What to do after the break up?

I would like to know what you ladies did after you and your husband/SO/whatever broke it off for good. What was your arrangement with your child? Did you go to court? Do you do child support? I'm clueless.

PS: I'm pretty sure my boyfriend and I are going to break up. Things are very rocky and he has already said he doesn't want to be with me and that he is unhappy. I'm trying REALLY hard to be strong through this, even though my heart is broken and I'm hurting very badly. I'm curious as to what other mothers did and I would like to keep things out of court if possible.

Quoting *Ellena's new mommy*:“ I would like to know what you ladies did after you and your husband/SO/whatever broke it off for good. ... [snip!] ... and I'm hurting very badly. I'm curious as to what other mothers did and I would like to keep things out of court if possible.”

I'm in the same situation... I'm watching.
(And I know there's a watch topic button, but I wanted to state my presence. lol)

Quoting .:Melissa:.:“ I'm in the same situation... I'm watching. (And I know there's a watch topic button, but I wanted to state my presence. lol)”

Thats fine. Sucks doesn't it? I feel like my whole fucking world is caving in on me. I don't know what to do without him, and the only thing I am holding onto is my daughter.

Quoting *Ellena's new mommy*:“ I would like to know what you ladies did after you and your husband/SO/whatever broke it off for good. ... [snip!] ... and I'm hurting very badly. I'm curious as to what other mothers did and I would like to keep things out of court if possible.”

I know how you feel mama....my husband and I decided just last night to divorce (his choice) and we have a 3 week old daughter. I'm sorry you're going through this!

I'm so sorry momma. I know that y'all can try to work out some sort of custody agreement between the two of y'all without going to court, however, if you want child support court is bound to happen.

Quoting Darlin! [*TBT*]:“ I'm so sorry momma. I know that y'all can try to work out some sort of custody agreement between the two of y'all without going to court, however, if you want child support court is bound to happen.”

I will only ask for child support if he does not support her financially willingly. I want to try reallly hard to be mature about this and put MY feelings aside and think about whats best for Ellena. I figure I could just let him see her whenever he wants, but then he may abuse that, or never see her at all...

Quoting Mrs. Segovia:“ I know how you feel mama....my husband and I decided just last night to divorce (his choice) and we have a 3 week old daughter. I'm sorry you're going through this!”

Ugh, I'm sorry! I know me and my boyfriend weren't married but I have/had a lot invested in him. We even have matching tats! Everything just seemed fine and then BAM total relationship meltdown.

Quoting *Ellena's new mommy*:“ I will only ask for child support if he does not support her financially willingly. I want to try reallly ... [snip!] ... for Ellena. I figure I could just let him see her whenever he wants, but then he may abuse that, or never see her at all...”

If he's a good father he will WANT to see her and WANT to help you out financially with her. Luis saw our daughter 2 days before he went back to Georgia and will probably not see her for a long time. I feel most sorry for her...all girls need their daddy  

If he won't give financial support then you get your butt to court! Be strong mama, it'll all be ok in time

Quoting *Ellena's new mommy*:“ Ugh, I'm sorry! I know me and my boyfriend weren't married but I have/had a lot invested in him. We even have matching tats! Everything just seemed fine and then BAM total relationship meltdown.”

yup, seems like it always happens that way. Just be thankful you didn't get married...having a divorce on my record at 21 isn't what I wanted   But oh well. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it seems to be really far away. You have your daughter and that's what's most important!

My ex and I just finalized our divorce. He watches the kids when I am at work, and takes them over the weekend. As for child support we are still in court for that. But he is still paying me untill it is all set with court.

Go to court, and get CS. Trust me it is hard raising a baby with only one income. If he working, there is no excuse for him not to help you.

Quoting *Ellena's new mommy*:“ Thats fine. Sucks doesn't it? I feel like my whole fucking world is caving in on me. I don't know what to do without him, and the only thing I am holding onto is my daughter.”

Yeah it does suck, but I almost know it's for the better. I don't want someone with me that doesn't want to be here, and I am feeling the disconnect between us too.
I just worry about the baby  

Quoting .:Melissa:.:“ Yeah it does suck, but I almost know it's for the better. I don't want someone with me that doesn't want to be here, and I am feeling the disconnect between us too. I just worry about the baby  ”

Thats kind of how I feel. I do NOT want to be with someone who doesn;t want to be with me. So, the only thing to do is break up I guess... it sucks. I wish that I could know what he wants! I think it has the most to deal with that he wants to have his "fun" and he thinks I'm keeping him from that.  FUCKING MEN! I'm already bi, I'm going gay now!

Quoting *Ellena's new mommy*:“ Thats kind of how I feel. I do NOT want to be with someone who doesn;t want to be with me. So, the ... [snip!] ... that he wants to have his "fun" and he thinks I'm keeping him from that.  FUCKING MEN! I'm already bi, I'm going gay now!”

Haha I've told all my friends that when me and Derik actually break up I'm gunna try my hand at being a lesbian. lol I don't think I could do it though    

Lol, I moved outta town and since you two arent married you will have full custody and you can arange for him to see her. I have split custody tho. Mar is with me every other week. Its hard but i promise after it happens you kinda get a relieved woman power trip thing going. It made me stronger and want to do even better for her. Hang in there and im always on yahoo, im me if you need anything  

Quoting Mrs. Segovia:“ yup, seems like it always happens that way. Just be thankful you didn't get married...having a divorce ... [snip!] ... at the end of the tunnel, even if it seems to be really far away. You have your daughter and that's what's most important!”

Yeah lol, try divorce at 20 haha.