant.”

The hardest time for me was when I was getting my EPI, I got it during transition, so I was emotional already, and then I just broke down.

Quoting Harper's Mommy {CLD}:“ The hardest time for me was when I was getting my EPI, I got it during transition, so I was emotional already, and then I just broke down.”

Epidural? 

Quoting Goobear:“ Epidural?”

Yeah. I don't know why I hit the caps button, weird.

Im glad you posted about it...im sorry it had to happen to someone like you and your family, but its good to talk things out tons of love to you tomorrow

Quoting DivasMomma:“ Im glad you posted about it...im sorry it had to happen to someone like you and your family, but its good to talk things out tons of love to you tomorrow”

I'm glad too, I hope I don't have any flashbacks tomorrow. And thanks!

Quoting Harper's Mommy {CLD}:“ I'm glad too, I hope I don't have any flashbacks tomorrow. And thanks!”

im sure you will think about it...not something that just goes away....but try to remember all the good things too

Quoting Harper's Mommy {CLD}:“ Yeah. I don't know why I hit the caps button, weird.”

It's okay. I'm even more sorry it happened on a holiday, because it's likely you won't be able to enjoy it now. At least not for a while.

i'm sorry for your loss. you guys might all want to get together to discuss memories of your mom today and just make sure you all aren't grieving alone.

Quoting Harper's Mommy {CLD}:“ Tomorrow marks the day my mother passed away. I can't believe that I've made it so far without her in ... [snip!] ... RIP Jo Ella Fox 8-20-64 thru 7-4-08 "Remember, live your life to the fullest, and don't let anything get in your way, peace"”

i wish a year from now i have the same feeling because my little Braylon passed away june 17,09.he wuz only 2months 4days.(i hate SIDS)