Today.

Today is awful.
Work is awful.
I hate having people ask me how my baby is...and I have to choose;
either lie to them and say fine; or;
tell them the truth and endure the "it will get better's", and the"I'm so sorry's"
I know they mean well, but I just can't cope with all of it yet.
I hate every second of this. Can I wak up from this awful nightmare already?!

i know mama.
i hate having to answer that question too

Quoting I ♥ Hunter:“ Today is awful. Work is awful. I hate having people ask me how my baby is...and I have to choose; ... [snip!] ... well, but I just can't cope with all of it yet. I hate every second of this. Can I wak up from this awful nightmare already?!”

Your not alone girly. .

I can't even imagine what your going through...

I don't even know what to say except I'm truly sorry that you have to go through this..

I can't belive he was here and just poof your whole life changes I don't wanna be one of the ppl your talking about telling you I'm sorry for your loss it will get better....

I don't think it would... not for me... I'm just in shock for some reason that this happend to you.. I'm sorry

Quoting MarchBaby:“ Your not alone girly. .”

sadly enough, I must admit...I feel like I am closer to all of you ladies, then anyone else I know.
Maybe its just that you all understand much better.
The worst one I have heard so far, is one I heard this morning:
"Oh well, at least your young...you can still have another one."
WTF! People have no compassion at all, I swear!

Quoting ♡jaycelynsmommyb:“ I can't even imagine what your going through... I don't even know what to say except I'm truly sorry ... [snip!] ... get better.... I don't think it would... not for me... I'm just in shock for some reason that this happend to you.. I'm sorry”

I doesn't get better. .the people who say those things just have no idea.

Quoting I ♥ Hunter:“ sadly enough, I must admit...I feel like I am closer to all of you ladies, then anyone else I know. ... [snip!] ... morning: "Oh well, at least your young...you can still have another one." WTF! People have no compassion at all, I swear!”

That's all I ever hear. .It's the same fucked up heartless comments everytime someone opens their mouth.

Quoting MarchBaby:“ That's all I ever hear. .It's the same fucked up heartless comments everytime someone opens their mouth.”

Same here. I feel angry all the time.
I work with people in my face on a daily basis. And I dont want to go into freak out mode when they ask about it, or when they say these things, but really they dont have any idea at all what my life is like, and how hard it is for me and other moms like me who have had to go through this...
I wouldnt wish this feeling on my worst enemy... 

Quoting MarchBaby:“ I doesn't get better. .the people who say those things just have no idea.”

yeah gosh I just read your story and started crying...

I feel so bad that this happens to mommies that wanted and loved their babies...

I just don't get it.. its not fair..

Quoting ♡jaycelynsmommyb:“ yeah gosh I just read your story and started crying... I feel so bad that this happens to mommies that wanted and loved their babies... I just don't get it.. its not fair..”

"Why Me" and "Its not fair" are questions that I have came very used to asking myself. I constantly feel that way.

well yeah I don't doubt it I'm sitting here wondering the same things about you and marchbaby...

I'm actually pissed off now..

Quoting I ♥ Hunter:“ "Why Me" and "Its not fair" are questions that I have came very used to asking myself. I constantly feel that way.”

I mostly ask myself if I did the right thing by taking her off life support. .I will never know though, ever.

I play the "what-if" game...
What if I checked on him sooner.
What if I didnt put him down for a nap.
What if I would have been taking a nap next to him...
I could go on for a year, and it still wouldnt change a damn thing.
I hate that. I hate this life. This is not supposed to be this way.

Quoting I ♥ Hunter:“ I play the "what-if" game... What if I checked on him sooner. What if I didnt put him down for a nap. ... [snip!] ... on for a year, and it still wouldnt change a damn thing. I hate that. I hate this life. This is not supposed to be this way.”

I don't even know who's life I'm living because it sure as hell does not feel like it's mine. .I don't know who I am anymore.

Quoting MarchBaby:“ I mostly ask myself if I did the right thing by taking her off life support. .I will never know though, ever.”

you did what you thought was best for your daughter. don't doubt that. don't doubt yourself as a mother